


Loud People

by oopsthisisqueertoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Characters, Alternate Universe, Anal Masturbation, Anal Sex, Angst, Apartment AU, Blow Jobs, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Handcuffs, I’ve decided this whole thing is just a shitpost, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Open Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phone Sex, Pining, Polyamory, Porn, Rimming, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Voyeurism, bookkeeper Akaashi, cause its bokuroo what do you expect, graduate student Kuroo, lot of fantasizing, my boys are verses sometimes, name kink, porn with a plot, professional volleyball player Bokuto, shitty sex talk, smol homophobic interaction, somewhat slow burn, though Akaashi would never admit to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-01-31 01:24:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 74,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12665424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopsthisisqueertoo/pseuds/oopsthisisqueertoo
Summary: Akaashi loves the quiet, but one day that quiet is disturbed when he gets new neighbors. New neighbors who happen to bang each other loudly. Akaashi really doesn't want to meet his neighbors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Just a quick note before we get started. If you’ve read this fic before, it’s been severely changed and will be a thing with plot now! The original stuff will still be there, but in different spots and edited. If you’re new, hi. Welcome to me wishing I was Akaashi. (God, I wish I was Akaashi)
> 
> Also! I’m hella ace and irl sex isn’t really my thing. If something is weird or I’m focusing on something that’s boring to you, please let me know. Gently. I’m a big believer of there not being enough gay porn (and just homosexuality in general) in the world and I want mine to be at the very least not horrific. Or, if you have requests, you can also send them my way here or on [Tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/oopsthisisqueertoo). I’m not really an “on demand” writer so I can’t say I’ll use them (when I’m given what I should do I can’t think of things), but you never know. I might be inspired.

_Damn Japan. Damn censorship laws._

Akaashi scowled as he watched a video on his phone that had all the juicy bits pixelated. It was hard enough to find decent gay porn that wasn’t focused on straight men cheating on their wives with a guy to “try it out” or hardcore bondage. Not that there was anything wrong with those things as long as they were consensual. It just wasn’t Akaashi’s thing. Too rough for him. Porn like that, ones that were unnecessarily complex in his opinion, were too distracting. He already overthought everything. He didn’t need to worry about if the guy was actually in pain or if it was for show or about the moral and financial consequences of cheating on one’s spouse. That was way too much when he just wanted to orgasm. He just needed something that drove him a little buck wild for approximately two minutes so he could cum. No thinking involved. The only thing that needed to be hard about it was his dick.

But, porn was hard for him. Even when he could find a porn he was interested in, there was still the matter of Japan censoring everything.

He really just wanted to see some dude ramming another dude uncensored.

Or, better yet, be one of the dudes. At this point, it didn’t matter anymore. Lately, sexual interaction, hell physical interaction of any caliber, had been pretty scarce. Touch starved didn’t begin to cover Akaashi’s ache for physical interaction. His hands were beginning to linger unintentionally when the cashier passed his change back to him at stores.

Akaashi was reclining in his bed. It was a Saturday morning and he hadn’t yet decided to go for his morning run since he woke up excruciatingly hard. He lay nude with one hand gently stroking his cock and the other holding the tiny display of porn coming from his phone. He didn’t usually watch a lot of porn, but it was unbearably early still and he’d thought it’d be easier than using his imagination this time.

It. Wasn’t really working out though. Akaashi’s wavering erection sent a wave of hot irritation throughout his body.

_It shouldn’t be this difficult. I should be able to just stroke it for a few minutes and cum. That’s how the male body works. It’s so simple. I literally just need to stimulate myself. Why then? Why is this not working?_

Akaashi internally groaned. Scientifically, yes, he should be able to get off with a few minutes of stimulation. If his brain weren’t an overthinking jerk.

He clicked a new video to see if it would be interesting enough to restore his morning arousal. Two men appeared making out on the screen. One was ridiculously buff and the other was much, much smaller in size and muscle. Akaashi’s dick twitched a little for his size kink.

He licked his lips a little and started lazily stroking his dick. The two men on the screen had gone straight from kissing to the larger man shoving the smaller man down on the bed and fucking him into the bed. Akaashi could feel that itching sensation building in his cock. He flipped over to his stomach, placed his phone where he could see it, and simultaneously stroked himself and fingered his ass.

Closing his eyes, he lowered his hips so they were low to the bed, the tip of his cock brushing the soft covers in-between when his hand moved along it. He thrust his fingers harder into his ass and closed his eyes, listening to the moans in the video.

A good moan could do wonders for him. Even hearing his own moaning made his dick throb with desire. Something about it was so exotic and arousing that Akaashi didn’t always need sight. He’d use sound and physical sensation.

He matched both hands to the sounds coming from his phone and pressed his face harder into the bed, mouth open and panting against the sheets.

He imagined a mystery man pounding into him. Really pounding. Fucking Akaashi like a dog. No concern for Akaashi’s comfort. The man would pound into Akaashi while holding both of Akaashi’s wrists against the bed with one hand and have his fingers shoved in Akaashi’s with his other hand. Akaashi would whine for the man to touch him through the fingers, god, please touch him, but he wouldn’t until Akaashi said the magic words.

“Fuck me into submission, daddy.” Akaashi gaped out, in the midst of his fantasy, followed by a loud moan.

At which point, the man would eagerly start stroking Akaashi and continue roughly fucking him further into the bed.

_Just. A little more._

Akaashi’s hips bucked back and forth, not entirely sure which stimulation he wanted more. He was starting to lose the excitement from his fantasy already, errands starting to flood into his mind.

He reared back into a sitting position to bounce on his fingers while furiously stroking himself. He imagined a pair of hands running down his body and lips on his neck, his fingers actually a throbbing dick.

Akaashi gave the quietest, small cuming moan as he spilled on to his hand and stilled.

Out of breath and still dissatisfied.

Solo play wasn’t cutting it any more.

And where the fuck did “Fuck me into submission, daddy” come from? He _did_ _not_ _have_ a daddy kink. No way.

**. . .**

Akaashi ran extra that morning. He figured if he can’t get enough endorphins from sex, he’d try to get them from running. Or so he reasoned. And, by reason, it was a thinly veiled logical excuse to help hide how pissed he was.

Masturbation shouldn’t be that hard. Sex is literally an instinctual thing. Why was mimicking it so hard for him? It should be as easy as goddamn breathing.

He’d date, he’d like to, really, but he only ever seemed to meet people who wanted one-night stands or who he had zero interest in. He was okay with some one-night stands, but damn. They got old. And Akaashi was getting old. He was twenty-seven already. He was beginning to worry about finding some sort of life partner. Being gay, he worried it’d only get harder the older he got.

That being said, he wasn’t really doing anything to fix that. He hadn’t gone out to a bar or club in weeks. He didn’t have dating apps or accounts and he didn’t have too many friends to pressure him into dates. Plus, he worked from home. No way to meet new people there. Not unless he turned the mandatory phone calls he made into something more. Something awkward and breathy with some blank face on the other end severely confused. That wasn’t happening. Unless he got a really friendly new neighbor Akaashi wasn’t meeting anyone new anytime soon. But even that was unlikely. The apartment he lived in was old and run down. His floor had been empty for a while now. Akaashi wasn’t really the social sort anyway. He wouldn’t date a neighbor either. He’d have to move when they broke up. There were too many logistics involved to even entertain the notion.

Akaashi would keep telling himself that he’ll go out next Friday night. Next Friday. Always next Friday. He’d do it then. But, by the time Friday came, Akaashi would be so invested into something in the evening he’d forget that he’d promised himself that he would go out that night. Usually, this revelation was accompanied by a shrug and then settling deeper into his couch with a book, maybe along with some excuse that he needed to be up early tomorrow so he could make it to Mt. Takeo before too late in the day so he could make it up and down the mountain before dark.

Since Akaashi worked from home, he tried to stay busy doing other things. He’d worked from home for about four years now. He’d gotten his Bachelors in business administration, but hated the unhealthy office space dynamic that seemed to be present in every business he had looked into working at. So, instead, he wanted to work away from that. The less people, the better. Somehow, he landed in bookkeeping. It was easy work. Analytical. Akaashi liked it, though it was never very exciting. Some days he couldn’t help but mouth “what the fuck?” twenty-seven times, but usually it was a good job. Plus, he got to do it in pajamas, if he wanted.

Akaashi was good at his job. Currently, he was contracted by two different companies. Technically, he should be working forty hours for each business a week, but he didn’t have to. Most weeks he was done with everything in thirty-six hours. If anything, Akaashi could’ve taken on a third company. He didn’t need to though. He was making money. More money than he really needed. He didn’t need to work his already non-existent life away.

Hence, he used that money and free time to take random classes and weekend trips. Art, computer, ceramic, book clubs, lectures, the occasional dance, ice skating, cooking, coding, symphony. It really didn’t matter. If there was a beginner’s class that was available and sounded somewhat interesting, Akaashi would try it when he got the chance. He liked to learn and be challenged. Expand his world a little.

He also had to use that money to buy plants.

He liked having plants. Tokyo was all concrete except for the planter lined sidewalks. He loved Tokyo, but more greenery was refreshing. He had several plants throughout his two-bedroom apartment, most dying or already dead.

Despite being home all the time, Akaashi always forgot to water his plants. And, sometimes, forgot they needed sunlight. The plants he kept in his bedroom never stood a chance.

He really needed to take a gardening class.

Or set daily reminders.

Something.

His plant bill was getting out of hand.

Along with his plant murder count.

One of the workers at the plant nursery was rather cute, though. Maybe Akaashi would wait until he worked up the nerve to ask the guy on a date. Then never return to that store again. Because surely, the clerk was neither gay nor interested in Akaashi, no matter how many discounts he gave. The guy just felt bad for Akaashi. Or was making sure he kept getting sales from him.

If, in the event, Akaashi ever did attempt to ask the cute guy out, Akaashi would have to either keep his plants alive or find a new plant nursery to break into his plant murdering habits. That wasn’t idea either.

Akaashi ended up running for an hour before he finally exhausted himself. Physically, at least. Sexually, not so much. Still annoyed on that front.

He showered and fixed himself some breakfast, rice and mackerel, before heading to the rock climbing center. If running wasn’t going to fix his mood today, he was going to climb until his arms fell off.

Then maybe read a book or see a movie later.

His wild Saturday plans.

**. . .**

“How is it that you work from home and we do this twice a month, but you’re always late? You’re the most efficient person I know, obsessively even, but you’re always late to our lunches.” Kenma complained.

He was right. Akaashi shouldn’t have been late. They’d met at the same restaurant, at the same time, every other week, for the last two years. The wait staff knew their orders by heart. The staff kept their usual seats open for them. There was no reason why Akaashi should be late.

“I was on the phone with one of my clients. I’m efficient, but they’re not. I always underestimate the amount of time it’ll take for someone else to figure something out. I can’t figure out the equation to calculate stupidity time.” Akaashi plops down and rolls his eyes. Yeah, it’s a mean thought. Not something he’s particularly proud of, but it shouldn’t take so long. Akaashi hated being late.

“Mhm. Anything new and interesting?” Kenma pulled out his phone and started scrolling, a habit he never broke throughout all the years Akaashi had known him.

“Leaned how to make pasta last night, officially killed another plant, and will go to the mountain Saturday, weather pending. You?”

“Shoyou broke one of my old games and I didn’t talk to him for four days. Have a deadline coming up next month. Might have to do work in the actual office. Maybe sleep there.”

“Good luck. Try not to scare the newer developers this time.”

Kenma cut his eyes over at Akaashi, face too scary for someone so cute. “What were you saying about idiots earlier? Sometimes mistakes cost me hours of extra work, if not days and sleep.”

Kenma was terrifying without sleep. It was something Akaashi didn’t want to imagine. He wasn’t sure how Hinata survived during crunch times for Kenma. Maybe it was through the power of love?

The two continued on chattering for a couple of hours in a manner that was probably a bit too snarky for public conversation. Eventually, they both agreed they needed to get back to work before they decided to not go back to work at all that day.

Back to home. Back to Akaashi’s boring life.

Maybe he’d browse for another class or some volunteer work to get into. He’d always been curious about community gardens. Maybe if he had to leave the apartment, he’d remember to water his own plants.

**. . .**

Wednesday lunch this week was with Konoha. Same time, different restaurant. Less snarky conversations. Mostly.

Konoha was living the ordinary life. Unmarried. Work. Busy. He worried about Akaashi since he was alone all the time.

“Isolation leads to insanity, you know.” He always warned.

Akaashi always brushed him off. “Then you better pack in all the socialization you can muster during lunch because I don’t intend on seeing another living person until Friday at all costs.”

Konoha shoots a sly grin back. “Oh? You want to spend that much time with me? Let me tell you all~ about a date I had last week.

Different orders, but the waitstaff knew their order by heart at this restaurant too. Their conversations tended to be more civil than Akaashi and Kenma’s, but Akaashi still held them close to his heart. He only had the two friends. He was grateful they made as much time for him as they did. Otherwise he might actually go insane as Konoha suggested.

**. . .**

Anyone who knew Akaashi knew he liked the quiet. It’s part of the reason he worked from home and lived in an old, empty apartment building.

Akaashi hated loud people. He could never understand why people felt the need to be so… so annoying. If he had to raise his voice it was a bad day. You’d never find him yelling or exclaiming for enjoyment. He barely spoke loud enough for other people to hear. He was constantly asked to repeat things. It’s not that he couldn’t. He could be assertive and bold and loud if he chose to, but he just didn’t see the need to.

His new neighbors, on the other hand, were loud people. He could tell that immediately.

Akaashi had woken up to the sound of two men talking, rather loudly, while moving things into the apartment beside his.

_It’s too fucking early for this shit._

It was always too early for people he could hear through the walls. Time was irrelevant here. He loathed them already. Wished they’d move and they hadn’t even started unpacking already. He’d spend every day avoiding them, if he had to.

Akaashi really hated loud people.

From overhearing their conversation, Akaashi learned that their names were Bokuto and Kuroo and the two were absolute idiots. Just from the moving in process, Akaashi determined that they were two total frat boys who would dick about all the time. Probably young and their first apartment. One hooted and they both would make cringe worthy puns.

Initially, despite their loudness, Akaashi had intended to at least introduce himself even though he already told himself that he wouldn’t.

That lasted until all the boxes had presumably entered the apartment.

It seemed that as soon as the front door to their apartment locked, there were instant thumping noises and low murmuring.

Akaashi didn’t think anything of it at first. He was just relieved that after a morning of loud moving noises that his neighbors had finally quieted down. He’d stayed in bed all morning out of principle. He didn’t like being woken up early. Especially on the one Saturday he’d decided to sleep in. Now that the idiots had finally shut up, he’d get to go back to bed.

Boy, was he wrong.

A moan pierced through the blissful silence causing Akaashi to choke on his own spit. His head shot up toward the offending wall.

“Mmm. Bo. Harder” one of the voices gasped, presumably the man named Kuroo.

“Mmm. Tetsuro. You’re such a slut for me. I want to fuck you all over this apartment” the man, presumably Bokuto, moaned back.

Akaashi’s face was covered in a deep blush and a look of horror. He sat there motionless, unable to process what was happening. A thud and more moaning prompted him back to reality. His eyes widened as he fully and truly realized what was exactly happening on the other side of his too-thin walls. He slunk out of the bed and sat in the corner of the room, his back to the offending wall.

“Kou, fuck me on the kitchen counter” presumably Kuroo moaned. There was a shuffling and then more moaning.

“Tetsu, you’re so fucking beautiful. I would eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.” Presumably Bokuto moaned back. Since they’d moved closer to Akaashi’s sanctuary, he could vaguely hear the sound of skin slapping together.

Akaashi couldn’t help but to roll his eyes. Who said those kinds of things during sex? Who was that loud during sex? Despite the uncomfortable sex talk, there was something still more uncomfortable happening to him. Bulging in his sweatpants was a very hard and raging erection. He bit his lip and looked down at himself.

_This is not happening to me. I am not that desperate._

Another loud moan erupted from one of his neighbors. Maybe both. He wasn’t quite sure. Other things were distracting him. Namely, the precum dripping down his own cock.

_No.No.No.No.No._

Akaashi was embarrassed at being aroused by his neighbor’s sex noises, but it’d been so long for him and they sounded like they were having so much fun. With each moan and thrust, Akaashi’s own erection urged him to take action. Another moan reverberated through the walls and the urge to thrust his own hips began to overpower Akaashi’s rational facilities.

Silently, he set his tea down and slid open the bottom nightstand drawer beside him and pulled out a glass dildo and lube. He threw off his sweatpants and got on his knees. He lubed the dildo up and stroked it in his palm, making sure it was well coated before leaning over and circling the tip of it at his entrance. He teased himself, getting his hole wet from the lube and pressing firmly, but not entering his ass. His cock twitched in excitement and he had to restrain himself from backing his hips on to his toy. Another loud moan inspired him to press into himself slightly, resulting in a small gasp. He let the sensation wash over him and slowly pushed the dildo farther into his ass. He wished it was a real dick. Those always felt better. He pushed it in as far as he could go, hitting his prostate slightly. He let out another soft gasp as the sensation washed over him. He wasn’t going to last long. With his other hand he stroked himself while the methodically thrust the dildo in and out of himself, making sure to brush that sweet spot just as his hand rubbed over his glans. The moans next door were getting louder and more rapid, making Akaashi more hungry for orgasm. From the sound of it, the two were still fucking on the kitchen counter. Akaashi imagined that he was on the kitchen counter being pounded by some mystery man. He imagined the warmth of an actual penis inside of him. Of another hand wrapped around his dick. Of someone’s wet mouth tracing over his neck and chest leaving marks and claiming him as theirs.

“Tetsu, I’m going to cum” presumably Bokuto moaned.

The other man moaned in response before replying with “Kou, fill me with all your cum”.

Akaashi felt himself approaching orgasm, his dick already too hard and the sensation in his ass too much. He thrust the dildo faster in and out of his ass. It was gliding in and out so smoothly now. He pushed rougher and matched the speed of the sounds of skin slapping contact from next door. As he heard the orgasming sounds from the men next door, he envisioned a man pumping cum into him and holding him tightly, their breath and moans against Akaashi’s skin.  It pushed him over edge and he emitted a “mngh” before biting his lip and ejaculating in his hand on onto the floor.

Shame taking over him and dildo still in his ass, he realized that he’d just masturbated to the sound of his neighbors having sex.

No. Akaashi really didn’t want to meet his neighbors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In our souls, we are all Akaashi. Irresponsible plant killers.
> 
> Akaashi has a size kink. It. Is. Law.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to turn this into a thing with pining and angst and the entire second chapter turns into a shitpost. I have no excuses.
> 
> Uh. Kuroo bottoms because Bokuto is a professional athlete and they don’t want to risk him getting hurt. I didn’t realize that’s not how I really headcannon their relationship until I started writing this. So it may come off a little weird.

It’d been a rough morning for Bokuto and Kuroo. Moving wasn’t fun. It was never fun. Neither could understand why some people voluntarily moved frequently. And, okay, maybe they had moved voluntarily this time, but it was still out of necessity.

Kuroo was starting graduate school. Very late, but starting, nonetheless.

And Bokuto was too loud and too much watched by the public to exist is a bustling apartment. Or in general society, but, for some reason, he’d done okay so far. _They’d_ allowed it. Whoever _they_ were.

Reasons aside, moving still wasn’t fun. They had way too much crap. The two of them lacked what some people would classify as self-control. Manga, games, clothes, what could only be described as utter crap, an obscene number of volleyballs for one home, and a literal mountain of clothes hadn’t been easy to move.

Not to mention, there was furniture in there somewhere too. And Kuroo’s baking shit. Bokuto always questioned why Kuroo needed so many damn pans.

“Aren’t they all the same _thing_?”

He would irritate Kuroo until Kuroo finally, out of spite, baked about seven hundred things just to prove each had its own purpose. Each pan was _special_ and “don’t talk about them like _that_ , they can _hear_ you!”.

On those days, Bokuto was the real winner. Or so he thought.

Until Kuroo forced, and watched, Bokuto to run about twenty miles because “None of that was on a professional athlete’s diet and you’re not going to blame me for your lack of self-control!”. And then Kuroo would eat the rest of the sweets and watch Bokuto sweat. While tweeting the entire thing, of course.

Sometimes Bokuto would hide some sweets in his gym shorts (unpacked, the uncultured swine) and snack on them when he ran. Kuroo would see and chase after him to tear it away from him like one would do with a dog who was eating something it wasn’t supposed to.

Kuroo always felt like he was the real winner on those days. Especially when he remembered to check Bokuto’s pockets before they went to the park to run.

Nobody really won.

Except maybe the other people at the park who got to enjoy the spectacle. And literally anyone who followed Kuroo on Twitter.

The two had finally gotten the last of their boxes in the apartment. It was early Spring, which meant it was still damn cold in Tokyo, but the two were drenched in sweat from moving everything. As soon as the door was shut, both of them were ripping off their shirts for some much-needed cool air in the entryway.

Which was probably not a good idea since they wanted to get everything unpacked as soon as possible. Kuroo would start school next week and Bokuto would need his gym clothes for practice Monday.

It’d already happened though. The plan to unpack derailed immediately. Two sweaty, horny men itching for some excuse to not unpack boxes after a morning of hard work didn’t need any other invitation than seeing the other half naked. After years of living with each other, they knew that the other was thinking the same thing without saying anything.

“Bro. You are, like, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Kuroo purred to Bokuto, quickly closing the gap between them.

Bokuto wraps his arms around Kuroo’s waist and kisses him. “Bro. Haven’t you ever looked in a mirror? You’re so sexy.”

“So, when are you going to fuck me all over this house? We’ve had all the boxes in for, like, a whole ninety seconds now.” Kuroo ran a hand through Bokuto’s sweaty hair and pressed his crotch against his.

Bokuto leaned in and gave Kuroo a slow kiss. He bit Kuroo’s bottom lip before pulling away, his eyes already half-lidded and animalistic. “Right now?”

“Mm. My hero.” Kuroo leaned in to kiss Bokuto again.

Bokuto smashed his lips against Kuroo’s eagerly. He picked Kuroo up by the ass and Kuroo instantly wrapped his legs around Bokuto’s waist, making sure to grind against Bokuto as much as the position would allow. Bokuto pushed Kuroo to the wall and began biting at his neck. Kuroo let out a low moan and ran his hands across Bokuto’s nipples.

“Tetsu, you’re so delicious.”

“If you like that, you should taste what I have in my pants for you.”

“Oh! I want it!” Bokuto squealed.

Kuroo slowly releases his grasp on Bokuto and returns to a standing position. Bokuto presses him against the wall, kissing down his body, while his hands frantically unbutton Kuroo’s pants. Bokuto pulled down Kuroo’s pants and instantly brought his mouth to Kuroo’s cock. He licked the underside slowly before taking as much as he cold in his mouth in one go. Being the eager lover he was, he bobbed on Kuroo’s dick quickly, making sure to stare at Kuroo’s face the entire time.

“Bro. You look so beautiful with my dick in your mouth.”

“Mhmm amamm”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Bokuto pulled off Kuroo’s dick and licked the head a few times teasingly.

“I want to fuck you now.”

“Mhm. Yeah. But we haven’t unpacked the lube yet.”

Bokuto stood up and pulled a small bottle from his shorts.

“I used my cargo shorts to carry precious cargo today.” He grinned.

Kuroo rolled his eyes.

“Don’t say cringe worthy things like that or I’ll lose my boner.”

“Aw. Bro.” Bokuto uncapped the lube and poured some in his hand. He stroked Kuroo teasingly. “How could you do that when I’m here?”

Kuroo’s hands darted down to Bokuto’s shorts and unbuttoned them, tugging them down as far as he could reach “Let’s just lose these before they cause a tragedy”. Kuroo stroked Bokuto’s dick.

Bokuto thrusted into Kuroo’s hands impatiently.

“Mhm. Turn around.”

Kuroo excitedly obliged. Bokuto’s lubed hand found his ass immediately and began stretching him while he mouthed at Kuroo’s neck and back. Bokuto knew exactly where Kuroo’s prostate was and pressed against it eagerly causing Kuroo to moan loudly. It echoed in the mostly empty apartment. Bokuto stroked himself with his free hand.

“Bo. Come on. Fuck me.”

Bokuto instantly pulled his hands from Kuroo and rubs the tip of his cock against Kuroo’s ass.

“Don’t be a teeeaaase.” Kuroo whines.

Bokuto grins and shoves his dick completely in causing Kuroo to moan loudly against the wall.

“When have I ever been a tease?” Bokuto thrusts roughly into Kuroo.

“You weren’t until you met me.” Kuroo gives his baiting smirk to the wall.

Bokuto pulls out causing Kuroo to groan in frustration.

“See what I mean?” Kuroo whines and whips around.

Bokuto leans in and kisses Kuroo. He strokes his dick gently as apology for pulling out. “Aw. Bro. I just want to fulfill all your dreams and fuck you all over the apartment.”

“Aw, bro.” Kuroo wipes away a fake tear before gleefully continuing, “Living room and then kitchen!” and pulling Bokuto from the hallway to the living room eagerly.

Kuroo pushes Bokuto down on the couch and straddles him. Kuroo immediately lowers himself back onto Bokuto’s cock and bounces. He runs his hands through Bokuto’s hair while Bokuto’s hands find Kuroo’s hips and helps Kuroo thrust down on him.

“Mmm. Bo. Harder” Kuroo moans. He reaches down to stroke himself.

Bokuto leans forward and mouths over Kuroo’s collarbone. “Mmm. Tetsuro. You’re such a slut for me. I want to fuck you all over this apartment.”

Kuroo smirks. “I’ve always been a slut.”

Bokuto lifts his hips and pounds into Kuroo extra hard causing him to moan extra loud. It echoes throughout the apartment again. Hearing it, Kuroo manages to smirk in-between thrusts.

“Kou, fuck me on the kitchen counter now” Kuroo stutters out, his brain beginning to lose any hope of rational capacity.

Bokuto bites one of Kuroo’s nipples before looking up at him, his eyes half lidded, but sparkling at the realization that Kuroo had another one of his brilliant ideas.

“I thought you’d never ask!”

This time Bokuto is the one pulling Kuroo to the kitchen eagerly. He’s reaching the pinnacle of his self-control and wants nothing more than to be buried in Tetsurou again.

The kitchen is awkward and there’s still boxes everywhere. Kuroo ends up with his back against the kitchen island facing Bokuto. Bokuto is holding one of Kuroo’s legs up and eagerly kissing every inch of Kuroo that he can reach. Kuroo’s got one arm braced on the counter for stability and is lightly clawing Bokuto’s back with the other.

“Tetsu, you’re so fucking beautiful. I would eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.” Bokuto moaned.

“What a coincidence, I want you to eat me at every meal.” Kuroo reaches down to stroke himself. “Say my name again, Kou.”

“Tetsurou.” Bokuto growls. “Tetsurou. Tetsurou. Tetsurou.”

Kuroo’s body starts to tighten with approaching orgasm. He’s panting harder with every time Bokuto growls his name. The sharp contrast between Bokuto’s normal happy-go-lucky personality and his aggressive sex personality gets Kuroo off every time. Put that with Bokuto growling his name always did it for Kuroo. His name kink was nothing to sneeze at.

“Tetsu, I’m going to cum” Bokuto is moaning and pounding into Kuroo furiously.

Hearing his name again pushes Kuroo over and he’s spilling over onto his hand and both their chests. “Kou, fill me with all your cum”. He moans back in orgasm.

Bokuto ejaculates in Kuroo’s ass and thrusts through his orgasm. When he can think again, he pulls out and slowly lowers Kuroo’s leg for him. They press their foreheads together and grin at each other dorkily.

“Shower next?” Kuroo suggests.

“Bro. My sowlmate.” Bokuto whispers before tugging Kuroo toward the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, writing Bokuroo smut dialog: *writes one line. Has to physically look away from computer and silently laughs for five minutes in horror and humiliation. Returns to work. Repeat process*  
> Reading it all together wasn't as cringeworthy as when I was writing it though. Or I've grown immune to it...
> 
> Dialog between what Akaashi hears and what is said here is different because walls. And also, I didn’t like it.
> 
> Also. Damn? This is short? Oh, well. Time to move on to better things.


	3. Chapter 3

Akaashi woke up the next day swimming in a sea of shame.

Also, to the not so muted sounds of his neighbors banging.

Again.

_Holy fuck, why? Wait. I know why. But why do I have to hear it? Do these people not have any fucking shame?_

Akaashi covered his head with the comforter and curled into a ball.

_They were loud yesterday moving in and now they’re loud today fornicating. Is it going to be like this every day?_

A thump on the wall followed by a load moan seemed to answer Akaashi’s question for him. After the initial shock of the thump, Akaashi’s cock gave its own thump against his boxers.

_No, no, no, no, no. That is not happening again. Ever._

Akaashi’s dick protested as the sounds on the other side of the wall seemed to grow louder and be reaching a climax. Akaashi groaned before jumping out of bed and walking to the shower. He didn’t need one, but a cold shower was the best he could do right now. If he waited until they finished, he’s still be masturbating to his neighbors. It’d be engrained on his memory.

Even after he’s showered and is settled at the breakfast table, those moans are still running ceaselessly through his mind.

_When did I become a damn pervert?_

Akaashi rested his head in his hand.

_No. It’s just because it’s been so long. Just get laid and it won’t be so-_

Akaashi takes a bite of rice.

_-arousing?_

He inhales sharply and chokes on his rice.

**. . .**

His neighbors leave within the next couple of hours. Akaashi knows this for a fact because he can hear two loud voices moving from the apartment next door to the hall to the stairwell. Akaashi sneaks over the window that overlooks the main entrance of the apartment complex. Within a few minutes he sees two males exit. It’s the third floor, so he can’t tell much about them. One has black hair and the other has what looks like white hair. Even from so far away, Akaashi can tell that both style their hair shitily. He doesn’t know which is which or what their faces look like, but he at least knows what hair to avoid.

Permanently.

He sighs and goes back to his cup of tea. It was Sunday and he didn’t really have anything planned for the day. Normally he would’ve gone running, but since he had to shower already it seemed like a waste to go get sweaty again.

Maybe he could go over to Akiba and pick up some noise cancelling headphones? The way his new neighbors were there, just existing, he was going to need them.

Then he could also go pick up some new plants to murder.

Not murder from neglect.

Have. Love. Cherish. Whatever.

Maybe he needed to get a cat. It would at least remind him to feed it.

There was also that new movie. . .

_Okay. Headphones, movie, flirt with florist and buy new plants to kill. Then something delicious for dinner. Today will be good. When I get back, it’ll be late and my neighbors will have to be quiet and I won’t have to remember that I’ve heard them having sex. It’s perfect. Then only thing that could be better would be my neighbors deciding to move out immediately and never return._

**. . .**

_God. I have got to stop going to that flower shop. He has to know I think he’s cute and he’s just taking advantage of me for a sale._

Akaashi struggled to carry his four new plant purchases in along with his new and not so cheap noise cancelling headphones.

He didn’t _need_ four plants. That was too many tallies to his plant murder count. Not that he had one. It doesn’t count if it’s not on paper. He’d gone in to just buy a small succulent. He’d read that they’re easier to care for, kind of like a cactus, but less painful and cuter. That some of them _thrived_ on neglectful owners. That it’d be the plant just for him. Instead, he’d been talked into buying two small succulents, a medium sized houseplant, and a small bouquet. All lovely, to be sure, but also very unneeded. And pricey.

He didn’t even look at the total when the cute sales guy rang him up. It was the price he had to pay for his scardy-cat plant murdering ways.

He set his plants on the counter and searched for some sort of vase for his bouquet.

He didn’t have a vase. Or anything resembling a vase that deep enough to keep his flowers. Sighing, he filled a bowl with water and placed the bouquet in it for now.

He grabbed his jacket and walked back out the door, forgetting to water the rest of his journey shocked plants that desperately needed water as well.

Akaashi grabs a vase from a nearby department store before it closes and heads to one of his usual restaurants, a yakitori bar.

He sat in his usual corner that was shielded from most of the restaurant and ordered a bottle of hot sake. He was only about eight skewers in when he hears voices that made his stomach turn.

“Meat! Meat! Meat!”

“Shut up, Bokuto. You’re disturbing others.”

“Aww! Kuroo! I’m excited! I love meat!”

_How? There are over a hundred thousand restaurants in Tokyo. Why this one? On this day? At this time? Is that you, god? Are you punishing me for being a pervert? Is it because I’m gay? Is it because I didn’t donate to the children’s hospital charity drive that one year?_

Akaashi is still silently cursing the gods as the voices get closer.

“Yeah, yeah. Remember you can’t drink tonight, though.”

Chairs scrapped against the floor at the bar just out of Akaashi’s sight. If he leaned over a little away from the wall, he’d be able to see who it was exactly. He’d be able to verify that it wasn’t some strange coincidence that two men who just so happened to walk into the same restaurant he was in just so happened to have the same surnames as his neighbors.

Not to mention dialect and voices.

_What the fuck?_

Akaashi scoots closer to the wall.

“That just means you get to drink tonight.”

Akaashi could hear the insinuation in the voice. The “Get really drunk and I’ll treat you to a _very_ good time. Winky-face.” in the tone.

The reply is quieter. It’s almost a purr, but it still manages to make its way over to Akaashi.

“Bro. You know you don’t need to get me drunk to get me in bed.”

“That’s a good thing, Tetsu.”

Akaashi can hear the grin in the voices still. Almost like teenage boys even though they had to be closer to thirty than twenty.

_Who the fuck calls their lover bro? Are they in-denial of being gay? I’ve heard them fuck at least three times already. That is no bromance._

Akaashi rolls his eyes and focuses on the menu again. He planned to keep eating until they left so he wouldn’t have to see them at all. The less he accidently runs into them, the better. They might start recognizing him if he lets himself be seen too much.

And, if they didn’t realize he was their neighbor, he might be labeled a stalker. Akaashi wasn’t sure which of those was worse.

Probably neighbor. No, definitely neighbor.

“Woah! Holy shit!” a new voice echoed through the restaurant. “You’re Bokuto Koutarou, right? Can I have your autograph? I’m a big fan!”

_Bokuto Koutarou? Fan?_

“Of course, man! What’s your name?”

_Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto Koutarou. Why does that name sound so familiar?_

“Man. I’ve seen you play ever since you played in nationals in high school. You’re a beast when it comes to spiking.”

 _Volleyball_.

“Thank you! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my games! You wanna do a picture too? I don’t mind.”

Akaashi feels the blood drain from his entire body along with his soul and any semblance of self-respect and dignity he’d been clinging on to.

“Oh, man. Really? That’d be amazing.”

_Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no way, right?_

Akaashi shakes his head. His server comes by and drops off more food.

_That hair though. It’s the same color, isn’t it?_

Images of volleyball games and interviews flash through his mind as Akaashi shoves a skewer of bacon wrapped asparagus into his mouth, earning him a burnt tongue.

_But why would he live in that run-down apartment? Surely, he makes enough money to live in something better? Something not in the Shibuya area. More like Roppongi. Unless it’s because of the gay thing? He is in the public eye._

Akaashi quickly polishes off three more skewers of meat. Curiosity is starting to make him more ancy. He scoots over to the side of the booth just enough so if he leans to the side a little, he’ll be able to see the bar.

“Man. Thanks so much for the photo. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, man. I’m always happy to meet a fan.”

_Fuck it._

Akaashi leans over a little so he can see. The bar is empty aside from three people, two of which are sitting, and the other is standing idly by blushing and rubbing the back of his head. The one sitting closest to Akaashi has black messy hair and a casual smirk. He looks like he’s zoning out, but Akaashi can tell he’s carefully keeping an eye on the other patrons even though there’s not that many. His body seems to stiffen slightly as if he feels Akaashi’s eyes on them, but he doesn’t look in Akaashi’s direction. It’s no one Akaashi recognizes.

The other man sitting unnecessarily close to him, though. He has silverish white hair and an undercut. He’s muscular. And loud.

_And that is indeed the national volleyball player, Bokuto Koutarou. Fuck._

Akaashi quickly slides back to the wall. He can’t get close enough to the wall. It’d be great if the wall opened up and ate him so he could get out of that restaurant as soon as possible.

_This is my silent plea to the void. Please. Come. Take me. Let me join you._

Since the void doesn’t answer, Akaashi takes another shot of sake and presses the button to call his server.

“May I have another bottle of sake and 10 more of this, please?” He asks and points on the menu for the server.

“Of course! Coming right up!” The sever enthusiastically replies causing Akaashi to wince a little and shrink further into the corner.

_I masturbated to the Bokuto Koutarou, professional volleyball player, and his partner getting it on._

He takes a swig of sake straight from the bottle.

_Nothing left to do but eat until they leave or die. Then go home and start looking for new apartments._

**. . .**

No less than thirty-four more skewers, two and a half bottles of sake, and a bill that he rather not remember later, Akaashi stumbles back into his apartment.

_I should’ve known they’d be there forever eating. Bokuto-san is a professional athlete, after all. He must work up an appetite._

Remembering how much he ate, Akaashi has to push down the desire to vomit. Instead, he stumbles back to his bedroom and collapses on the bed. He can hear faint whispers coming from next door, but they’re not loud enough to decipher.

Akaashi passes out fully dressed on top of his covers. The next morning, he doesn’t wake to the sound of his neighbors, but the severe throbbing in his temple of a hangover.

_It’s going to be a lovely fucking day._

**. . .**

“What’s wrong with your face? You look like shit.” Kenma offers without even looking up from his Switch.

Late again to their bi-weekly lunch, Akaashi just offers a scowl in return as he sits down.

“Seriously. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Kenma pauses his game and looks up. “Are you really trying to tell me I’m wrong here?”

Akaashi gives Kenma a flat look back, but it’s returned that perceptive look Kenma always has. Akaashi sighs and gives up.

“I have new neighbors.”

Kenma resumes his game. “And?”

“They’re loud. Really loud. Like screaming children at a funeral loud.”

“Surely, you’ve had loud neighbors before. This is still Shibuya, technically.”

The server comes by and drops of their usual drinks and confirms their usual order. Akaashi waits until they’re firmly out of sight before he continues.

“Yes, but I’ve never had to hear my neighbors banging at least twice a day, every day.”

Kenma chokes on the tea he’d started drinking.

“Is it that bad?” He pauses to drink some more tea to clear his throat. “Or. Is it, like, straight people?” Kenma offers  a shudder at the thought.

Akaashi wrinkles his nose at the thought as well. “Nope. I’m very lucky in that respect. It’s two men.”

“Are they attractive?”

“Very much so.”

“Then what’s the problem? Enjoy it or buy some noise cancelling headphones.” Kenma offered. Then, under his breath, “Or complain every day until they get evicted.”.

Akaashi sips his tea and stares at Kenma with as much as a blank face as possible and blinks a few times.

“There’s something else?”

“Well.” Akaashi starts, not sure if he really wants to tell Kenma or not. “One of my neighbors may or may not happen to be a somewhat celebrity that I happen to admire.”

Kenma’s eyes flicker up to Akaashi. He can see the calculations running through his head trying to deduce who lived in that area that could be gay that Akaashi admired.

“Hrrng.” Kenma growled. “That could still be almost the entire Japanese national volleyball team. Spill it. Who?”

Akaashi looked away and made sure no one was listening in their conversation before leaning in closer to Kenma.

“Bokuto Koutarou.” Akaashi whispered.

Kenma’s eyes widened, but he didn’t respond. He leaned back and pressed play on his game. Akaashi would’ve been offended if he didn’t know that Kenma was thinking.

“Jealous.”

Akaashi jerks back slightly in his seat. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I said I’m jealous.”

“Why?”

“You have a professional athlete next door and you get to listen to him and his boyfriend fuck for free.” Kenma pauses, a new thought coming to him. “Or is the boyfriend ugly? Or annoying?”

Akaashi thinks back to the man he saw in the restaurant. Tall, fit, shitty hair. Not ugly, though. If anything, he had that almost bad boy handsome vibe to him. His laugh was atrocious, but it wasn’t exactly a deal breaker. Akaashi hadn’t heard that cackle during sex yet, at least. He shakes his head in response.

Kenma flourishes his hands as if he’s proven his point. “See? Free porn.”

“Maybe so, but you haven’t heard their sex talk. It’s terrible. It’s like two freshmen college frat boys who are experimenting, but don’t want the other to think they’re gay. They call each other bro.”

Kenma gives him a flat look back. “You watch porn. It literally can’t be any worse than that. Even with them using the term bro.” Kenma shudders after having to utter the word “bro”.

“You. You may have a point there. But with porn I can at least mute it and watch the fun. I can’t do that with my damn neighbors. I still hear it even with my headphones on.”

“Well~”

Akaashi feels his stomach lurch and squints at Kenma. Kenma never uses that sing-song voice. He wasn’t a sing-song type of person. Unless he was plotting evil.

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

“You could just ask to join.”

Akaashi feels the blush creep up on his face. “How can you even say that aloud?”

“Keiji. You could be having very hot threesomes with your very gay and attractive neighbors who have no shame.” Kenma flatly counters. “It’s not any different than going out and hooking up with someone.” He logically adds, knowing how much Akaashi loves logic.

Their server choses that time to deliver their meal. They set down the plates and briskly walk away without making eye contact with either of them.

Akaashi looks over at Kenma with a pout. “Thanks, Kenma. Now we can never come here again. We’ve been coming here for years, but you’ve finally managed to make it weird.”

Kenma takes a bit of his burger before shamelessly responding. “If you’d focus on cuming on your neighbors I wouldn’t have to be so blunt.”

“I’m going to have to start only having lunch with Konoha.”

“Try it. I’ll just show up at your office.”

“I work from home.”

“Exactly. Then we can listen to your neighbor’s fuck together. You could consider it a bonding experience. We can deliberate if it sounds like it’s worth trying to join in.”

“No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Not happening.” Akaashi waved the thought away.

“Then after I’ll just accidently knock on their door and see what happens.” Kenma pushed some hair behind his ear before locking his eyes on Akaashi.

“Why are you so mean?”

“Probably because I don’t have two hot neighbors to jerk it to for stress relief.”

Akaashi scrunches his face up in disgust.

“Why, Kenma? Why?”

**. . .**

Every morning that week Akaashi hears his neighbors fucking. Both leave shortly after for a thirtyish minute run. They come back and have a mostly quiet breakfast. Bokuto leaves shortly after and the other, Kuroo, stays home.  He’s quieter when he’s alone, though he does tend to talk to himself, or so Akaashi thinks. Throughout the day, Akaashi hears a cat meowing and realizes that Kuroo is talking to the cat, Bagheera, while he unpacks and organizes the apartment.

Bokuto comes back around midday for a few hours to each lunch and relax. They usually watch TV and chat. Bokuto leaves in the afternoon to go back to practice. Kuroo continues whatever he’s working on and makes dinner. After dinner they usually goof around for a bit before banging. After that they shower and Bokuto goes to bed early. The low hum of the TV can be heard still after and Akaashi assumes Kuroo stays up later watching TV.

Akaashi doesn’t need to talk to his neighbors to hear this. He knows because he can hear it. Everything. He feels a little guilty. Like he’s somehow invading in their lives. He can’t really help it though. He can’t live in his apartment wearing headphones all day. That’s unreasonable.

Though, he can’t say he isn’t getting his money’s worth from them.

One night he almost makes the fatal mistake of accidently meeting his neighbors.

He’d just come back from a “How to Have a Mini Countertop Compost” class and was in the lobby checking his mail. Even though he was practically home all the time, he always forgot that mail was a thing. He didn’t understand why people still sent physical mail. It was much more convenient and environmentally friendly to just send emails. Leave the physical mail for serious bill collection and government documents.

But, despite from unsubscribing from as many mailing lists as humanly possible, he still received physical mail on occasion.

And the occasional wedding invitation.

Akaashi stared down at it with disdain.

_I know I’m at that age, but I really wish people would stop rubbing their happiness in my face._

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t hate weddings, per say, but they reminded him of how single he was and that he was getting closer and closer to thirty. And how very gay he was. And how even if he got married, it wouldn’t be recognized throughout the entire country. Or by most people.

Akaashi stared back down at the wedding invitation and reluctantly opened it to read the details. If that wasn’t enough to make him queasy, two voices that made his stomach jolt and spine tingle, entered the building. Akaashi instinctively raised the wedding invitation higher to partially conceal his face.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

“Broooo. Make me something good to eat.” Bokuto whines. He’s holding Kuroo’s hand and swinging it back and forth.

“Like what? Pop-tarts?” Kuroo teases back.

Bokuto stops walking for a moment before squawking back, “Yes! Exactly! Please tell me we have Pop-tarts!” He pulls Kuroo faster toward the stairs.

Akaashi is starting to feel relieved, but he can feel eyes on him. Kuroo stops near the stair and Akaashi is sure he’s staring at him.

“What is it, bro? I want Pop-tarts!”

The prickling feeling of being watched disappears.

“Nothing.” Kuroo purrs back and they start making their way upstairs. “I’ll give you one Pop-tart, okay?”

“Awww! Kuroooo!”

The voices are getting fainter, but Akaashi can still hear the reply.

 There’s a soft laugh and then, “Sorry, bro. You know I’m your self-control, which is just sad.”

“Uuugh!”

Akaashi waits several minutes before heading back to his own apartment. He slips the key in and sneaks in as quietly as possible. Kuroo and Bokuto are being loud anyway, so it’s probably not necessary, but he doesn’t want to create any reason to meet his neighbors.

_I can’t believe I masturbated to the Bokuto Koutarou and his boyfriend fucking. I can never meet him now. Never. I can’t even go to games now. I can’t even watch him on TV anymore._

Yelling and giggling next door follow Akaashi’s thoughts. Then, hushed voices and moans, steadily building to reverberating groans.

_And they’re fucking again. Great._

Akaashi slips his headphones on. He really doesn’t want to meet his neighbors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noise cancelling headphones can’t help you tune out the sounds inside your head, ‘kashi. ;)
> 
> Éowyn voice: THAT IS NO BROMANCE.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET.
> 
> UNIFORM and ma boys being verses. But it’s also kinda fluffy and sweet too?  
> (Bokuto bottoming earlier than planned. Oh well. Fuck my own plans.)
> 
> Me: Yeah! I’m barely going to make this in on time!  
> Me: *gets pulled into hour long conversation with lady about her shitty 15 y/o son*  
> Me: That was decidedly unsexy and now I’m stuck.

“Broooo!” Bokuto comes barreling in the front door, because how else would anyone enter their home. “New uniforms are here!”

“Ohohohoho? Let’s see it.” Kuroo lifts his head up from the textbook he was reading on the couch. He pushes his glasses back up in time to catch Bokuto stripping in the middle of the living room. Kuroo flips the book shut and sets it down on the table along with his glasses. “Looks like that’s not getting done.”

Fully dressed, including kneepads, Bokuto puffs out his chest and hoots. “Well? How do I look? Awesome, right?”

Kuroo rests his head on the arm of the couch and grins before flatly replying. “Dreamy. Absolutely ravishing. Too hot. You’re going to distract the other team with your dashing good looks. Especially those kneepads.”

“Kurooooo!” Bokuto deflates. “If you don’t like it, don’t lie to me!”

“Sorry, bro. You do look insanely dashing, but they didn’t change anything from last year. It’s like I’m seeing you in the same uniform for the zillionth time.”

“I guess.” Bokuto pouts for half a second before he starts stripping again. He tosses the uniform at Kuroo’s face, who’s steadily admiring his naked body from the couch. When he’s down to his underwear he declares, “You wear it!”

“Me?” Kuroo pulls a face.

“Yeah!” Bokuto vibrates as he slips his shorts and shirt back on. “Come on. I want to seeee!”

“Alright, alright.” Kuroo stands and begins to walk to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh.” Kuroo stops and turns. “The bathroom? I’m not vulgar like you.”

“We’ve fucked all over this apartment!” Bokuto calls back as Kuroo shuts and locks the bathroom door. Bokuto squawks back at the sound of the door locking. “I didn’t know we locked doors in this house!”

“That’s different! And I only lock doors for my safety!” Kuroo shouts back as he pulls his shirt over his head. Then, to himself, “Geeze. If I change in front of you there’s no surprise to it.”

Changed, Kuroo saunters out from the bathroom to find Bokuto sitting backward on the couch, resting his head on the back of the couch, staring adamantly in the direction of the bathroom. Kuroo swings his hips for dramatic effect and leans against the doorway.

“Whoa.” Bokuto breathes, not moving. “The red really suits you. Brings me back to the old days.”

The old days being when they’d only joke about fucking each other behind the gym instead of actually fucking each other behind the gym.

Kuroo smirks. “Should I have tried to join the national team instead of going to graduate school?”

“Absolutely not.” Bokuto shakes his head vigorously. “We would’ve both been kicked off the team because I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you and there wouldn’t be any junk food left in the house for me to sneak.”

Kuroo feels his eyebrow involuntarily twitch.

_I’m just going to ignore that junk food comment._

“When’d you learn how to smooth talk like that?”

“Smooth talk?” Bokuto squawks. “You know I can’t do that! I’m serious. I’m hard right now just looking at you!”

“Damn, bro. I know I’m hot, but still.”

Bokuto has that look in his eyes already that tells Kuroo he’s really not playing around.

“Come closer.” Bokuto commands. Kuroo takes exactly one step closer and smirks. “Closer. Closer. Closer.” Bokuto keeps demanding until Kuroo’s pelvis is flush with the couch. “Stand on the balls of your feet for a sec, ‘kay?”

Kuroo obliges and Bokuto quickly slips Kuroo’s dick from the shorts and tugs it a few times before swirling his tongue around the head.

“Mhmm. No underwear? Were you anticipating I’d like you in my uniform?”

Kuroo says nothing, but pushes his hips forward while smirking down at Bokuto. Bokuto takes Kuroo’s cock in his mouth and bobs on it eagerly. The sensation of Bokuto’s mouth brings Kuroo’s dick to a full erection. He lets a small moan escape before grabbing Bokuto’s hair with both hands. Bokuto rests his head back down on the edge of the couch and relaxes his jaw so Kuroo can freely thrust in his mouth.

“Mmm. Kou.” Kuroo grunts as he thrusts his whole length in and out Bokuto’s mouth. Bokuto’s own hands are busy stroking himself where Kuroo can’t see. Kuroo tightens his grip on Bokuto’s hair and thrusts harder into his mouth. “It’s a good thing you don’t need your voice for volleyball.”

Bokuto moans in either protest or pleasure. Kuroo gives another smirk. He loves fucking Bokuto’s throat raw so it’s sore the next day. Thinking about it, Kuroo thrusts a little too hard into Bokuto’s mouth, causing him to wince in pain. Tears are starting to form in the corners of his eyes. Kuroo slowly untangles his hands and wipes the liquid from Bokuto’s face. Bokuto leans into one of Kuroo’s hands and lets out another moan that crawls up Kuroo’s dick.

Kuroo lets out a low moan. “Mhm. Kou. I’m gonna come.”

Bokuto lets out another low moan and sucks harder on Kuroo’s dick. He edges forward a little bit so Kuroo is hitting the back of his throat even though Kuroo knows it’s not a sensation Bokuto is particularly fond of. With everything about Bokuto, though he’s eager and it turns Kuroo on more. Kuroo’s hands find their way back into Bokuto’s hair and he slams his hips forward with a desperation.

“Goooood, Kou.” Kuroo gasps out.

Kuroo thrusts a few more times and spills over in Bokuto’s mouth. Surprised, Bokuto ends up jerking his head back and coughing. Kuroo squirts a little on his face.

Panting, orgasm still running through him, Kuroo lowers himself back. He wipes the cum off Bokuto’s face with a finger and dips it into Bokuto’s mouth. Bokuto licks his finger clean before grimacing.

“You need to stop eating shit.”

His voice is slightly hoarse and Kuroo immediately wants to fuck his mouth again to see how bad it can get. His dick twitches slightly in response to the thought.

Kuroo closes his eyes and groans. “I have the eat all the shit food we bring home so you can’t.”

“I have something you can eat.” Bokuto waggles his eyebrows.

“Ah. Shit. Sorry, dude. Let’s move to the bed though. I can’t feel my fucking toes.”

“Okay!” Bokuto straightens up and jumps over the couch, boner proudly displayed as he’d mysteriously lost his shorts sometime in the last few minutes. He picks Kuroo up and shifts him so he can carry him bridal style to the bedroom.

Kuroo covers his face with his hands. “Bro. Why?”

“Hm. I could do it this way?” Bokuto shifts Kuroo so he’s carrying him over his shoulder.

“Much better. Now ravage me.” Kuroo throws his arms over his head dramatically.

A few short steps later, they’re in the bedroom. Bokuto tosses Kuroo on the bed and clamors on top of him, his mouth finding Kuroo’s instantly. Bokuto immediately shoves his tongue into Kuroo’s mouth and with it something salty-

_He did not just-_

“Bokuto!” Kuroo pushes Bokuto back and tries to get the taste of his own cum out of his mouth.

Bokuto sits back on his haunches and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He smirks at Kuroo with half-lidded eyes.

“Ugh. I don’t even want to have sex with you now.” Kuroo whines. He grimaces because his mouth is coated and because, yes, he really does need to start eating better. He falls back into the bed and closes his eyes.

Bokuto grins and rocks his hips back and forth on Kuroo. “That’s a shame because I was really wanting you to fuck me today.”

Kuroo’s eyes flutter open immediately and lock on to Bokuto’s. “You don’t have any games coming up? Nothing important volleyball related?”

Bokuto throws his shirt off and starts tearing his jersey off Kuroo. He leans forward and licks from Kuroo’s collarbone up to his ear before taking his ear in his mouth and nibbling on it. Kuroo gives out a soft groan and Bokuto’s hand travels down to where Kuroo is still wearing Bokuto’s uniform. He tugs it down as far as he can reach and Kuroo kicks the shorts off. Bokuto releases Kuroo’s ear and trails down his body with open mouthed kisses and tongue. He stops at Kuroo’s nipple and laps his tongue over it before biting it softly.

“Bokuto” Kuroo groans arching into the bed slightly. “You’re not giving me a real answer.”

Bokuto stares up at him before moving to Kuroo’s other nipple and sucking at it. Kuroo groans again and thrust his hips up slightly. Bokuto lightly trails one hand down Kuroo’s side and finds his cock. He pumps it gently before going back up to Kuroo’s throat and biting it and smothering it with kisses. Kuroo lets out another groan.

“Are you teasing me so I’ll want to no matter if you have games are not?”

Bokuto can’t hold back the smile he makes against Kuroo’s throat. He sits back up and straddles Kuroo.

“Oh Tetsu~” Bokuto makes sure to make his voice sound hoarser than it actually is and deliberately licks his lips. He pauses feeling Kuroo’s dick harden at the sound of his own name and grins again. “You act like I’m capable of deceiving you.” He rubs his ass against Kuroo’s cock and strokes his own aching cock a few times.

Kuroo pulls Bokuto’s hand from his cock and takes two fingers in his mouth. “God, Kou. I want you.” Kuroo sits up and meets Bokuto in a kiss, their tongues both eagerly tasting each other. “On your knees facing the bed. And don’t even think about touching yourself or I’ll handcuff you.”

Bokuto lets out a cheer before obeying. Once face down and ass up, he peeks at Kuroo. “What if I want you to handcuff me?”

“If you want me to handcuff you, I will. But if you want to be handcuffed because you touched yourself, I’ll make you watch me pleasure myself until you come from just the sight.” Kuroo leans over Bokuto’s back to breathe in his ear. “And then I’ll go back to studying without touching you again.”

“Bro! That’d be the cruelest!”

Kuroo runs his hands down Bokuto’s sides and kisses down his back as he lowers himself back down. Kuroo grasps Bokuto’s hips, causing Bokuto to involuntarily thrust forward a little in anticipation.

“Hurry up. You know how impatient I am and you haven’t even touch-“ Bokuto’s words get cut off by a loud moan as Kuroo grabs both of Bokuto’s ass cheeks and laps his tongue over Bokuto’s hole eagerly.

“Mhngg! Tetsu!” Bokuto pants and thrusts his hips forward again, looking for friction. Kuroo holds him still best he can as he shoves his tongue in and out of Bokuto’s hole.

“Testu! Tetsu! Tetsu!” Kuroo’s name is spilling out of Bokuto’s mouth with every breath now. “Please fuck me already. I want you so bad. If you keep doing that I’m going to come just from your tongue. Oh, god. Please, Tetsu. Fuck me.”

Kuroo pushes Bokuto down so he’s flush with the bed and licks him roughly, while stroking his own cock lazily.

“Mhrnnn. Tetsu!”

Kuroo moans against Bokuto’s hole from the sound of Bokuto calling his name. Bokuto thrusts his hips against the bed as much as he can with Kuroo pressing him down. Kuroo sees it and pulls Bokuto back up.

“Turn over.”

Bokuto slowly obeys and Kuroo digs in the bedside drawer. Kuroo takes his time searching and Bokuto’s hand starts drifting down to his cock. Kuroo grabs his wrist and handcuffs it before he can reach. Bokuto instantly pouts.

“I told you to not even think about it.” Kuroo smirks as he grabs Bokuto’s other wrist and interlaces the handcuffs with the headboard.

“Testu.” Bokuto whines. “You’re not really going to not touch me, right?”

“Ohoho. I’m going to touch you. Just not your dick.” Kuroo gives a devilish smirk before popping the cap on the lube he’d found.

He generously lubes up several fingers before rubbing against Bokuto’s entrance. He wants to be rough and already fuck Bokuto until they both pass out already, but Bokuto rarely bottoms and he’s bound to need a lot of stretching.

Kuroo leans forward to softly and slowly kiss Bokuto. He keeps gently rubbing Bokuto’s hole and when Bokuto stops fidgeting against it, he slowly slides one finger in. Bokuto jolts a little and Kuroo bites his lip for a distraction.

“This is why you should let me bottom more. It’s weird when it’s been so long.” Bokuto sheepishly admits between kisses.

“Nope.” Kuroo tugs on Bokuto’s lip again before moving down to his neck and softly biting it. Bokuto groans in in his throat and his hips lift so Kuroo takes the opportunity to slide his finger back and forth. Bokuto winces at first, but his breathing slowly becomes heaver and Kuroo slips in a second finger without Bokuto noticing.

Soon, Bokuto is thrusting against Kuroo’s fingers and moaning. Kuroo pauses from kissing Bokuto to watch his lover. Bokuto’s eyes are closed and his mouth is open panting for more. He’s got a layer of sweat forming along his body. His swollen cock is dripping precum on his stomach as he thrusts his hips down on Kuroo’s hand. He realizes that Kuroo has stopped kissing him and his eyes flutter back open and stare up at Kuroo confused. Kuroo takes that moment to slip in another finger and brush against Bokuto’s prostate.

Bokuto’s eyes snap back shut and his body arches up as he moans. He slams back down on Kuroo’s hand, searching for that sensation again. Kuroo smirks as he watches Bokuto fuck himself on his hand.

Just before Bokuto starts getting too close, Kuroo pulls his fingers out and slowly kisses Bokuto as he calms back down a bit.

“Kou. I can’t wait any longer. I’m going crazy.”

Bokuto groans into Kuroo’s mouth. “Fuck me then, Tetsurou.”

“As you wish.” Kuroo smirks and nips Bokuto’s chin before reaching for the lube and breaking away from him.

Kuroo positions himself between Bokuto’s legs and snaps the lube open. He squirts a generous amount on his hand and strokes himself with it, making a show for Bokuto, who watches hungrily. Lubed up, Kuroo lines himself up to Bokuto and leans forward so his hands rest on either side of Bokuto. He distracts Bokuto with a kiss as he slowly presses in.

“Mhnngg! Tetsu!” Bokuto gasps and tugs at the handcuffs. “God. Please touch me. I want to cum so bad.”

Kuroo bites Bokuto’s collarbone and thrusts in and out gently trying to not get too excited and get rough.

“You’re such a tease.” Bokuto whines.

Kuroo slowly pulls himself most of the way out and sits back up. He props one of Bokuto’s legs over his shoulder and slams into him rapidly.

Bokuto cries out in moans. “God, Tetsu. I love it so much when you fuck me.”

“Mhm. I better slow down so you can enjoy it longer then.” Kuroo smirks and slows his hips down to a crawl.

“What? No!” Bokuto cries out. Impatient now more than ever, he starts tugging at the handcuffs for the safety release. He finds it before Kuroo can move to stop him and the next thing he knows, Bokuto has him pinned down on the bed and is kissing him everywhere as he handcuffs one of Kuroo’s wrists and pulls it up to the headboard.

Before Bokuto can get Kuroo’s over hand, he reaches down and strokes Bokuto a few times. Bokuto stills and thrusts his hips in Kuroo’s hand. “Are you sure you want to handcuff both my hands?” He teases.

Bokuto snaps back to attention and bites his lip while he considers the possibilities. Kuroo rubs his cock against Bokuto’s ass since it’d slipped out in the tussle.

“You may have one hand!” Bokuto decrees as he cuffs the other empty cuff to the headboard. He gives Kuroo a quick sloppy kiss before positioning himself over Kuroo’s dick. With a grin, he slams himself down on Kuroo. “Ahh! Yes!” he moans, sliding up and down Kuroo’s cock.

Kuroo holds Bokuto’s waist to help keep him steady. He can’t help but to close his eyes and bite his lip. “God, Kou. You’re so fucking tight still.” He growls to Bokuto, trying not to thrust his own hips forward.

“Touch me, Tetsu.” Bokuto moans and grabs Kuroo’s hand and places it on his cock.

Kuroo lets out a moan and bucks his hips up as he runs his hand up and down Bokuto.

“Mhm. Yeah. Tetsu. That’s it. Mng.” Bokuto is bouncing at a furious rate. Kuroo can feel his cock twitching as he starting to get close. “Mmm. Tetsurou.”

_Fuck with these handcuffs._

Kuroo tugs hard at his handcuffed wrist, causing the cheap thing to break. He leans up to kiss Bokuto, who meets him eagerly. With his free hand, he grabs Bokuto’s firm, muscular ass and strokes him more vigorously with his other hand.

“Oh, god, Koutarou. You’re so fucking beautiful. I love fucking you so much.” Kuroo growls back at him.

“Hng. Tetsu, I’m coming!” Bokuto moans into Kuroo’s ear. He tightens around Kuroo’s cock and lets out a loud groan as he splatters all over himself and Kuroo. He breathes Kuroo’s name throughout his entire orgasm. “Tetsu. Tetsu. Tetsu. Tetsu.”

Kuroo lets out a loud groan before spilling into Bokuto.

The two eventually still and Bokuto slowly lifts off Kuroo. He immediately collapses on the bed beside Kuroo. Kuroo grabs his hand and interlaces their fingers, still panting.

“Again in thirty minutes, right?”

“Of course.”

**. . .**

Akaashi’s having a perfectly quiet afternoon, boring even, working when he hears Bokuto come clambering in the apartment next door.

_Damn obnoxiously loud child._

Akaashi shakes his head and tries to refocus on the spreadsheet in front of him. He’s sitting at the coffee table in the living room working on his laptop. He doesn’t have much work to do, but the spreadsheet he’s looking at doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. That, or, the company has fucked up royally somewhere. He’s been playing with it for two hours now and frustration is at a peak. He desperately wants to save it for tomorrow, but part of him also wants to finish it so it’ll be done and gone.

Of course, though, his neighbors have other plans. There’s yelling almost immediately back and forth between them. Akaashi tries his best to tune it out and not listen to other people’s private conversations, but his ears pick up something about a uniform and his brain immediately pictures Bokuto in the national team uniform, complete with his signature long kneepads, bulging muscles, and that bright smile that could power a nation.

_Bokuto is really more attractive in person than the TV lets on, though._

Akaashi shook the thought from his head.

_Nope. I’m not doing that again. No way. I don’t want to be the sort of creepy fan that masturbates to my celebrity neighbor or even thinks about him sexually. That’s not okay._

Akaashi puts his glasses back on and leans back toward the spreadsheet, starting back at the beginning again. There’s a low growling that comes clearly through the walls that sends a shiver down Akaashi’s spine and directly to his genitals.

“Mmm. Kou.”

_Again?_

Akaashi glances at the clock. It’s only just past three. Normally, Bokuto wouldn’t even be home.

_Must be because of the new uniforms._

Akaashi shook his head again, trying to get Kuroo’s voice out of it. He was met with more moans. Purrs of declarations of love for Bokuto. Akaashi feels the blood needed to complete the spreadsheet redirecting from his brain down to his cock.

_Damn that sexy voice._

Akaashi snaps the laptop shut and throws his reading glasses back down on the table. He leans back against the couch and rubs his temples with one hand.

_Wait. Sexy?_

Another moan reverberates into Akaashi’s apartment and with it, a sudden tightness of his pants, that renders Akaashi unable to even question himself anymore.

An especially loud moan echoes through the apartments and it quiets down for a bit.

_Good. Maybe they’re done already._

Akaashi winces at his own aching cock, fully erect and ready to go, yearning for the men he hears to touch it. Akaashi tries to will it away, but it’s still standing proudly minutes later. He hasn’t heard anymore sexual activities from next door so he unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.

He leans back against the couches and lazily strokes himself a few times. A little bit of precum dribbles out and he brushes his thumb across the slit.

“Mhm.” Akaashi bites his lip so his moan doesn’t escape.

_Wish I had a boyfriend to suck my dick._

Akaashi’s breathing starts to pick up as he envisions some no-name man staring up at him as he stroked Akaashi before running his tongue over his head of Akaashi’s dick. Akaashi shudders and suppresses another small moan.

He hears Bokuto saying Tetsu repeatedly and suddenly Akaashi’s mystery man turns into Bokuto’s boyfriend.

_At least it’s not Bokuto._

Akaashi strokes himself faster as he imagines Kuroo bobbing up and down on Akaashi’s dick while moaning. A reciprocating moan comes from next door. Akaashi’s free hand slides up his shirt and he lets his fingers rub against a nipple.

Another string of Bokuto groaning Kuroo’s name followed by Kuroo grunting Bokuto’s pulls Akaashi away from himself.

_Oh my dear god. Is. Is Kuroo fucking Bokuto?_

Akaashi stops moving. If he didn’t know better, he’d believe that his blood stopped flowing so he could hear better.

“God, Tetsu. I love it so much when you fuck me.” Bokuto lets out a loud moan.

_Dear sweet Jesus, Allah, Shiva, Buddha, Ghandi, Cthulhu, Zeus, Quetzalcoatl, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Xenu, Oprah, Mary, Joseph and the camel! What the ever-living fuck?_

As surprised as he is, Akaashi can’t help but to imagine it. He’d never thought Bokuto, the thick muscular Bokuto, would bottom during sex. He just always felt like a top to Akaashi. Not to mention, he’d always heard Bokuto top.

Another reverberating moan pulls Akaashi back from his irrelevant concerns. His neighbors were definitely fucking again and he was touching himself to it. He feels his dick yearn for stimulation, the heat of desire taking over him, and he strokes it a few more times.

_Maybe it’s okay if I just imagine the boyfriend and not Bokuto? That’s not so bad. Right?_

Eyes still closed, Akaashi grips himself a little tighter and strokes a little faster. Imagining he’s the one getting fucked by Tetsurou. Feeling the sensation in hic cock growing, Akaashi lets out a low moan.

_Hm. Being fucked requires something in my ass._

Akaashi gets up and walks to his bedroom, throwing clothes off as he walked. He grabs a vibrator and lube from his bedside drawer before plopping down on the bed. The moans come though louder here and Akaashi eagerly lubes the vibrator. Another loud moan propels Akaashi to bring the vibrator against his entrance. He rubbed against it as he envisioned his attractive neighbor leaning over him, poised to take him.

He hears Bokuto crying “Ahh! Yes!” from next door accompanied by pants from Kuroo and thrusts the vibrator in and turns it on. It’s one of those more expensive ones that has several options including authentic thrusting motions. Akaashi picks the thrusting option.

A small moan escapes Akaashi’s lips at the sensation and he arches his back as his hand darts to touch himself. “Ah. Oh god, yes.” He groans with one hand still over his mouth to muffle his voice.

The moans next door are reaching a peak. He can hear Bokuto moaning “Mhm. Yeah. Tetsu. That’s it. Mng.” followed by “Tetsu. Tetsu. Tetsu. Tetsu.”. Akaashi mentally repeats the same phrases in his head and pretends the thrusting in his ass is from Kuroo pounding him until he loses his mind. Kuroo lets out a loud groan as Akaashi’s thinking about it and it pushes him over edge.

On the cusp of orgasm Akaashi whines, “Tetsurou” and bucks his hips up into his hand, causing him to cum everywhere.

Eyes still closed, Akaashi strokes himself a few more times and pulls the vibrator out and turns it off. He tosses it on the floor, carelessly, and lays there panting.

When he finally opens his eyes, he is a broken man.

_I just masturbated to my neighbor. Again._

_I called his name._

Akaashi _really_ didn’t want to meet his neighbors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive Akaashi’s colorful religious blasphemies. He was taken aback. And, by taken aback, I mean the poor boy probably should’ve visited the emergency room after masturbating. (If the blasphemies super offend someone, I can change it. Or, *Price is Right voice* if you’d like me to, I can add your very own god. *fingerguns*)
> 
> My [ catitor ](https://oopsthisisyaoitoo.tumblr.com/post/173499726029/my-cat-editor-catitor-really-on-my-case-at) was really on top of my work at crunch time. -_-;


	5. Chapter 5

Thankfully, Akaashi’s neighbors are mostly quiet for the weeks after that. They still have sex numerous times a day. That didn’t change, despite Akaashi’s internal mixed protests for them to never have sex again within a one-hundred-mile radius of him and to just come over to his apartment so he can watch them have sex. They can’t hear his mental turmoil though, and continue to procreate and continue to do so in their own home. Akaashi still hides in the corner when he’s home and exposed to it. His noise cancelling headphones had already been used enough to justify their price. Weeks turn into months and before he knows it, it’s already been three months since his loud neighbors moved in. Three months and he’d still managed to avoid meeting his neighbors.

Not that it’d been that hard. They’d never come to introduce themselves, nor attempted to, at least to his knowledge, and he’d never made the effort to do so either. After the first initial week they’d been there, both started leaving early in the morning shortly after their morning run. Bokuto would show back up around lunch and eat or nap and then leave again until late. Kuroo would show up in the evening. Usually he’d stay in the rest of the night and start dinner for the two of them, the smell wafting over into Akaashi’s own apartment. Bokuto would be asleep soon after dinner while Kuroo could be heard up hours later shuffling around quietly and talking to his cat, Bagheera.

Or, at least, Akaashi assumed it was a cat. He’d hear meowing every now and then so he was pretty sure, but he’d never actually seen the cat. He didn’t even know if pets were allowed in the building. That aside, Kuroo frequently talked to Bagheera in a cutesy baby talk voice. Akaashi had to admit, it was kind of adorable the way Kuroo coddled the cat. Bokuto clearly wasn’t the only spoiled one in their home.

Weekends weren’t as habitual so Akaashi had to be on guard when he left his own apartment. Sometimes they’d be in and out all day, others they’d stay in all day. Sometimes they’d invite people over or have small parties. They never had people over on Sunday, though. Akaashi had frequently heard a cult-like chanting of “Bro time! Bro time!” on Sundays, so he assumed it was a dedicated bonding time of some sort. He tried to ignore it mostly. It was still cringeworthy that they called each other bro.

Akaashi almost had more difficulty avoiding the two outside the apartment than inside. He’d seen Kuroo at a nearby book store once. One week when he’d been at lunch with Konoha when Bokuto had strolled by. Akaashi had hastily snatched a menu and hid behind it, causing confusion from Konoha and the server since Akaashi has ordered the same thing every time for the last two years. Konoha griped the rest of lunch after learned he’d missed his chance to get an autograph from _The_ _Bokuto Koutarou_.

And that’s not to mention the numerous times Akaashi had almost run, quite literally, into the couple during his morning run. He’d been leaving slightly earlier so that he wouldn’t have to hear their morning sex and he’d be well into his run before they even got out to run. He thought it would save him from accidently running into them in the stairway. Didn’t save him from seeing them still. There wasn’t a park or anything like that nearby, so everyone tended to run the same less busy streets in the vicinity.

Still, it’d been months and Akaashi had managed to avoid officially meeting them and had managed to keep Kenma from showing up at his apartment unannounced, “accidently” knocking on his neighbor’s door. Miraculously. He knew it could only last so long, though. The universe hated him and it would only allow his momentary reprieve to last so long.

Kenma hounded Akaashi every time they’d had lunch together and sometimes sent random snarky insinuating texts about Akaashi’s neighbors, but had been too lazy to take action. Akaashi thought only Kenma would give him trouble about it, but Konoha kept pestering him about it too. Especially after the hiding behind the menu incident. He was probably still sour from missing out on his chance to meet Bokuto. He hadn’t been as gung-ho and shameless as Kenma had been, but every week they met, he had that sly foxy smile plastered over his face. Just like he did today.

“Meet your neighbors yet?” He purred as Akaashi sat down at the table with him. Akaashi had been late, as usual. People were really stupid today.

“You get married yet?” Akaashi cuts back.

“I will when you finally stop running away from perfectly good chances.”

“You’re not even gay. How would you know this is even a good chance?”

“Just because I’m not gay, it doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes.”

“Your straight man-crush is gross.”

“No. What’s gross is you slinking around in the shadows avoiding your neighbors when you could be forming a perfectly good wholesome adult bond with them.”

“Why does everyone assume that they’d just sleep with me? They’re clearly in a relationship with each other.”

“Hmm. Yeah, buut~ Bokuto is famous.”

Akaashi gives Konoha a blank look.

“Famous people get a free pass to sleep around a lot of the time.”

“You want me to be a groupie? Are you trying to live vicariously through me? That’s just sad. Go fuck him yourself if you’re so convinced they’re up for that.”

Konoha leans in and points to Akaashi aggressively. “I just fucking might if you keep up with that shit attitude. Then you’ll have to live with the sounds of me having a threesome with your neighbors stuck in your head.”

Shivers run through Akaashi.

_I need to move immediately._

**. . .**

Akaashi moved nervously and quietly around the kitchen as he prepared tea and snacks. Kenma was coming over for the first time since he’d learned of Akaashi’s less-than-bashful neighbors. It was Saturday and he was hoping they’d be out today, but of fucking course, they seemed satisfied to stay in all day. They’d fucked several times this morning already and been loud moving things around and possibly searching for things after that. Since then, they’d been excessively quiet. Too quiet for Akaashi to be comfortable with, but he hoped that the silence would hold out until after Kenma left. He really didn’t want to experience listening to his neighbor’s bang with his best friend in the room. That wasn’t the type of bonding experience he ever wanted to have.

_Maybe they fucked until they passed out and will sleep through the day. Could I get that lucky?_

Akaashi eyed his front door that he’d left cracked open and paused as he heard footsteps coming down the hall. They were soft and tentative, like someone sneaking around. Someone who didn’t live here. The steps sounded like the stopped just a few feet from his own door. He narrowed his eyes.

 _Kenma_!

Akaashi rushes to his door.

_Nononononononononononono!_

He swings the door open to find Kenma standing in front of his neighbor’s door, hand raised and posed to knock. Kenma flinches at hearing Akaashi come barging into the hallway. He got as far as giving Akaashi the side eye before Akaashi wraps his arms around Kenma’s chest and drags him from the hallway and into his apartment.

Inside, Akaashi releases a pouting Kenma and leans against the back of his door, panting from being so worked up. And possibly preventing Kenma from escaping. He still had that look in their eyes. He hadn’t given up. Not yet. He was plotting. Just biding his time while that brain of theirs worked up a new plan.

Knowing he can’t overpower Akaashi, Kenma huffs and turns to walk into the living room. “I didn’t know you were the dramatic type.”

_You fucking shit._

Making sure to control his tone before speaking, Akaashi slowly parted from protecting the door before responding. “What were you about to do?”

Kenma plops down on the couch and pulls his DS out. “Whatever do you mean? I wasn’t doing anything. I got lost is all.”

Akaashi gives him a hard stare and puts his hands on his hips, clearly unconvinced.

Kenma’s eyes flicker to Akaashi’s displeasure. “You know I wander off sometimes on accident. That’s how I met Shoyou, remember?”

“Bullshit.”

Kenma bites his lips and smashes a few buttons harder than necessary. “Fine. I was going to knock. What’s so bad about that? One of your friends accidently knocking on the wrong door. What’s the worst that could’ve happened?”

_I could’ve met my neighbors that’s what could’ve happened. That IS the absolute worst-case scenario._

Akaashi sighs before resigning himself to walking to the kitchen and making tea.

“Nothing. If it were another friend. Literally any other friend-“

“You only have the two and Konoha has a weird crush on Koutarou. At least I don’t want to fuck either of them.”

“That aside,” Akaashi sternly continues, “I can’t trust your mouth.”

Kenma’s eyes flicker up to Akaashi for a second and the corners of his mouth flick up briefly. “Hm. True.”

“So you admit it!” Akaashi yells across the kitchen and chunks a wet teabag at him.

. . .

Akaashi thought adults lived next to him with all the sex he heard. Not to mention he knew Bokuto was older than him. Public records and all. Not that he’d searched him online. Nope. That’d be creepy. He just knew that from volleyball stats. Yep. Volleyball.

Despite all the signs, Akaashi should’ve realized much earlier that there was nothing adult about those two idiots next door.

Sunday morning Akaashi is lazing on the couch in his underwear reading when he hears a couple of shrill voices singing at the top of their lungs causing him to throw his book across the room and give a small shriek.

“ARABIAN NIIIIIGHHTS! LIKE ARABIAN DAYYYYSSS!”

_What. The. Fuck._

Akaashi cringed as the next-door duo continued the song all the way through at the top of their lungs, no less. He stared at the wall after the song finished, wondering if they were going to do that for every song in Aladdin. Squinting at the wall in warning, Akaashi turned back to his book and continued reading.

Soon after he hears them belting out another song. Akaashi closes his book and rubs his temples in frustration.

_I’m not sure if this is better or worse than listening to them fuck._

Determined to finish his book and not have to leave and be in public, Akaashi grabs his headphones and continues reading.

He finishes his book with minimal theatrical interruptions with thanks to his headphones. It’s still only the afternoon and he’s got nothing planned for the day so he decides to recline on the couch and mindlessly browse the internet. He can still hear the TV next door blaring with what sounds like another Disney movie. There’s talking too; hushed whispers and giggling. Akaashi feels his face deadpanning.

_They’re not about to get it on while there’s a kid’s movie on, are they?_

The giggles are interrupted by both of them bursting out into a new song.

“Hup two three four. Keep it up, two three four”

Akaashi squints at the shared wall.

_What the fuck kind of song is that?_

Doing his best to ignore it, Akaashi grabs his phone and plays with it, hoping this movie didn’t have a lot of singing in it as well. He didn’t want to live wearing headphones. The singing ends shortly after and the giggling resumes.

_They are going to fuck to a kid’s movie. I can feel it._

“Hold the fuck up, Bo! I can’t suck your dick right now, my song is coming up!” Kuroo yells in excitement. Akaashi wouldn’t be surprised if the upstairs neighbors heard him. “Bagheera! Bagheera! Come here and sing with me!”

There’s a string of soft meowing in response.

_They’re idiots._

Kuroo takes a deep breath and sings on the top of his lungs. “LOOK FOR THE BARE NECESSITIES! THE SIMPLE BARE NECESSITIES!”

Akaashi pulls his phone out and goes to the camera. Making a deadpan face he records half of his face with the shared wall taking up the rest of the picture. He records his unimpressed face throughout the rest of the song.

When Kuroo’s finished screaming, his cat meows at him and Bokuto claps and swoons for him. “Oh! You’re so dreamy bro! Now can you suck my dick!”

“Tell me more about how dreamy I am and I’ll do it.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes and stops recording. He composes a text to Kenma.

[ **Akaashi** ]: [Video Attached]

[ **Akaashi** ]: You want me to bang those idiots

[ **Kenma** ]: I thought it’d be of them banging

[ **Kenma** ]: what a downgrade

[ **Kenma** ]: wait

[ **Kenma** ]: did I hear a cat?

[ **Akaashi** ]: apparently

[ **Kenma** ]: .

[ **Akaashi** ]: No

[ **Kenma** ]: you can’t stop me

[ **Kenma is not accepting messages at this time** ]

_God damn it._

**. . .**

Sunday, Akaashi mourns the loss of yet another plant killed by his own negligence. In order to help him get over his loss, he makes a large breakfast and treats himself to lazing on the couch again while reading another book. All the while, wearing his headphones because his neighbors were going at it like there was no tomorrow.

_It’s like they just discovered their dicks or something. This is ridiculous. Who can even have that much sex?_

He’d woken up to them banging. That wasn’t that unnatural. However, they’d bang, take a maybe thirty-minute break and then go right back to it. By noon, Akaashi had heard them fuck at least six times. After that, it got quiet and Bokuto’s snores could be heard drifting in through the wall.

When he smells something sweet baking next door combined with Bokuto’s snores, Akaashi removes his headphones assuming it’s safe at least until after they finish eating. There’s a soft hum coming from Kuroo and he talks back and forth to his cat that meows back at him.

 _Cute_.

Grateful for the silence, Akaashi goes back to his book. He’s reading a climatic part when there’s a soft knock on his door. Annoyed at being interrupted, he ignores it the first time.

_Probably somebody for them. I don’t have random visitors and it’s Sunday so it’s not the landlord._

There’s a pause and then another knock just slightly louder. Frowning, Akaashi puts his book on the arm of the couch and gets up, grateful he’s not lazing around in his underwear again today.

Akaashi pulls the door open to find Kuroo leaning on the door frame looking down at Akaashi with a smirk on his face.

_Fuck. I fucked up._

“Ohoho. You’re not a ghost.”

Akaashi glared back at Kuroo. He felt a light blush creep on his cheeks as his brain chose that exact moment to remind him that he’s masturbated to Kuroo and Bokuto twice now. Before Akaashi could respond though, Kuroo was speaking again.

“Hi neighbor.” He purred and then in a seductive tone, “Got any sugar?”. He pouted his lips out and looked at Akaashi with what he could only consider bedroom eyes.

Akaashi’s face contorted into a look of noticeable disgust.

_Is this a shitty porn?_

“I’m Kuroo, by the way. Your neighbor. Well. One of them. You must be Akaashi. The landlord told me your name. Never told me you were so handsome, though.” He flashed a smile and a wink at Akaashi.

Akaashi squinted at Kuroo.

_It is a shitty porn. I can’t believe people say things like that in real life. Does he not have any shame?_

Akaashi wrinkles his nose in disgust and starts to close the door without responding to Kuroo.

“Wait! I really do need sugar. Like sucrose, sugar. I’m making beignets for Bo and we’re out. I’m kinda running out of time to make them, and you’d save me a lot of trouble if I could borrow some. I can make you some later after Bo leaves.”

_Beignets?_

Akaashi halted his door slam. He was a sucker for food. Especially food he didn’t have to make. Plus, he had a soft spot for not helping people out with reasonable demands. With a sigh, he muttered “All right, come in. I have to find it”.

Kuroo gave a little cheer and followed Akaashi into his apartment. He waited in the living room while Akaashi peered into various cabinets looking for sugar. Typically, he didn’t use sugar. He only kept some for when he had guests that liked it in their tea.

“Thank you Akaashi. Bo has to leave in a few hours and I’m trying to surprise him.”

Not caring, Akaashi made a non-committal sound with his head in a lower cabinet.

“He plays volleyball professionally and he’s going to be gone for the next three weeks. He’s always crying about wanting something sweet to eat, so I thought this would be a nice treat for him.”

Backing out of one of the cabinets Akaashi responded, “Hm. That’s impressive, but should you really be making him beignets then?”

Kuroo laughed. “No, but I can’t really refuse him. He gets this pouty look and juts that lower lip out. I cave every time.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes and climbed on top of the counter to look in one of the high cabinets.

“You said three weeks? That’s a long time.”

_That’s a lot of quiet time for me._

“Yup! Three weeks. Maybe during that time, you and I can get acquainted?”

Akaashi throws a look over his shoulder to Kuroo who is now leaning against Akaashi’s couch looking through the book he’d left there. He gives another noncommittal hum as he scours through the cabinet.

“So is it just you here?” Kuroo tries, setting Akaashi’s book back where he found it.

“Yes.”

“No pets? Roommate?” Kuroo makes a very intentional pause and Akaashi can feel his shoulders creeping up to his ears before he speaks. “Boyfriend?”

_This fucker._

Akaashi finally finds the sugar and pulls it from the top cabinet. He moves to climb down from the cabinet, but wobbles and starts to fall back. He snaps his eyes shut, bracing for impact with the floor, but he hits something softer and more human feeling instead.

When he opens his eyes, Kuroo’s arms are wrapped around his torso and he’s holding Akaashi in air from behind while Akaashi’s feet are still mostly on the counter.

“Whoa! You okay?” Kuroo’s breath tickles the back of Akaashi’s neck and Akaashi has to bite his cheeks from moaning slightly at the sensation. Kuroo takes a step back pulling them further away from the counter so Akaashi can put his feet on the floor. Once grounded Kuroo lets go of him. Akaashi has to fight to not follow the warmth from Kuroo’s body that would satisfy how touch starved his is.

With a sigh, Akaashi turns to face him. Kuroo’s got a pained look on his face and is biting his lip. He anxiously looks over Akaashi as if he could have a puncture wound or be bleeding for some reason.  His golden-brown eyes are full of worry and giving a siren’s call to Akaashi. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” Akaashi holds out the sugar, hoping Kuroo would take it and leave already. He needs to get away from Kuroo before he realizes he’s attractive.

Kuroo takes the sugar with a small pout. “Good thing I was here!”

_You’re the reason why I was on the counter in the first place._

“Yes. That would’ve been painful.”

Kuroo gives a wide cheesy grin. “So, what’s your full name? The landlord only told me your family name.”

_Why do you need to know?_

“It’s Keiji. Akaashi Keiji.”

“Ohoho? Keiji? I like it. Well, Akaashi Keiji, I’m going to finish making these beignets before Bo gets-.” Kuroo pauses mid-thought. “Yeah. I’m going to go finish these. Would you like your share tonight or tomorrow?”

Akaashi’s eyes travel over Kuroo’s broad shoulders and his chest. Berating himself for checking Kuroo out, his eyes flicker back up to Kuroo’s, who is staring at him with an unwavering intensity that reminds Akaashi of Kenma.

“Tomorrow, if you don’t mind. I’m going out tonight.”

He didn’t have plans to go out, but he didn’t want to be in the apartment right now. Not after finally being forced to meet his neighbor.

Kuroo gives another grin. “Tomorrow, it is. I’ll come over about seven-ish.” He walks to the door and gives a wave to Akaashi. “See ya!”

Akaashi slowly follows to close the door and relock it. He bites his thumb as he walks back to the living room, searching for his abandoned phone, and sends a text to Kenma.

[ **Akaashi** ]: fml

[ **Kenma** }: it happened?

[ **Akaashi** ]: yes

[ **Akaashi** ]: one at least

[ **Kenma** ]: and?

[ **Akaashi** ]: he’s hot


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who read this before I changed it, this is gonna be VERY familiar to my original chapter 2. I just couldn’t bear to throw it out. I switch between reality and fantasy a bit. I didn’t want to make all the fantasy italics because it’d be hard to read so I just centered it. Cause Akaashi’s imagination is beautiful. Like poetry. *bites the inside of mouth to keep from laughing* If it’s distracting and you have a better suggestion, let me know.

When Akaashi finally deems it safe to return to his apartment without his neighbors hearing him, it’s already late. He creeps up the stairwell in attempt to be stealthy. Not that it works well since his footsteps are echoing. It’s all for naught though, since it appears that his neighbors aren’t even home. There’s no light shining from under the door and it’s silent aside from an unanswered meowing inside.

_Kuroo did say Bokuto was leaving earlier. Maybe they had to go to the airport?_

Akaashi shrugs it off as he enters his own apartment, eager to enjoy the precious silence he’d taken for granted before his neighbors moved in next door. Eager to fall asleep to silence instead of moaning.

As if afraid thinking about it will jinx it, Akaashi quickly undresses and crawls under the covers. With a content sigh at the silence and soft covers hugging his nude body, he closes his eyes in hopes for the most peaceful and non-guilt-ridden sleep he’s had in months.

His brain decided to be a monstrous traitor instead of shutting down though. Ten. Fifteen minutes pass and Akaashi finds his mind starting to wander.

It lands on Kuroo.

How warm and muscular he felt against Akaashi.

How his voice reverberates against the walls when he’s being pleasured.

Akaashi shakes his head at his thoughts and his growing member.

_Don’t. Don’t do this to me brain._

Instead of complying, like a brain should, it supplied more imagery for Akaashi, screaming “But what if?” at him.

_But what if?_

Kuroo was flirting with Akaashi earlier. That was a fact he couldn’t overlook. Kuroo was also sexy. That also couldn’t be overlooked.

A shiver runs down Akaashi’s spine as he remembers the feeling of Kuroo’s breath across Akaashi’s neck when he caught him, causing his cock to protest against the heavy sheets on top of him.

_But what if it happened differently?_

Akaashi sighs in defeat, hand snaking downward, and envisions himself back in the kitchen with Kuroo.

Standing back up, Akaashi holds the package of sugar out to Kuroo with what he hopes is a bored face. Kuroo reaches out, presumably to grab it, and strokes Akaashi’s hand and up his arm instead. He takes a step toward Akaashi and Akaashi nervously takes a step back, his back hitting the kitchen counter. Kuroo steps forward again, his hand still lightly dancing on Akaashi’s arm. The rational part of Akaashi knows he should push him back. That he’s clearly just trying to fuck with him (in more ways than one), but the light touch and sexual tension in the room are getting to him. At least, that’s the excuse he’ll use. Even in his fantasies. It’s not because Kuroo was handsome and because his dick was already classically conditioned by the sound of Kuroo’s voice. Nope. No way.

Kuroo leans in to kiss him. He hesitates as he nears Akaashi’s face, his eyes darting back and forth between Akaashi’s eyes and lips. Kuroo moves in closer, wrapping his arms around Akaashi and leaning in to kiss him. His lips are rough and taste somewhat sweet probably from whatever ingredients he’d been using to cook with. Surprised, Akaashi drops the sugar again. More surprisingly, he doesn’t hate it.

Akaashi bites his lip in thought. _Of course, I don’t hate it. It’s my own fantasy._

Kuroo opens his mouth and on reflex Akaashi opens his too. Kuroo’s tongue darts into his mouth and Akaashi’s hands wrap around Kuroo’s body. Kuroo grinds against Akaashi, causing him to let out a constrained moan.

“Mm. You’re so pretty when you do that. I’d like to see what other pretty noises I can get you to make.” Kuroo purred into Akaashi’s ear as he kissed down Akaashi’s neck.

Akaashi reached up and pulled Kuroo down to kiss him. Immediately, Kuroo’s hands were on Akaashi’s body exploring and his hips grinding on him. Kuroo picks him up by the ass and carries Akaashi to the couch. He sets Akaashi on his lap and runs his hands down Akaashi’s torso and up into his shirt, pulling it off as he goes. Akaashi’s shirt goes across the room and before it lands, Kuroo’s mouth is on him biting and licking his chest. Akaashi grinds on Kuroo’s lap and runs his hands through his messy hair.

Kuroo flings off his own shirt and picks Akaashi up again, this time laying him on the couch and hovering over him. Kuroo kisses down Akaashi’s chest and down to his erection clearly visible in his sweatpants. Kuroo mouths over it and Akaashi gives a moan as he watches him. Still not removing his pants, Kuroo runs one hand over Akaashi’s clothed erection and puts his mouth over the clothing, with a grin on his face. Akaashi knows he’s teasing him and shoots him an annoyed look, but doesn’t say anything. There’s no way he was going to beg.

Kuroo takes his mouth off of him and while stroking him still, he grins and purrs “Can I fuck you?”.

Akaashi’s eyes go wide for a moment and he nods instantly.

Kuroo chuckles. “Good. Go get the stuff. I want to fuck you in here.”

Confused, but not complaining, Akaashi goes to his bedroom for lube and a condom. When he comes back Kuroo is in his underwear sitting on the couch. He pats his lap indicating that’s where he wanted Akaashi and Akaashi quickly obliges. Kuroo’s instantly kissing him again and running his hands all over Akaashi. He gropes Akaashi’s ass and grinds him on his dick. Kuroo’s got a predatory look on his face and Akaashi just wants him to touch his dick.

“I like things a bit kinky.” Kuroo murmurs as he slowly glides his tongue up Akaashi’s nipple. Akaashi shoots him a look of concern. “Don’t worry. Not too kinky. I just want to tie up your hands. Not too tight. You’ll be able to get out of it easy-peasy.”

Akaashi licks his lips in anticipation. After only having his hands for so long, orgasming without them sounded to die for. He nods with a simple “Okay” for approval.

Kuroo pulls his belt from where it’d been resting at the top of the couch and ties Akaashi’s wrists together. Since it was a belt and not rope, Akaashi had not fear of being able to get out of it if needed.

Kuroo kissed him again and gave that suspicious grin. “Alright. Time to get you prepped.”

He pulled Akaashi up by the belt and pushed him to his knees with his chest and arms draped over the coffee table. It felt suspiciously familiar, but he couldn’t think with his erection pounding in his sweatpants. Kuroo pressed his still clothed erection against Akaashi’s ass and grinded against him before kissing down his spine and slowly pulled Akaashi’s pants down to his knees.

Kuroo kept kissing down Akaashi’s back. He spread Akaashi’s cheeks with his hand and lazily stroked his tongue across Akaashi’s entrance. Akaashi moaned and bucked his hips forward immediately. He could hear Kuroo chuckle from behind him. Kuroo wrapped one arm around Akaashi’s waist so he couldn’t get away from him and pressed his tongue against his hole again. Akaashi went to move, but Kuroo held him firmly in place. Kuroo ran his tongue all over, teasing now, before pulling back. He pressed one finger in, which went in easily.

“Mm. You like me that much?” Kuroo moaned.

Akaashi could feel a blush spreading across his face and down to his chest at the assertion. He opened his mouth to protest, but Kuroo’s mouth was back on his hole, now eagerly licking. Akaashi gave out a whimper of pleasure. Hearing it, Kuroo stuck his tongue inside and brushed his hand across Akaashi’s dick. Akaashi’s hips tried to jolt forward. His dick had been largely untouched and he was yearning for release.

Kuroo’s mouth disappeared and Akaashi hoped it would be replaced by Kuroo’s dick, but he felt fingers instead. Kuroo slid two fingers in and out of him easily. Kuroo shifted around a little while fingering Akaashi. He removed his fingers shortly after and Akaashi could hear the sound of the condom wrapper opening and the bottle of the lube clicking open. Akaashi held his breath in anticipation for a hard dick to ram into him, but was met with Kuroo’s mouth again. Kuroo moaned into Akaashi’s ass while he stroked himself, spreading lube over his dick. Akaashi whined in protest, but Kuroo still didn’t give in. He alternated from licking and fingering Akaashi now, making sure to ever so lightly brush his prostate, making Akaashi moan and buck forward. Akaashi’s legs were trembling in arousal and he was pretty sure there was a pool of precum on the floor by this point. He could feel Kuroo grinning behind him.

Kuroo shifted, removing both his hands and mouth from Akaashi’s hole. Kuroo place his hands on Akaashi’s ass and spread his cheeks. His dick pressed against Akaashi and Akaashi pushed his hips back, pushing Kuroo’s dick into him. Finally having a real dick in him, Akaashi let out a loud desperate moan and tried to back further up. Kuroo held him in place by his hips and chuckled.

“Eager?” he mused.

Akaashi refused to respond and hoped that Kuroo would shut up and fuck him already. Kuroo pressed in all the way and slowly pulled back out. He did this a few more times, agonizingly slow and soft. Akaashi panted against the table. He wanted more. He needed more.

As if Kuroo were reading his mind, he slammed into Akaashi hard a few times, causing Akaashi to cry out in pleasure, almost at the point of orgasm from that alone. Hands still on his hips, Kuroo pulled Akaashi’s hips backward as he thrusted forward. Akaashi moaned on the table between pants, getting lost in pleasure. He still wanted more.

“Touch me.” He whined, his face pressed firmly against the table, a small pool of drool forming from where he’d been moaning into it.

Obligingly, one of Kuroo’s hands came off of Akaashi’s hips and placed it firmly around his dick. His hips stilled and his hand didn’t move, though. Confused, Akaashi shot a confused look back at Kuroo. He could see that shit eating grin with devious eyes toying with him. Kuroo rolled his hips forward and with his free hand, pulled Akaashi up by the belt that he’d tied him by. Akaashi moaned from the mixed sensations of the dick in his ass, Kuroo’s hand moving around his cock, and from being manhandled. Kuroo ran his teeth along Akaashi’s ear.

“I want you to use me like you do your toys when you listen to me and Bo fuck. I want you to fuck yourself on me.” He murmured into Akaashi’s ear, followed by a soft bite. He laid Akaashi back down on the table and pulled his dick so that it was almost out of Akaashi. Kuroo tiled his hips back a little so Akaashi would have to go really far to get his entire dick. By instinct, Akaashi backed his hips up a little, wanting it to stay in his ass. His ass went back, Kuroo’s dick went in further, and Akaashi’s dick slid in Kuroo’s hand. He hissed in pleasure from the sensation. He started to go back further, but caught himself.

_Who the hell does he think he is? Some sort of sex god?_

Akaashi seethed for a moment. Debating on whether it was worth it to submit or not. Kuroo, being the kind person he is, thrust into Akaashi and stroked him once to help him decide. Akaashi bit his lip in a bit of a pout, and slowly rolled his hips back to Kuroo. He knows Kuroo is giving him that shit eating grin again, but he’s too lost in pleasure to care. He pushes back into Kuroo slowly a couple more times before picking up the pace. Kuroo adjusted his hand position and grip to accommodate for movement. Soon, Akaashi is riding Kuroo’s dick steadily. Forgetting it’s that asshole Kuroo’s dick he’s on, he moans loudly in pleasure. He slams down harder against the dick in his ass, getting close to climaxing.

He hears a groan from behind him. Kuroo’s free hand is at his hip again. Kuroo tilted his hips in forward, allowing him his full length, and slammed against Akaashi’s ass as Akaashi was moving backward. The two both moan simultaneously. Kuroo’s grip tightens on Akaashi’s hip and he fucks into him hard as Akaashi keeps rocking his hips onto Kuroo’s dick. The sound of their skin slapping together echoes in the apartment.

Kuroo thrusts into Akaashi and hits his prostate. Akaashi moans and presses back on to Kuroo immediately. Kuroo feverishly presses into Akaashi again, hitting the same spot. Akaashi’s in a daze now. He mindlessly thrusts his hips into Kuroo’s now. Kuroo pounds harder, making sure to hit his prostate, and jerks him faster. Akaashi is a ceaseless stream of moans by this point. Kuroo is grunting behind him and it sends Akaashi over the edge. He’s coming into Kuroo’s hands and crying out loudly. Kuroo fucks and strokes him gently through his orgasm.

In his bed, Akaashi strokes rapidly in his own orgasm, panting and biting the pillow to muffle his louder than his usual whisper of a moan.

“God! Tetsurou, yes!” He lets out a final moan and spills into his hand. Panting for breath, Akaashi rides the orgasm waves to finish his fantasy.

When Akaashi’s hips still, Kuroo removes his cum stained hand and Akaashi can hear him licking his fingers.

“Mmm. Now this is the sugar I came here for.” He purred as he slowly continued to lick the cum off his hand. Finished he leans forward and kisses Akaashi deeply before untying him.

Akaashi drifts off in a peaceful slumber with the hushed sound of a TV on nearby, forgetting he'd have to meet his neighbor again tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of substance? In this fic? What the hell is this?
> 
> Also. This thing hit 200 kudos? Thank you! I’m not worthy!

Akaashi almost forgets about Kuroo’s existence. Almost. At least until his groggy sleep-filled brain clears and he comes to full consciousness. Yesterday’s events immediately course through his mind causing his stomach to lurch and cold anxiety chills to spread through his body making him do a full-body cringe under the covers.

_I should’ve moved. I should’ve moved. He’s too damn hot._

Akaashi’s traitor of a brain chooses that moment to replay their entire interaction on loop from that moment for Akaashi to overanalyze and ruminate over until he finally forced himself to get out of bed for his morning run. Running would help him escape his thoughts. If it didn’t, he’d just have to keep running until he hit the sea, then hop on a boat, maybe, and then keep running. His English was pretty good and he knew the basics of Mandarin Chinese. He could go almost anywhere with that, right? Right?

Sluggishly, he gets ready and stumbles to the front door. As he opens it, he hears a loud yawn and keys jingling. Kuroo’s outside his door, mid yawn and hair sticking every which way more than usual, locking the door to his apartment.

_Why the hell is he up already?_

Akaashi’s eyes widen as Kuroo sleepily turns to him. “G’morning.” His voice is still low and unused this morning, sending a slight tingle throughout Akaashi’s body. Kuroo eyes Akaashi and gives a soft smile before continuing. “Going out for a run? Wanna go together?”

Akaashi’s eyes narrow as Kuroo cocks his head slightly back and to the side smirking.

_This devious fuck ambushed me._

Akaashi internally groans and tries not to let his eyes wander over Kuroo’s tight fitting shirt. He doesn’t have an athlete build like Bokuto, but he does have a broad chest and fit arms that are alluring. He’s carrying a little bit of fluff around the middle, probably from all the junk food he claims to eat just so Bokuto won’t, but Akaashi finds it adorable on him. Very pinchable.

_Shut up brain. You’re a dirty damn traitor and if you weren’t a necessity to live, I would’ve done you in long ago._

“Good morning, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi remembers to human and turns to close and lock his own door before he gets busted ogling his very much not single neighbor. If there was ever an appropriate time to remember he’s heard Kuroo and Bokuto having sex, it was now. “Sure.”

Kuroo gives a big grin that goes all the way to his eyes. “Great!”

Akaashi only offers a hum in response. They walk to the stairwell and start slowly shuffling down, each suppressing yawns as they descend, and Akaashi attempting to catch glimpses of Kuroo from the corner of his eyes.

“Um.” Akaashi clears his throat awkwardly. “You’re up early today.”

Kuroo interlaces his hands behind his head. “Hm? Same time, just out earlier since Bo’s not here.”

_Thanks for reminding me why I leave even earlier now._

“Gonna try to get some extra studying done this morning.”

“You’re a student?” Akaashi pauses on the landing to look at Kuroo. He doesn’t look old, per say, but there’s no way he’s younger than Akaashi. Japanese schools don’t usually accept older students.

Kuroo gives another wide grin, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes this time, like it’s not entirely earnest, or he’s not entirely enthused about it, and puffs out his chest. “Yup! Grad student, to be precise!”

“Oh.” Akaashi blinks at Kuroo a couple of times, remembering the idiotic conversations he’s overhead the last few months, the incessant use of the word bro, and Kuroo’s overenthusiastic rendition of “Bare Necessities” he was tortured with yesterday. “Impressive.”

Kuroo cackles so hard he has to clutch his stomach. Akaashi pouts before turning and continuing down the stairwell.

“Sorry!” Kuroo jogs to catch back up, still trying to catch his breath. “Your stunned reaction was just priceless, though!” He gives another final tee-hee. “That’s the usual reaction, though. I don’t quite fit the scholarly mold, I know.” He lets out another good-humored laugh.

Akaashi refrains from agreeing. “What are you studying?”

_Probably something sports related. Or maybe visual arts._

“Biochemical engineering.” Kuroo chirps back smugly.

Akaashi stops mid-step on the stairs and whips his head toward Kuroo in surprise. Kuroo stares back at him, smug smile stretching further each second Akaashi is left gaping, daring Akaashi to challenge his declaration.

“O-oh.” Akaashi turns back to the stairs and remembers feet go on the ground. “That must be very stressful.”

“What,” Kuroo cocks his head innocently. Or in an attempt to be innocent. Akaashi isn’t sure Kuroo has a single innocent bone in his body. “like biochemical engineering is hard?”

_Is that a damn Legally Blonde reference?_

Akaashi narrows his eyes as he pushes open the door to the building, choosing to ignore Kuroo’s question and pull his legs back to stretch his hamstrings. Instead, he asks, “Do you have a particular route you like to take?”. He already knows the answer. He keeps track of where he sees Kuroo and Bokuto run in the morning so he can avoid them. Lately they’ve been running a few blocks west, turning at the bakery, and presumably finishing the loop back to the apartment. At least that’s what Akaashi assumed by where he caught glimpses of them as he was on his own run.

“I’m the one joining you, so anything you want to do is fine. I’ll follow you wherever you go.” Kuroo grins and winks.

Akaashi tries his best not to roll his eyes and scoff. “Alright.”

Akaashi takes off in the opposite direction of his usual route just in case Kuroo decides to start ambushing him on his morning runs. The streets are still quiet with the exception of an occasional car and early morning worker making their way to their respective destinations. The only sound Akaashi is aware of is Kuroo’s steady footsteps behind him. Akaashi’s thankful Kuroo doesn’t try to talk to him during their run and even forgets about him during part of it, but he slowly fades back into consciousness as they come to a final stop outside the apartment building after roughly a thirty-minute run.

They stand off to the side of the entry, huffing for breath and wiping the sweat from the faces.

“Man. I need to start running with you instead. Bo tries to kill me when I run with him. It’s like he forgets that I’m not an athlete.” Kuroo groans in-between gasps for air. “That maniac never runs out of energy either.”

_I’d rather you not._

Breath somewhat caught, they wander into the building ascending the stairs as silently as possible.

“What about you? You’re pretty fit. Play any sports?” Kuroo presses.

“I played volleyball years ago, but now I mostly do recreational stuff like hiking and indoor rock climbing.”

“ _You like volleyball_?” Kuroo questions with an annoying tone full on insinuation and smugness. It’s the same kind of voice kids used in elementary school when they’d tease each other about “ _I know who has a crush on you~”._

Akaashi lets out an exasperated sigh. “I do and it hasn’t escaped my notice that your-“ _Boyfriend? Husband? Bro? Friend?_ “-roommate is one of Japan’s national players, Bokuto Koutarou.”.

Kuroo lets out a little squawk and misses a step. He quickly corrects himself he catches back up to Akaashi. “You knew that? And you haven’t tried to speak with him once in the last, what, four months?”

“Hm.” Akaashi bites his lip, unsure what a good answer would be. He never intended to meet his neighbors so he never put effort into formulating an excuse as to why he hadn’t. “I don’t really have any interest in meeting my neighbors nor did I think either of you would appreciate the intrusion.”

“Haaa! Bo loves everyone. He’ll be pumped to know you know him. If you tell him you played volleyball he’ll demand you play a game with him, though, so fair warning.”

Akaashi quirked an eyebrow. “Why would a pro player want to play with just anyone?”

They reach the landing for their floor and Kuroo places a hand on Akaashi’s shoulder. He faces Akaashi and gives a frighteningly serious face. “He’s got volleyballs for brains”.

“Pfft.” Akaashi quickly covers his mouth to hide his laugh.

Kuroo gives a smug grin. “Aha! I knew I could get you to laugh.” They’ve crossed the hall and come to a stop outside Kuroo’s door since it’s first. “He just loves volleyball that much though. Been that way since he was a kid.”

“That explains why he’s so good.” Akaashi gives a soft smile. Bokuto is one of his favorite players, especially when he’s in rare form. He often reminds Akaashi of a human highlight reel in the games where he gives it his all. The more difficult the game, the more he shined.

“Uh-oh!” Kuroo gives a mischievous grin. “Don’t tell him that. It goes to his head. But,“ Kuroo takes his keys from his pocket. “I need to get going. I’ll see you at seven with the beignets I promised!”

Akaashi’s stomach gave a low growl at the sound of food causing Kuroo to chuckle and Akaashi to blush.

“Glad to know you’re looking forward to them. I don’t mean to boast, but I’m a good baker. You won’t be disappointed! It’ll be the perfect dessert.”

_Dessert. Dinner. Seven pm. Bokuto’s away. Kuroo’s alone._

Unsure if he even wanted more or less time with Kuroo, Akaashi’s brain started spinning possible scenarios for this evening. Before he could stop himself, he blurts out, “Why don’t you come over for dinner too?”.

Kuroo stares back at him with wide eyes and his smile slowly slipping off his face.

_Fucking shit Keiji._

“I mean.” Akaashi’s brain searches for words. Words that would make this less awkward. Not that he could really trust words that came out of his mouth since they’re what got him into this situation. “It’s the least I could do since you’re treating me to dessert. A-and it’d just be bothersome for you to cook only for yourself when you’re accustomed to cooking for two, right?” Akaashi attempts to train his face so that he looks bored.

Kuroo’s grin returns, almost catlike now. “That sounds great. It’s a date then. I’ll see you at seven.”

_Date?_

“Right. Seven.” Akaashi returns flatly and slips in his apartment before a blush can creep up on his cheeks and he loses his composure completely.

_Oh god. What did I just do?_

**. . .**

To say that Akaashi’s day was productive would have been a complete and utter bold-faced lie that a two-year-old wouldn’t have believed. Instead of concentrating on his work, he spent the day pondering the possible implications of the word “date” and trying to produce a dinner plan that would astound and captivate even the pickiest of food critics.

Not that he wanted to astound and captivate Kuroo. Kuroo already had a partner. That would be immoral of Akaashi to try to woo him. He just-

What did he just? Kuroo was attractive, but he was with Bokuto. Akaashi couldn’t impede on that. He wasn’t a homewrecker. And even if he was, he was smart enough to wreck a home that wasn’t right next door to his own home. That would be a death wish no matter how kind and passive a person could be. Besides, if Akaashi ever pissed off Bokuto, he was pretty sure Bokuto could squeeze the life out of him like a lemon. Not that part of him wouldn’t enjoy that. Those biceps would dive a man to commit crimes just to get a chance to lick them.

Bokuto aside, there was Kuroo. Kuroo who was dating Bokuto and couldn’t see Akaashi no matter how sexually suggestive those bedroom eyes are. They’d be neighbors. Maybe friends. Eventually. Akaashi just wanted to impress Kuroo so they could become better acquainted and then maybe friends. It’s not his fault that Kuroo just so happens to be a delicious piece of real estate. Owned real estate, but Akaashi could still enjoy the architecture from the road as long as he didn’t step foot on the property or stare too hard when the owner was around.

_Fuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk._

Akaashi cradled his head in his hands.

_I’m a homewrecker. I’m scum. What is wrong with me?_

Defeated, Akaashi decided to forgo attempting to do work and head to the supermarket. Maybe being in public could cure his impure thoughts.

**. . .**

Akaashi’s frantically finishing dinner when he hears a knock just before seven.

_Dear lord. This is a mistake. Why did I invite him over? I don’t even like people._

He wipes his hands on a kitchen towels and goes to open the door. Kuroo’s leaning on it against the doorframe again attempting to give bedroom eyes. Akaashi quickly scans for his delicious and hard-earned dessert, but all he sees is a bag of ingredients. Frowning, he goes to shut the door in Kuroo’s face again.

“Hey!” Kuroo whines. “Since you’re making dinner, I brought the ingredients so I can make them fresh after.”

Akaashi opens the door slightly and peeks out at Kuroo.

“Doesn’t fresh sound good~?” Kuroo hums a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. “They’ll be all warm and I’ll even makes some chocolate sauce with them. You’ll be in a food coma for days.”

Akaashi sighs and reopens the door for Kuroo, who gives a wide grin and quickly enters before Akaashi can have time to rethink the situation. Akaashi calmly shuts the door and returns to the kitchen so he can be as far away as possible from that cat-like smirk that makes him want to simultaneously push Kuroo down the stairs and feel what his lips taste like.

“So food is really the way to a man’s heart, huh?” Kuroo smirks as he strides into the kitchen to set his bag of ingredients down and fish out some milk and eggs to go back in the fridge.

“Maybe for some, but unfortunately for you, I have standards.” Akaashi deadpans back before tasting the miso soup.

Kuroo places his hand over his heart and offers an offended look. “Ouch! I’d cry if you weren’t already winning my heart by cooking for me.”

“You can keep it.” Akaashi shoots back, making sure to keep himself busy and his lips tight and not giving a hint of a smile.

Kuroo makes his way over to the couch and sprawls out along it. He rests his head on the arm rest while observing Akaashi. “You’re kinda mean for a stranger.”

Akaashi turns off the stove and turns to him, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re pretty comfortable for a stranger.”

“Aw. But I’m not a stranger anymore! You’ve loaned me things, we’ve spent time exercising together, and now you’re making me dinner. The only way we could get closer is if we went down to the bathhouse and bathed together.” Kuroo’s grin widens to a cat-like smirk. “you know, do some old-fashioned naked bonding. Or we could do it here. But I feel like traditionally it should be in a large open air bath.”

Akaashi’s mind flickers to an image of him and Kuroo sharing a moment in the water before he deadpans. “That’s not happening.”

Kuroo doesn’t even look phased by the rejection, if anything, he smiles wider. “What’s wrong? We’re both guys. Or do you have something to hide?” He gives a wink and gazes down at Akaashi’s crotch.

“How do you not have sexual harassment charges?”

Kuroo lets out a chuckle. “Because I know who I can tease and who I can’t.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup! With you, I can get away just about with anything. You might try to murder me, but you won’t press charges or do anything else like that.”

_Go big or go home, I guess._

“Murder is better than charges?” Akaashi quirks his eyebrow again.

Kuroo shrugs. “Less hassle.”

“Huh.” Akaashi hums. Kuroo is strange. Not entirely an uncomfortable strange, but different, nonetheless. “Dinner’s ready.”

Kuroo lets out a little cheer before jumping off the couch and walking back over to the kitchen. “I’m so excited. I haven’t had anyone cook for me in ages and it smells great!” He grins and vibrates a little in place in his excitement.

Akaashi covers his mouth with a fist and tries to make a small laugh sound like a cough. “It’s nothing special. Just barbequed eel, rice, soup, salad, and some gyoza.”

Kuroo perks up at the mention of eel and Akaashi can almost see cat ears on him standing up in excitement.

“You. Made. Me. Eel?” Kuroo mouths and looks over to Akaashi with wide eyes and a toothy smile.

“Yes?” Akaashi bites his lip, uncertain if he’s made some sort of mistake.

“I fucking love you!” Kuroo grabs Akaashi in a hug and squeezes him closely. Akaashi stiffens against the sudden contact, but soon finds himself melting against Kuroo and closes his eyes in the embrace. Too soon, Kuroo is releasing him. “I love anything from the ocean, but it’s been so long since I’ve had homemade eel.”

They sit at the kitchen table where Akaashi had placed their meals. Kuroo lights up getting to look at his precious eel and immediately takes pictures of his meal. He claps his hands once and mutters “Itadakimasu” before grabbing his chopsticks and grabbing a piece of eel. He chews slowly and closes his eyes, making a humming sound the whole while.

Akaashi covers his mouth again as he hides a laugh.

_He’s just like a cat._

“Akaashi, I think I really love you. You’ve won my heart with just one bite.” Kuroo wipes a fake tear from his eyes. “We’ll have a summer wedding and our honeymoon will be in Venice.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes and finishes chewing the food in his mouth. “Your love isn’t reciprocated.”

“Not yet.” Kuroo gives a grin. “I haven’t made dessert. Wait until then! You’ll want to go out ring shopping tonight.”

“I hardly doubt food could make me fall in love with a man.”

Kuroo stiffens slightly in his seat but plasters a fake smile on his face that makes Akaashi’s heart race uncomfortably. “Is there something wrong with a man loving another man?”

Akaashi gives a soft smile, interlaces his fingers, and rests his chin on them. “Let me rephrase that, Kuroo-san. Food is not the way to win feelings of love.” Akaashi pauses and Kuroo takes a sips of water. “However, if you fear that I disapprove of your and Bokuto-san’s relationship, then you have nothing to worry about as I’m gay as well.”

Akaashi calmly takes another bite of food, with an innocent face, while Kuroo does a spit take.

“W-what are you talking about?” Kuroo coughs and sputters out. “We’re not-“

Akaashi swallows before locking eyes with Kuroo. “The wall here are thin, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo’s eyebrow’s raise to his hairline and there’s a small smirk on his lips, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even appear to be all that surprised by Akaashi acknowledging he’s heard them having sex. He looks more surprised that Akaashi mentioned it, than anything. Slowly, Kuroo’s eyebrows return to their usual position and his smirk widens just a bit.

“That they are. That they are.” He gives Akaashi a half-lidded glance before returning to his meal.

Memories of last night flood back to Akaashi and he chokes on his soup.

_Dammit._

Dinner finishes uneventfully. Kuroo does most of the talking while Akashi listens and asks questions. Being around Kuroo isn’t as awkward as Akaashi thought it would be and, surprisingly, it isn’t all sexual innuendo’s and bro jokes. If it had been, Akaashi may have forgone the beignets.

Kuroo forces Akaashi out of the kitchen so he can do dishes and prepare beignets. Akaashi relents because he really doesn’t enjoy doing dishes. It may or may not have also given him a chance to observe Kuroo without Kuroo knowing. Observation turns out to be a fruitful decision. Aside from being able to view Kuroo’s handsome frame, it was entertaining to watch him hum and dance to himself while he was in the kitchen. Akaashi just grinned as he watched and contemplated if he should record it.

He’s almost dozing on the couch when he hears a plate being set down in front of him. He peeks one eye open to see several powdered beignets and a cup of promised chocolate sauce sitting there.

“Viola!” Kuroo chimes before plopping down beside Akaashi closer than necessary.

A small smile snakes its way onto Akaashi’s face. The beignets look picture perfect and he’s sad he’s going to have to disturb Kuroo’s masterpiece. Beside him, he can feel Kuroo squirming in anticipation for Akaashi to taste them.

“These look amazing, Kuroo-san. Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and eat one!” Kuroo waves Akaashi’s politeness away.

Akaashi tuts at him, but reaches for a beignet anyway, dips it in the chocolate sauce and shoves the whole thing in his mouth. His eyes close on impact and he lets out a small moan out as he chews. He’s unintentionally smiling in-between chews.

By the time he finishes the first one, Kuroo is about to explode in anticipation beside him. “Well? Better than sex right?” he blurts out.

Akaashi gives a small snort. “Better than sex.” He nods and reaches for another.

**. . .**

Kuroo’s up the next morning waiting for Akaashi to go run. He gives a wave and walks over to Akaashi. It reminds him of an excited puppy.

“Mornin’. Mind if I run with you again?” Kuroo groggily asks before giving a soft sleepy smile.

Akaashi gives a soft “Sure” before locking his door and heading downstairs with Kuroo.

Their run is silent and Kuroo doesn’t talk much before or after the run. He excuses himself soon after they finish and leaves his apartment directly after a shower.

Akaashi is hyper-aware of this and frowns at his breakfast, wondering if he’d done something to upset Kuroo or crossed a line somewhere. Not that he should worry. Kuroo seemed fine before their run. Maybe a little tired, but that’s not something out of the normal realm of human behavior. Why does he even care anyway? Kuroo is just a neighbor. And not even a close neighbor at that. Kuroo’s moods really aren’t any of his business.

But why does he keep thinking about it then? Why is he so worried he did something wrong? That Kuroo won’t be friendly to him anymore. That they won’t run together anymore.

Akaashi runs his hands through his hair in frustration as he stares at the spreadsheet on his computer. Work was not coming easy for him today. Too many thoughts and possibilities where running through his mind.

_I just need a nap. Napping will help. Sleep makes everything better._

Akaashi looks back at his computer with dead eyes.

_Yeah. Nap. Maybe work after so I won’t be behind._

**. . .**

Akaashi’s up from his nap and working on finishing his work for the day when he hears Kuroo come in a little after six. His keys clatter on the table and then there’s a string of meows followed by Kuroo cooing. Akaashi gives a soft smile but feels a tug on his own heart. A yearning for that sort of domestic life with a partner. Someone to come home to, or rather, someone to come home to him. Someone to go out on dates with. Someone to share sweet caresses and tender moments with.

Loneliness is creeping up on Akaashi and his eyes dart back to the clock. He hadn’t eaten yet and it was doubtful Kuroo had. He had plenty of food and could whip them up something quick-

_But will he be bothered by it? Or would he want to have dinner with me? Would he think it’s weird? That I’m crossing lines?_

Akaashi frowns as he continues to stare at the clock, watching the minutes pass by as his thoughts run wild in indecision. Fifteen minutes pass and he finds himself still immobile staring at the time slipping by.

_It’s a no no matter what if I don’t ask, I guess. No harm in asking and getting the same answer._

Akaashi shakes his head back and forth hard before standing up and brushing off the nonexistent whatever he felt needed to be removed. He goes over to his fridge to double check that he has food, even though he knows it’s stupid to do. The fridge is full, so he looks around his apartment checking to see if anything is out of place. As usual, it’s pristine. The only thing out of place is the laptop and cushion he’d just been using. Sighing, with nothing more to procrastinate with, he starts walking to the door. He’s about five feet away when he hears a knock.

Face contorting in confusion, he goes to open the door. Kuroo’s there, leaning with his shoulder on the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. He’s looking at the ground and Akaashi can’t help but feel that he’s down about something.

“Good evening, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo lifts his head to look at Akaashi, still not looking very happy. “H-hey.” He scratches the back of his head, repockets his hand, and looks back to the floor.

Akaashi quirks an eyebrow. He may have only spent a few hours with Kuroo, but this is weird behavior for him. It’d be weird behavior for anyone to knock on someone’s door and then not say anything.

Kuroo doesn’t speak more, so Akaashi decides maybe he needs a push so they won’t continue to awkwardly stand in his doorway not speaking. “I was just about to come see you.” Kuroo flinches a little at that, eyes still on the floor, but doesn’t move to speak. “Did. Did you want to have dinner together again tonight?”

Kuroo’s head snaps up and a grin spreads across his face. “Really?”

Akaashi hums. “Yes, really. Come in.” He moves to the side so Kuroo can enter.

Kuroo grins wider and starts to move forward, but then stops and chews on his lip. “Um.”

“Yes?”

“Ah. It’s stupid, but I have a small request.” Kuroo removes his hands from his pocket and gives an uncomfortable smile. “Since Bokuto’s gone and I’m so busy Bagheera, my cat, is home alone almost all day. I’d feel bad about leaving her there alone.  If it’s not too much trouble can we go to my apartment?”

 _Cute_.

“Hm. Why don’t you bring her over here? That way we won’t have to move groceries over and I won’t have to learn your kitchen.”

“Are you sure about that? She’ll shed and climb on everything.”

“That’s not a problem.”

“She’ll eat your plants.”

“That’s probably a more benevolent death than me forgetting to water them. I don’t mind. Really.”

Kuroo gives a small squeal and wraps Akaashi in a tight hug. Akaashi barely has time to recognize what happened before Kuroo is in his apartment calling for his cat. Akaashi steps back in his apartment, leaving the door open a crack for Kuroo. He shakes his head hard as he walks to the kitchen to start dinner.

_Just think about Kuroo and Bokuto having sex so you won’t flirt with Kuroo._

Memories of moans and Akaashi’s memory starts working overtime. Blood starts moving to his crotch and he slaps himself on the forehead.

_Abort! That was a terrible decision._

The front door closes, and a soft purring comes with it.

“Alright sweetie, we’re in Akaashi’s home, so play nice okay? Daddy will be here the whole time so there’s nothing to be scared of.”

_Daddy? You can be my-_

Bagheera meows in response and Akaashi turns to see a black streak dashing across his living room shortly followed by a grinning Kuroo.

“Is she okay?” Akaashi frowns as Bagheera runs under the couch with amazing flexibility. “Should we have gone to your place?”

“Nah. She’s just exploring. Give her about ten minutes and she’ll be at home.” Kuroo shrugs. “Oh! I should get her some treats. That’ll make it easier on her.”

“Does she eat people food? I have milk.”

“She does, but I don’t give her milk. Cow’s milk isn’t actually good for cats even though they love it.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Nah.” Kuroo waves the air. “Most people don’t realize. Besides, it’s not like Bo hasn’t given her milk before. He’s worse at spoiling her than I am.” Kuroo shakes his head in disapproval but doesn’t hide his grin.

“What about fish?”

“She’d love some fish, but I can just go get her cat treats. You don’t have to give her food.”

Akaashi silently opens the fridge and pulls out a package of skinned plain tuna and grabs a knife from the counter. He waves the knife in the air and points to the package. “What about tuna? It’s straight fish sans bones.”

Kuroo opens his mouth but is interrupted by a flash of black jumping on the counter by the fish. Bagheera tentatively steps toward the package of fish, sniffs it, and lets out a loud demanding meow to Akaashi since he’s standing by it.

“Bagheera! Get off the counter!” Kuroo scolds her and steps toward the counter.

“It’s fine.”

“But-“

“We’ll just clean it when she’s done.”

Kuroo grumbles but takes a seat.

Akaashi cuts open the package and runs the fish under some water, making sure to clean it well and ensure that all the bones had been removed. Bagheera follows him over to the sink and watches the fish intently, tentatively pawing the air. Akaashi smirks and pulls a cutting board out. He cuts a few small cubes and places them in a small dish for Bagheera.

Bagheera immediately starts sniffing the bowl and gives it a few tentative licks before chomping down on it. Akaashi wraps the rest of the fish and puts it away. Bagheera starts pulling loudly as she eats. Akaashi wipes his hands and reaches out to scratch her neck.

“Don’t-“ Kuroo starts, but Akaashi’s hand is already on Bagheera.

She purrs louder and continues eating her food while adjusting position, so she can optimize both food and attention.

“Oh.” Kuroo says softly. “I was afraid she’d bite you.” He lets out a sigh of relief and eyes Akaashi suspiciously. “Are you a cat whisperer? She never warms up to anyone this fast.”

Akaashi gets one final pet in before turning back to the fridge to pull out ingredients. “Not that I’m aware of. I’ve never had a pet.” He grabs some pork chops from the fridge and turns back to Kuroo. “Would pork cutlets and sides be okay with you?”

“You could serve me charcoal and I’d still think it’d be the best meal I’ve ever eaten.” Kuroo gives a dreamy grin as he gets up and pets Bagheera.

“You’re just saying that because I’m feeding you.”

Kuroo fakes a gasp. “I am offended, Akaashi! I never lie! What do you take me for?”

Akaashi gives him a flat look.

“Am I really that transparent?”

“If you were any more transparent, I’d only be able to identify where you are from the sound of your voice.”

“Ow. So cold, Akaashi.”

Akaashi shrugs and starts to prepare dinner.

Kuroo rests his arms on the table and bends down so his head is resting on his arms. He cocks his head to the side, making him look like a small child. “So. What can I help with?”

“You don’t have to help.”

“Aaaakaaaashiiii. You’re making dinner for me two nights in a row. Let me help.”

“No. I don’t trust you with sharp objects.”

“What?” Kuroo chirps back.

Akaashi smirks. “Why don’t you pull up Netflix or something and we can watch a movie?”

“Are you trying to ask me if I want to Netflix and chill, Akaashi?” Kuroo smirks back.

_I’d like to._

Akaashi lets out a deep sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. “How is Bokuto-san still with you?”

Kuroo’s eyebrows come together and he frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?”

_Shit. I said it._

Akaashi busies himself with preparing dinner. He feels Kuroo’s eyes burning holes in him and knows that he’s not going to let it go.

“I just-“ Akaashi bites the inside of his cheeks. “You say a lot of flirtatious things. I don’t think I’d like it if my significant other flirted all the time.”

_Wait. That made it sound like I’m accusing him of flirting with me._

“Even if it’s just in jest.” Akaashi quickly adds.

“Bo and I aren’t in that kind of relationship.” Kuroo tilts his head to the side a bit, frown slowly fading.

“I thought we already established that you two are in that kind of relationship. Thin walls, remember?”

“Pfft. That’s not what I meant. Obviously, we have a sexual relationship. But we’re also open to seeing other people.”

Akaashi stares down at the food he’s preparing and can’t help but to quirk an eyebrow.

_What does that even mean?_

Seeing Akaashi’s confusion, Kuroo decides to explain further. “Okay. So you know polyamory? We’re like that. Me and Bo date, but we’re okay with each of us seeing other people. Though, we don’t so much anymore. Bo’s busy and has to be careful about things like that. I do sometimes, but I’ve only had a couple of casual dates since I started grad school. Too busy trying to keep up.”

Akaashi hums at that, still trying to make sense of what Kuroo is telling him.

“We’ve had that agreement for the last several years. At first it was cause we were young and wanted to explore and have threesomes. Neither of us wanted to separate, but we also didn’t want to let other opportunities pass by. We just kinda kept it going after that. Not that either of us have a problem with it. Usually it doesn’t end up being serious relationship with anyone, but there have been a few. If it gets serious, Bo and I have a discussion about how to proceed.”

“Proceed?”

_Are they murdering people?_

“Hmm. If we’re each okay with one of us seriously dating someone else. There has to be trust. And communication. If I’m seriously dating someone else, they’re a part of Bo’s life too, you know? We also consider if we want to try both of us dating the third party.”

“Both of you?”

“Mhm. If we both like the person enough and they like us enough. We had one partner like that for about a year, but it didn’t work out.”

Akaashi cringes a bit at that. Images of an intense dramatic breakup complete with flying plates cross though his mind causing him to shudder.

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Kuroo snorts. “You’ve heard me and Bo having sex. I think you can ask me just about anything at this point.” Kuroo drops his voice and leans in. “Even my measurements, if you asked nicely.” He adds a wink and smirks.

Akaashi blushes and turns away, pretending to search for something in a drawer.

“But, it was nothing dramatic like you’re imagining. Bo’s almost always busy and has to keep his relationships secret. Well. His homosexual ones at least. I was working on finishing my bachelor’s degree and was working part-time. They were lonely and started feeling out of the loop. We tried to fix things. Made sure to give them extra attention and arrange schedules so we could spend more time together. Things were getting better, but then they got an offer to go work in Osaka. It was a great offer and it wasn’t like Bo or I were in a position to go with them at the time, so we all decided it’s be best to end things.”

“Oh.” Akaashi frowns. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.”

“It wasn’t fun.” Kuroo frowns and zones out in memory for a second. “But that’s all in the past now.” Kuroo waves the thought away and walks over to the living room to grab the remote. “What do you like to watch?”

“I’m fine with anything.”

There’s a snicker and Akaashi looks up to find Kuroo scrolling though the Disney movies.

“Anything that isn’t a musical.” He corrects.

Kuroo turns to Akaashi and pouts.

“Fine.” Akaashi replies and Kuroo’s smile returns. “Anything that isn’t a musical that you know the words to.”

Kuroo’s face warps back to a pout. “You’re no fun.”

“What’s that?” Akaashi smirks as he starts putting dinner on plates. “I can’t hear you over the sound of me finishing your dinner.”

“I said you’re the best and we’re watching uhhh-“ Kuroo scrolls through several titles quickly and clicks one at random. “this one.”

The opening credits for The Babysitter pull up and Kuroo looked at Akaashi and grimaced.

“Well. I’ve never seen it.”

Akaashi grabs a couple of dishes and brings them to the living room table.

“Oh! I’ll help!” Kuroo jumps up from the couch and walks to the kitchen, grabbing several dishes.

Akaashi saves the spreadsheet he’d been working on and closes his laptop before taking it back to his room. Returning, he grabs another cushion and pushes the coffee table forward, so they could sit with the couch to their backs and still watch TV.

“Looks great!” Kuroo exclaims as he sets down the last dish and some chopsticks. “Thank you for cooking for me again!”

“It’s no trouble. It’s no harder to cook for two people than it is for one. What do you want to drink?”

“Water is fine. I’ll pay you back somehow for it.”

Akaashi crosses back over to the living room and passes Kuroo his drink before sitting down beside him. Bagheera is swatting and biting at the leaves of his small tree in the corner.

_Good riddance, you impulse purchase._

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t want you to pay me back.”

Kuroo frowns and looks like he’s about to argue, but Akaashi just starts eating his meal and Kuroo drops it in favor of eating.

Halfway through dinner, Bagheera saunters up and crawls into Akaashi’s lap and makes herself comfortable. Akaashi gives a soft smile and scratches behind her ears.

“Bagheera!” Kuroo shouts. “Akaashi is eating! Get off!”

Akaashi runs his hand down Bagheera’s back and she stretches out more before curing up into a tighter ball.

“She’s fine. I don’t often get to pet animals, so this is nice.”

Kuroo gapes at Akaashi until Akaashi notices the silence and looks up to meet his eyes.

“You can cook and you’re sweet to my cat. Akaashi, I think you just stole my heart.”

Akaashi’s heart jumps.

_What?_

Akaashi’s eyes widen, but his brain can’t think of a response. Kuroo is smirking at him, obviously expecting some sort of response, some sort of sassy comeback. Akaashi swallows and returns to his meal, heart racing still.

_Calm down. It was just an expression. He doesn’t really mean it. He wasn’t flirting. He’s never flirted with me._

Kuroo doesn’t seem miffed in the slightest at Akaashi’s lack of response. Instead he hums in thought and picks a new conversation topic.

“I didn’t interrupt anything earlier, did I? You had your laptop out.”

“No. It was just work. I was ready to call it a day anyway.”

“Work?”

“I do bookkeeping, but I work from home.”

“Oh.” Kuroo stares off for a moment and then laughs to himself. “I thought you were a NEET.” He burst out into laughter at the admission.

_A NEET?_

Akaashi deadpans in disbelief. “Where did you get that idea from?”

“What?” Kuroo giggles. “You’re always home.”

Akaashi’s face warps to something in-between disgust and confusion. “NEET though? Do people actually use that word in the real world or have you been binging too much anime instead of studying?”

Kuroo scoffs. “What makes you think I watch a lot of anime?”

Akaashi stares blankly back at him.

“Okay! And that’s-!. That’s aside from the point! Don’t you ever get bored of being at home all the time?”

“Not exactly. I work a regular work week. When I’m done, I’ll leave and do things if I feel the need.”

“But you’re staring at the same walls all day.”

“I happen to like these walls.”

“Don’t you get lonely though? Never socializing and all?”

Akaashi cuts Kuroo a sharp look. “Just because I work from home, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have friends. Besides,” Akaashi smirks maliciously, “recently I acquired a neighbor who seems to want to spend all his free time with me like some imprinted duckling, so how could I ever be lonely?”

“Hardy har har.” Kuroo sassily shakes his head side to side. “You’re fucking welcome, ya damn NEET. Now let’s go somewhere.”

“Now?” Akaashi looks back at his mostly empty dishes and to the movie they weren’t paying attention to.

“Well. Not now. I have to study. But maybe this weekend?”

_Going places on the weekend? That sounds like a date._

“Hm.” Akaashi pushes some food around on his plate. “Like where?”

Kuroo hums and crosses his arms in thought. “Oh, I know! Let’s go see a movie and then go drinking somewhere!”

Akaashi clicks his tongue at Kuroo. “Damn college kids wanting to party all the time.”

“Hey!” Kuroo scoffs back. “I’m pretty sure I’m older than you!”

“I stand corrected. Damn senior citizen student.”

“You little shit.” Kuroo counters with no real bite to it.

Akaashi cocks his head and plasters a sweet smile on his face. “I thought I was a NEET?”

“You can be both! They’re not mutually exclusive qualities!”

“Whatever you say, Kuroo-san. If we decide on a movie, I’m picking. For some reason, I just don’t trust your judgement.”

“What? I have great taste!”

Akaashi silently holds a hand toward the movie playing currently.

Kuroo purses his lips. “A wise choice, NEET.”

“You know, I liked you much more when you stayed in your own apartment.”

“Excuse you, I am a delight! I’m like one of those ¥30,00 parfaits!”

Akaashi snorts. “Sure, you are, Kuroo-san.”

**. . .**

Kuroo leaves just before nine after helping Akaashi clean up. After Kuroo is safely in his own apartment with an upset Bagheera who didn’t want to leave, and Akaashi’s locked the door, he lets out a deep sigh.

_We just spent two nights in a row eating dinner together. We’re going out together this weekend. Kuroo and Bokuto are in a polyamorous relationship._

Akaashi strips and collapses in his bed exhausted from socializing and fighting against the urge to lean into Kuroo’s side. Fighting against the urge to see what his lips taste like. To see if the moans he made in bed with Akaashi sounded the same as they did with Bokuto.

_Polyamorous relationship, huh? Dating more than one person. I wonder what that’d be like._

Akaashi snuggles deeper into his blankets and gives a contented sigh.

 _Wait_.

Pieces of information start to link in Akaashi’s mind. Flirting. Polyamory. Kuroo seeking him out. Going out this weekend.

Akaashi jolts up in bed.

“Holy fuck” he whispers.

_I could sleep with Kuroo without being a homewrecker._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warren: “YOU got into Harvard Law?”  
> Elle: “What, like it’s hard?”
> 
> I’ve never seen The Babysitter, but I was scrolling through to find a movie that looked bad and the short description for it made me roll my eyes, so it won.
> 
> Way to figure that one out quickly, Akaashi.


	8. Chapter 8

[ **Akaashi** ]: I fucked up

[ **Akaashi** ]: I ducked up bad Kenma

[ **Kenma** ]: did you finally ask out the straight guy you buy your plants from?

[ **Akaashi** ]: what?

[ **Akaashi** ]: no

[ **Kenma** ]: then what’s the emergency?

[ **Kenma** ]: its too early.

[ **Kenma** ]: before noon

[ **Akaashi** ]: wait

[ **Akaashi** ]: he’s straight?

[ **Kenma** ]: for a gay man, your lack of a gaydar astounds and terrifies me

[ **Akaashi** ]: that’s not a real thing

[ **Kenma** ]: it is

[ **Kenma** ]: it’s how I knew you were gay before you did

[ **Kenma** ]: how else did you think I knew that?

[ **Akaashi** ]: because you’re scary like that??

[ **Kenma** ]: tell me the problem before I go back to bed

[ **Akaashi** ]: so

[ **Akaashi** ]: remember how I met my neighbor?

[ **Akaashi** ]: Kuroo-san. Not Bokuto-san.

[ **Akaashi** ]: well. Bokuto-san is gone for a few weeks

[ **Kenma** ]: tap that ass

[ **Kenma** ]: problem solved

[ **Kenma** ]: good night

[ **Akaashi** ]: anyway

[ **Akaashi** ]: Monday Kuroo-san and I went for a run together and I invited him over for dinner

[ **Kenma** ]: WHAT???? ??

[ **Kenma** ]: and you didn’t tell me???

[ **Kenma** ]: pissed

[ **Akaashi** ]: so we had dinner.

[ **Akaashi** ]: then Tuesday we go run again

[ **Akaashi** ]: except he seems kinda sad

[ **Akaashi** ]: so I invite him over for dinner again

[ **Kenma** ]: get it

[ **Kenma** ]: IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE KEIJI

[ **Akaashi** ]: and he brings his cat over

[ **Akaashi** ]: Bagheera

[ **Akaashi** ]: who loves me

[ **Akaashi** ]: it was nice

[ **Kenma** ]: CAT?????

[ **Kenma** ]: two strikes Keiji

[ **Kenma** ]: you’re on thin fucking ice

[ **Kenma** ]: did you at least take a picture of the cat for me?

[ **Akaashi** ]: ……..

[ **Akaashi** ]: I will tonight.

[ **Kenma** ]: damn right you will

[ **Kenma** ]: wait

[ **Kenma** ]: tonight??

[ **Akaashi** ]: I sort of invited him over to dinner the whole week

[ **Akaashi** ]: under the guise that it’s no more effort for me to cook for 2

[ **Kenma** ]: you live off takeout

[ **Kenma** ]: aside from when you want to show all those cooking classes you take are useful and not a waste of money

[ **Akaashi** ]: THAT ASIDE

[ **Akaashi** ]: he was flirting with me

[ **Akaashi** ]: so I asked about Bokuto-san

[ **Akaashi** ]: and they’re in an open relationship

[ **Akaashi** ]: polyamory

[ **Akaashi** ]: OPEN RELATIONSHIP

[ **Akaashi** ]: POLYAMORY

[ **Akaashi** ]: MULTIPLE PARTNERS

[ **Akaashi** ]: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS KENMA

[ **Kenma** ]: that you can bang him by the end of the week and not be a homewrecker

[ **Kenma** ]: that you WILL bang him by the end of the week

[ **Kenma** ]: or we’re not friends anymore

[ **Akaashi** ]: I cant do that

[ **Akaashi** ]: it’s too soon

[ **Kenma** ]: gay men move fast

[ **Kenma** ]: get over it

[ **Kenma** ]: get on him

[ **Kenma** ]: let him get on you

[ **Kenma** ]: let him bend you over

[ **Akaashi** ]: STOP

[ **Akaashi** ]: for the love of god

[ **Akaashi** ]: stop

[ **Kenma** ]: so whats the problem?

[ **Akaashi** ]: we have a date

[ **Akaashi** ]: this weekend

[ **Kenma** ]: this is like a fucking fairy tail

[ **Kenma** ]: I fail to see the problem

[ **Kenma** ]: aside from you waking me up

[ **Kenma** ]: and not spilling sooner

[ **Kenma** ]: and no cat pictures

[ **Kenma** ]: actually. Theres a lot of problems

[ **Kenma** ]: you don’t deserve this fairy tale right now

[ **Akaashi** ]: focus

[ **Kenma** ]: fine

[ **Kenma** ]: but I’m still pissed

[ **Kenma** ]: can you not wait that long for him to ravage you?

[ **Kenma** ]: is that it?

[ **Akaashi** ]: he’s hot

[ **Akaashi** ]: and my neighbor

[ **Akaashi** ]: and I don’t know how to do this

[ **Akaashi** ]: what if it’s bad

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’ll have to move

[ **Akaashi** ]: I can’t face him everyday

[ **Akaashi** ]: and how will I face Bokuto-san if we do have sex?

[ **Akaashi** ]: how do I face him if we don’t

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’ve looked up to him for the longest

[ **Kenma** ]: you’re a fucking disaster

[ **Kenma** ]: just feed him and then get naked

[ **Kenma** ]: it’ll work like a charm

[ **Akaashi** ]: im going to start asking Konoha for help

[ **Kenma** ]: good luck

[ **Kenma** ]: he’s a bigger disaster than you

[ **Kenma** ]: and he’s got that weird straight man crush on Koutarou

[ **Kenma** ]: ugh

[ **Kenma** ]: can’t think about it this early in the morning

[ **Kenma** ]: might vomit

[ **Akaashi** ]: why are you like this?

[ **Kenma** ]: genetics

[ **Kenma** ]: and environment

[ **Akaashi** ]: help

[ **Kenma** ]: fine

[ **Kenma** ]: I’m coming over for dinner tonight

[ **Akaashi** ]: Kenma no

[ **Kenma** ]: KENMA YES

[ **Akaashi** ]: you have to help and not just pet the cat

[ **Kenma** ]: …..

[ **Kenma** ]: it’s called multitasking Keiji

[ **Kenma** ]: surely you’ve heard of it

**. . .**

Kuroo comes over earlier than he had the last two nights. Not that Akaashi was grateful for the extra time he got to spend with his neighbor without Kenma creepily observing them from afar because that’s just what he does. Technically his job for the night, but Akaashi still felt more comfortable not being constantly observed.

 As soon as Kuroo sets Bagheera down, she runs directly to Akaashi and meows at him while brushing up against his legs doing a weird tail shake all the while.

“Bagheera, you damn traitor! Why do you treat daddy like this? You’re breaking my heart!” Kuroo calls out, looking displeased.

_I would never break daddy’s heart. Daddy can break me, though. Wait. Shut-up brain. I do NOT have a daddy kink. I won’t admit to it._

Akaashi picks Bagheera up, petting her as she nuzzles against him, and sets her on the counter. It’s kind of her spot now if there isn’t a lap available. He pulls out some more tuna and gives her the well-deserved treat. She happily munches while purring like a jet engine, not passing another glance at Kuroo.

_That’s right. Love me most. Be so distraught when you’re not over here that you sit at the door meowing to come over. That way Kuroo has to keep coming over._

“I hate to say it, but you’re going to have even more competition for Bagheera’s affections tonight. One of my friends, Kenma, will be joining us for dinner tonight and he’s dead set on loving her to death. Maybe not literal death, but catnapping is a definite possibility.”

Kuroo gives a little cackle. “Kenma, eh? He’s that fond of cats?”

“He is. He demanded to come over when I told him you’ve been bringing your cat over.”

“He doesn’t have a cat?”

“No. He doesn’t think he and his boyfriend are responsible enough to take care of a cat yet. Not to mention, Kenma gets really into his work and when he gets behind, he’ll spend days doing nothing but work.”

“Brutal.”

Akaashi shrugs. “He loves it, even if he does complain. If he didn’t love it, he wouldn’t do it. He doesn’t expend energy on things he doesn’t like.”

“He sounds kinda like a cat himself.”

Akaashi hums. “You’re right there. He’s lazy, wants attention only on his terms, likes to sleep all day, stays in the same room as you but doesn’t interact, and watches every move you make.” Akaashi gives a light shudder. “He’s also perceptive as hell.”

Kuroo smirks. “Maybe you’re just not perceptive enough.”

_On the contrary, I’m too perceptive when it comes to some things. Current examples include how you’re looking extra hot today and wearing cologne even though you didn’t the last two days._

“Hmm. You say that, but I’ve noticed you’re like a cat too.”

Kuroo gives that cat-like smirk. “How so?”

“That slightly creepy grin plastered all over your face right now, your love of fish, and need for attention or at least need to be in the same room as someone.”

“Need for attention?” Kuroo scoffs. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re lonely since Bokuto-san is away, aren’t you? That’s why you’re spending all your free time here. You’re content just reading on my couch as long as I’m in the same room.”

_Not that I’m complaining about your catlike tendencies at all._

“That’s not true!”

Akaashi gives him a flat look.

“That’s not. Entirely. True.” Kuroo trails off.

 Akaashi gives a victorious grin. “Who’s not perceptive again?”

“Still you. You’ve picked up on the little things, but you’re still missing the big picture.”

Akaashi jolts his head back indignantly at Kuroo’s response. “What does that mean?”

“When you finally open your eyes and perceive things, you’ll know.” Kuroo ominously nods.

“Ugh.”

There’s a soft knock at the door that pulls Akaashi from pressing for a real answer.

“That must be Kenma. I’ll be right back.”

“Alrighty. I’m going to tell Bagheera how much I love her and remind her of our address just in case she does gets catnapped tonight. Maybe bribe her with more people food.”

_Not a bad safety plan._

When Akaashi opens the door, Kenma’s there playing a game on his phone. He’s got a bag hanging off his arm and he immediately hands it to Akaashi without looking up.

“Here. Booze. It should make this evening interesting.”

Akaashi quirks an eyebrow and takes it. “Kuroo-san’s already here.” He closes the door as Kenma steps in and sloppily removes his shoes.

Kenma walks into the open area still looking down at his phone. Kuroo’s in the middle of the room with Bagheera in his arms cooing at her. At the sound of Kuroo’s voice, Kenma freezes in place and his head whips up.

Kuroo looks over to where he’s at, a huge grin forming on his face. “Kenma!” He cheerfully calls.

“Fuck.” Kenma starts back tracking and walks past Akaashi in the hall.

“Do you two know each other?” Akaashi moves out of the way and looks back and forth between the two.

Kuroo plops Bagheera on the couch and runs after Kenma. Kenma’s still trying to put his shoes on when Kuroo catches him. He wraps Kenma in a huge hug and pulls him back into the living room.

“Dammit. Dammit.” Kenma mutters under his breath the whole way. “I should’ve fucking known. Japan, no Earth, is too damn small. Why do horrible things happen to me like this?”

“Kenma! It’s been years! Why are you running from me?” Kuroo rubs his face against Kenma’s head, messing up his hair.

_If I disappear for years will he also be that affectionate to me? How many years? Would a week work? A couple of days? What’s the minimum requirement here?_

“Let go, Kuro.” Kenma claws and flails limbs trying to escape. “Let go or I’ll tell Keiji every embarrassing thing you did in high school.”

_High school?_

Kuroo relinquishes his hold on Kenma and puts his hands up in the air in surrender. Kenma huffs and goes to sit on the far couch. He pulls his phone back out, effectively shutting them both out until he can recover from human interaction. It’s like an antisocial person charger for him.

“And, to answer your question,” Kuroo turns toward Akaashi, “yes we do know each other. We went to the same high school and played on the same volleyball team.”

“Oh.” Akaashi eloquently manages to reply a little stunned at this new information. “I know Kenma’s antisocial, but why’d he run from you?”

“Because,” Kenma dryly interrupts, “he not only forced me to come to practice, which I hated, but he also hit on me every day for two years. Worst part is, we lived beside each other. He never went away. It was a fucking nightmare.”

“And he never said yes to a date. Never even considered it for a moment.” Kuroo proudly grins and puffs out his chest.

_Is that really something to be proud of?_

Both Akaashi and Kenma shoot him a wary look.

“Why not?” Akaashi turns his head back to Kenma.

“I don’t do fuckboys.”

Kuroo scoffs. “I am not a fuckboy. I’m totally a gentleman.”

Both Akaashi and Kenma give Kuroo flat looks.

“Anyway~” Kuroo hums. “I know what you’re really here for.”

_Fuck. He knows. Abort!_

“You want to play with my pussy all night long.” Kuroo purrs.

Akaashi facepalms and walks to the kitchen trying to convince himself to not slam his head on the next sturdy surface he walks past. Not even a concussion could cure the pain he just had to experience.

Kenma stands up and starts to walk to the door. “On that note, goodbye. You should move immediately, Keiji.”

“Agreed.” Akaashi calls from the kitchen. “I’ll text you with my new address by Friday.”

“Wait.” Kuroo whines, stalking after Kenma again. “I’ll make apple pie for dessert and I’ll bring cat toys and treats so Bagheera will be all over you.”

Kenma halts and turns back toward the living room. “Get them.”

“Aye, aye! Captain!”

There’s the sound of the door opening and closing. Kenma walks back to the kitchen and stares Akaashi dead in the eyes.

“I can’t believe you want to fuck that, Keiji. Be better. Do better.” He turns and walks back to his couch.

“Wha-“ Akaashi starts, but stops when he hears the door opening again and quickly makes himself look busy.

“Okay!” Kuroo quickly comes back into the room huffing with a bag of cat toys. He pulls out a stick with a string and feather attached to the end. “Her favorite is between this and a laser pointer.”

“Laser pointer. Gimmie.” Kenma pockets his phone and makes grabbing hands.

Kuroo fishes out the laser pointer. The chain on it dangles and Bagheera comes running up to Kenma meowing and staring at the laser pointer. Kuroo laughs before setting the bag down beside Kenma and walking toward the door again.

“Gonna grab stuff for apple pie real quick.”

_He sure is eager to please Kenma. I wonder if he still has a crush on him? Will he ask him out again tonight? Keep his record up?_

Akaashi starts to frown and ruminate on it, but the sight of a black blur running back and forth in his living room distracts him. Bagheera goes absolutely bonkers for the laser pointer. She darts incredibly fast after it and when Kenma shines it up a wall, she jumps trying to get it. Kenma, being the sadist he is, makes her run in circles several times until she gets dizzy and falls over. Akaashi grins and leans on the counter watching.

While he’s distracted, Kuroo returns. He leans on the counter beside Akaashi and bumps their shoulders together. He’s got a soft smile and watches Bagheera and Kenma play adoringly. Something about it feels so domestic.

“They look happy.”

Akaashi’s eyes flicker over to Kenma. He’s got his knees to his chest on the couch and there’s a small smile dancing at the corner of his lips. His eyes are locked onto Bagheera as he observes her. It’s one of the rare times that Kenma looks so happy without a game in front of him.

“They do.” Akaashi stands up straight, letting his shoulder brush back against Kuroo’s. “I’m going to go ahead and start dinner.”

“Do you mind if I go ahead and prepare the pie while you cook? It’ll take a while to bake. I can help you too, of course.”

“Go ahead. I don’t know if I’ve ever had real apple pie before?”

“Really?” Kuroo jumps up and down a bit. “You’re going to love it!”

Akaashi gives a soft smile. “I’m sure I’d love anything you make.”

Kuroo leans one elbow on the counter and looks Akaashi up and down. “That so? How about I make you-“

“Kuro.” Kenma sternly, but quietly says from the living room.

“A nice cup of tea. Yup. That’s what I was going to say.” Kuroo whistles and turns so he can see Kenma. He shoots a glare his way before turning back to Akaashi with a smile. “So. Dinner, yeah?”

_What an interesting power dynamic. Kenma’s like a little sadistic puppeteer._

Akaashi snickers a little. “Yes, dinner.” He grabs the bag Kenma brought and pulls a large bottle of sake out. “And drinks, thanks to Kenma.”

Kuroo’s eyes light up. “Thank you Kenma!”

Akaashi pulls out three glasses and starts pouring.

“Kenma’s going to drink?” Kuroo raises his eyebrows in shock.

“Kenma, you’re drinking, right?” Akaashi calls.

“Obviously.”

“You heard the man.” Akaashi nods and hands Kuroo a glass. “Will you take this to him?”

“I’d do anything for you, Akaashi.” He starts to close in on Akaashi and puts his hand over Akaashi’s. “Even-“

“Kuro.”

Kuroo straightens back up. “Coming~!”

Akaashi lets out another snicker and takes a sip of his own drink.

_Can’t wait to get them drunk and see what that’s about. See what all this is._

He and Kuroo set to work preparing dinner and dessert. There’s a lot of “accidental” shoulder touches and “accidental” collisions that make it hard to concentrate. Akaashi wouldn’t mind if Kuroo said screw dinner and bent him over the kitchen counter, but alas, Akaashi’s fantasies never materialized.

Probably for the best considering Kenma was in the apartment.

And considering he doesn’t even know if that’s something he really wants outside of his physical desires. Damn higher order intelligence cock blocking him.

They chat back and forth lightly as they work and steadily drink more. Kenma only interrupts once when he comes to steal more tuna for Bagheera. By the time dinner’s ready, Bagheera is curled up on Kenma’s lap. Kenma steadily pets here while watching a gaming video on his phone.

And Akaashi is fairly buzzed.

Which makes it even harder for him to not wrap his arms around Kuroo’s neck and press his lips onto his.

But that’s not really appropriate dinner talk to have with your neighbor.

“Sorry, Kuroo-san. It looks like you’re going to have to find a new cat. There’s no way Kenma’s leaving without her. I hope you’ve said your goodbyes. Maybe he’ll let you have visiting rights?”

“I’m going to use the apple pie as bartering material. It may be the only way I can get her back.”

“You think only one’s going to cut it?”

“God, no. He’ll probably want at least ten.”

Kuroo looks at Akaashi with half-lidded eyes and bites his lip a little. His cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and there’s something magnetic about him that makes Akaashi want to press his body against him more than usual.

_You’re just touch starved and horny. Calm your dick down. Although. I wonder if I can get him to fall asleep on the couch and we “accidently” end up cuddling? Is that too manipulative of me?_

“But that’s okay.” Kuroo continues, “That just means that’s ten more times I can come over and spend time with you.”

_Bagheera the ultimate wing-woman. You’re doing your best work, sweetie._

“Gross.”

Akaashi and Kuroo both jump at the sudden appearance of Kenma in the kitchen who was, of course, holding Bagheera and petting her.

_Don’t let Bagheera go Kenma, or so help me…_

“If you two are done flirting now, can we please eat? I’m starving.”

Akaashi feels the blush spread across his face instantly. “Fli-. We were not flirting.”

“I was flirting.” Kuroo shrugs and nods. “You caught me.”

“God. You’re like a gross married couple. Cut it out.”

“And as a gross married couple,” Kuroo reaches over and takes Bagheera from Kenma. Bagheera starts purring and rubbing her face against Kuroo, “we thank you for babysitting, but this is our child.”

Kenma shoots a sharp glare at Kuroo and grabs the bottle of sake to pour himself another drink mumbling about “not being drunk enough for this” under his breath.

_A gross married couple with Kuroo?_

Akaashi shoots a glance toward Kuroo who’s teasing Kenma while still holding Bagheera.

_Sounds kind of nice._

“Be better, Keiji.” Kenma sternly mutters as he walks past with plates of food.

“Better at what?” Kuroo quips and grabs some plates to take to the table. “My husband is absolutely perfect. You know! You’ve met him!”

“Please stop calling Keiji your husband before I barf.”

“Hey! You were the one that suggested it!”

“I don’t care. The thought of a perverted idiot like you marrying my best friend makes me physically ill. My head is killing me now.”

“How am I a perverted idiot?” Kuroo almost screeches back.

Akaashi grins at the two bickering as he slowly backs out of the room and walks to the bathroom. He needed just a little bit of space after Kuroo so openly admitted to flirting with him and joked about the two of them being married.

_It’s just a joke, Keiji. Just a joke. He’s flirtatious and has been drinking. That’s all there is to it. Some people just say whatever comes to their mind and they don’t really mean it._

The longing for a life partner wells up inside Akaashi. He wants to walk out and have Kuroo, hell anyone, hold him in their arms and tell him how much they love him. He’s lonely. He’s trying to fill that void in his life with anything and everything, but it’s a different kind of need that no amount of rock climbing, painting classes, or lunches with friends can fill.

_It’s just because you’re worried about getting older. Fight it. You’ve done well alone so far. If it happens, it happens. If not, it’s okay. You don’t need a relationship to be happy. Life isn’t about being in love. No partner can make you complete it doesn’t work like that._

He frowns at himself in the mirror.

_It’s not about being complete though. It’s about companionship. It’s about sharing life adventures with someone. It’s about growing together. It’s the little things I crave. The intimacy._

Akaashi washes his hands and splashes some water on his face. He stares at himself in the mirror, studying a few grey hairs that are starting to show already and the lines around his eyes. How tired he looks. He gives a deep sigh before opening the door.

“Hey. You feeling okay?”

The sound of another voice makes Akaashi jump in the doorframe.

“Ah. Yes, I’m fine Kuroo-san. You could’ve started eating without me.”

“Kenma already started. You snuck away so I got worried.”

Akaashi’s heart starts to pound hard.

“Trying to catch me with my pants down?” Akaashi smirks and walks past Kuroo.

“What? No!” Kuroo squawks and follows after Akaashi. “I am a gentleman!”

They sit at the table and Kenma refills Akaashi’s drink.

“Kuro. High school.”

“That’s been like a decade! I’m not that bad now! Am I, Akaashi?” Kuroo looks toward Akaashi desperately seeking help.

“Well.” Akaashi takes a sip of his sake. “The first time we met I thought you were reenacting a shitty porn.”

Kuroo looks flabbergasted and his mouth drops open in embarrassment.

Kenma snorts and erupts into a full laugh. When he can breathe again, he wipes his eyes and mutters, “Dumbass”.

“Akaashi! My husband! My partner! How could you betray me like that?” Kuroo whines, reaching for Akaashi’s hand on the table.

“I never agreed to this marriage.”

“But baaaabe!”

“In fact, I want a divorce. I’m keeping Bagheera and Kenma.” Akaashi coolly takes another sip of his drink and starts eating.

Kenma perks up at the end of the table. “Yuuussss!”

“Babe! I’ll be better! I’ll do better! I’ll make you all the sweets you want!”

Akaashi’s ears perk up at that. “Make my son another apple pie and I wannnt,” Akaashi rolls his mouth around while he thinks, “a chocolate cheesecake.”

“Deal.”

“And a fruit tart.”

“Done.”

“And truffles.”

“Okay.”

“And macaroons.”

“I’m starting to think you only love me for my baking skills.”

“Shouldn’t you be writing this down? I thought you were showing me you can do better.”

“Ahhh. I see how you two get along so well now. You’re both savage as fuck.”

Akaashi and Kenma both shrug and quietly resume their dinner like Kuroo wasn’t trying to offend them. Being savage was a highest order compliment for them, even if it was an unintended compliment. Conversation takes a more normal route and Akaashi determinedly keeps refilling Kuroo and Kenma’s glasses as the meal continues.

_That’s right. Drink up. Spill everything. This is good blackmail material on both of you shitheads and you’ll give me answers without me even having to ask._

“Kuro.” Kenma’s face is flushed. He’s already drunk, being the smallest and one who drinks the least often.

“Hm?”

“Remember when you were in-denial and told everyone you didn’t think Koutarou was attractive even after you gave each other handjobs at training camp?”

“Oh yeah? Remember when you thought your attraction to that orange puff ball was just team rivalry? That he was like a difficult game to beat?”

“Remember when you got locked in the supply closet alone because you wanted to jerk off in there?”

“Remember when you almost passed out because a girl asked you out and instead you ran away and then barfed on yourself?”

“Remember when that girl broke up with you because of your obnoxious laugh and said when she kissed you she could only picture kissing the hyena’s in The Lion King?”

“Remember when you told Yaku you thought I was hot and then avoided me for three weeks which resulted in you almost breaking your nose during a game?”

Akaashi’s eyes widen and he jerks his head over to Kenma. His face is red and he’s looking down at the table with his hair hiding his eyes.

“Yaku lied to you.” Kenma takes a large sip of booze and looks Kuroo steadily in the eyes. “Remember when you were so afraid of your mom because she found your gay porn mags that you climbed my house and snuck into my window on the second floor?”

“How could I forget? That’s when I agreed to have sex with you, so you could lose your virginity!” Kuroo yells, his face looking a bit flushed.

Akaashi’s eyebrows raise to his hairline and he turns to look at Kenma wide-eyed. As much as Kenma liked to tease Akaashi about sexual stuff, he wasn’t one to share about his own sexual adventures. Akaashi wouldn’t even know Kenma had sex if he didn’t occasionally sport hickies on his neck and a soft limp.

“Shit.” Kuroo mumbles and downs his drink. “I’m sorry, Kenma. I didn’t mean to bring that up.” Kuroo runs his hands through his hair. He grabs the mostly empty bottle of sake and walks to the door without another word. The sound of him leaving Akaashi’s apartment and entering his own fills the silence between Akaashi and Kenma.

Kenma takes a shaky breath in.

Akaashi stands up and walks over to Kenma. He pulls him to his side and gently rubs his back. “You want to talk about it? Was the sex that bad?”

Kenma gives a small snort. “I was insecure about being a virgin. I took advantage of his promiscuity. I would’ve told you, but I didn’t realize it was Kuro until I got here. It’s been a decade. Didn’t connect the names together. Forgot the world was so small.” Kenma hiccups. “He’s always felt bad about it, but I’m the one who used him.”

“Did he feel bad because you were a virgin?”

“No-o. Cause I’d already met and had a crush on Shoyou at that point. It made things weird for me on the team too. He’d always teased me and then he’d suddenly stopped, and we were avoiding each other so everyone knew.”

“Oh.” Akaashi rubs Kenma’s back, unsure what to say. “I don’t think you should feel bad about it. Either of you. You were young dumb kids. Everything turned out fine.”

“I guess.”

“Don’t guess. I’m right. You know I’m always right. Except for my lack of a gaydar, apparently.” Akaashi teases. “If Kuroo hated you for it, he wouldn’t have wanted you to stay. And it seems like he knows you pretty well. He knows you didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“I guess.”

“Also.”

“Don’t say it.”

“How can you tell me to do better when you’ve already done it?”

Kenma smacks Akaashi hard on the arm.

“I was young and scared. You know how I am.”

“I know.” Akaashi rubs Kenma’s back some more. “But how was it?”

Kenma gives him a horrified look and Akaashi just winks back at him.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t~.”

There’s a comfortable silence while Kenma calms down.

“I have to go apologize now, don’t I?”

“Nah. I think he might need time.”

“No.” Kenma starts to stand up, but Akaashi pushes him back down in the chair. “He ruminates. He doesn’t look it, but he has anxiety. We need to check on him.”

“I’ll go. I know you need to be alone right now. Pet Bagheera. Text me when you’re ready for us to come back.”

“Okay.”

“And, for the love of god, Bagheera better still be here when I get back.”

Akaashi’s met with silence as walks to the door.

“Kenma.”

“Fine.” Kenma huffs.

“Good. Text me if you need anything.”

Kenma just hums as Akaashi walks out the door.

Akaashi knocks lightly on Kuroo’s door. There’s no answer. Kuroo left the door unlocked, so he opens it a crack and calls out. “Kuroo-san, I’m coming in. I want to check on you.”

More silence.

Akaashi sneaks in and closes the door quietly behind him. He walks into the apartment slowly, on alert for Kuroo. Or someone to jump out and surprise him. He’s not entirely sure which. You never know with new environments. The apartment is cleaner then he imagined, but still filled with weird odds and ends. The kitchen is filled with all sorts of appliances and makes Akaashi chuckle to himself.

_Why do they need so many appliances? Are there even purposes for all of them? They’re only two people._

He doesn’t see Kuroo in the main rooms, so he heads to the main bedroom. The doors open and when he gets closer, he can see Kuroo lying face down on the bed smashing a pillow to his ears.

 _Why_? _Just why?_

Akaashi taps on the bedroom door lightly, making Kuroo jump a little at the sound. He doesn’t get up or acknowledge Akaashi’s presence otherwise. Akaashi crosses the room and sits on the bed beside Kuroo. Just like with Kenma, he rubs his hand up and down Kuroo’s back gently.

Kuroo lets out a small groan at Akaashi’s touch and Akaashi has to remember what he’s here for.

A muffled “Sorry, Akaashi” comes from the pillow.

“No. Everything’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I need to go apologize to Kenma.”

“He’s fine. He just needs a minute to be alone.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Because you have me in bed with you and you’re too busy moping about something in the past? You should be. I always thought if a man ever cried in bed with me, it’d be from being overjoyed from the honor to sleep with me.”

Kuroo pulls his head from the pillow and gives Akaashi a look that crossed between hurt and surprised.

Akaashi pulls his hand from Kuroo’s back and ruffles his hair. “There you are. Don’t pout. It’s not a good look for you.”

“Ugh.” Kuroo plops his face back down into the pillow. “You must think I’m awful.”

Akaashi hums. “No. Not really. No worse than when I thought you were trying to cheat on our national hero, Bokuto-san.”

Kuroo chuckles into the pillow. “Don’t ever say that to that dumb loud owl. He’ll combust from excitement. You really will have to find a new place to live.”

“Who says I’m not already looking?”

Kuroo pushes himself up so he can look at Akaashi. “You’re not really, are you?”

“Hmm. Jury’s still out. Maybe some desserts can help sway their decision.”

Kuroo groans and flops over to his back. “I knew it. My husband just wants me, so I’ll make him food.”

“Shouldn’t I be your mistress and Bokuto-san your husband?”

“Nope.” Kuroo shakes his head. “We can’t get married. Well, he can’t get married to a guy. I can marry you and Bo can be our side ho.” Kuroo gives a big grin.

Akaashi covers his mouth to hide his smile but ends up chuckling out in a gut laugh. “Poor Bokuto-san. All this time together and he only gets to be a side ho.” He wipes the tears forming at the corner of his eyes just as his phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes a deep breath and pulls his phone out.

[ **Kenma** ]: [IMAGE ATTACHED]

“Apparently your apple pie is done, and our son is waiting for the okay to dig in.”

“Aw, shit.” Kuroo hoists himself up and scoots off the bed. “I’m going to owe him like a hundred apple pies now. Kinda promised I’d never mention _that_ again.”

Kuroo walks to the kitchen and Akaashi follows. He stops by the fridge to pull out some vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.

“Gotta pull out all the stops for a proper apology. Sorry, Akaashi. You may not get to try apple pie tonight after all.” Kuroo grimaces.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Kuroo-san. Kenma and I will be indulging in the apple pie you made, but you will not.”

“He’ll probably make me run out and buy more apples.”

“Have fun with that.”

They walk to the entryway, but Kuroo hesitates at the door. He bites his lip and turns to face Akaashi.

“Thanks for checking on me. It means a lot. Especially since Bo’s not here.”

Akaashi gives a soft smile. “Anytime.”

“And thanks for not hating me for it.”

“I could never.”

Kuroo gives a soft smile and takes a step forward like he’s going to give Akaashi a hug but thinks better of it and backs away.

In Akaashi’s apartment, Kenma is sitting at the table staring back and forth between his game and the pie. Bagheera is, of course, planted firmly on his lap.

“Kenma!” Kuroo calls out trying to sound cheerful. “I brought ice cream and whipped cream to go with your and Akaashi’s pie!”

“How much longer do I have to wait until I can eat it?”

“Give it at least ten more minutes if you want it at peak yumminess.”

Akaashi giggles.

_He is like a father._

Kenma groans and knocks his head on the table.

“Why can’t I just eat it now?”

“Cause you’ve got more embarrassing stories about me to tell Akaashi.”

“One time we lost a match because Kuro popped a boner.” Kenma blurts out automatically.

Kuroo sighs and walks to the kitchen to start grabbing plates and utensils.

Akaashi sits down beside Kenma. “What else?”

“He thought he was a science genius, snuck into the science lab, and burnt off his eyebrows.”

The three continue the night like that. Easy going, fun, and slightly at Kuroo’s expense. Kuroo, in fact, does not get any apple pie. Akaashi gets one piece and the rest ends up going home with Kenma. Bagheera almost goes with Kenma as well, but Kuroo took her from Kenma could get out the door.

They don’t leave until late, but Akaashi still has a million things on his mind.

_I can’t believe they knew each other. Kenma also knew Bokuto-san in school. Why is Kuroo so nice to Kenma? Do they still want to have sex? Why does Kenma keep telling me to do better?_

**. . .**

Thursday Akaashi’s tired of cooking so they just order takeout and watch some shitty movie. Akaashi doesn’t opt for getting Kuroo drunk and “accidentally” falling asleep so he can cuddle with him.

Kenma still hasn’t said anything to Akaashi, but he doesn’t really expect him to anytime soon. He needs time to heal. Or he won’t ever mention it again. It’s a coin toss, really.

Friday Kuroo says he has to finish an assignment, so Akaashi takes the chance to get out of the apartment. He ends up in a department store shopping for something to wear on their date this weekend. Though he rather die than admit that.

When he gets home, there’s a note taped to his door. Frowning, he pulls it down and opens it.

**Hey, beautiful. How does 1 sound for our date tomorrow? I’ll be up for a while if you can’t wait until then to see me. ;) Text me if you want me to come over. xxx-xxx-xxxx xoxo, Kuroo**

Akaashi crumples the note up.

**. . .**

When Akaashi gets up to go run, he’s not surprised that Kuroo’s not up to go run too. Not surprised, but also a little disappointed. He’d gotten up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and could hear Kuroo mumbling to himself still doing homework.

It’s still quiet when he gets back and throughout breakfast. He ends up pacing his apartment in anticipation for one to hit, so he decides to go rock climbing until it gets closer to time for their date.

No. Their outing. Just an outing. As neighbors. Acquaintances? Friends? Akaashi shakes his head and forces himself to speed up with his ascent. Apparently, his ruminating helps his speed because he ends up with a few onlookers, which embarrasses him more than being anxious about going out with Kuroo does.

**. . .**

“Okay. Akaashi’s gone.” Kuroo winks at Bokuto who he’s video chatting with. “Let’s do this before he gets back.”

“Bro, not that I’m complaining, but why exactly are we having phone sex when you very well could be getting laid later tonight?” Bokuto raises his eyebrows and shakes his head like he’s disappointed that Kuroo didn’t think of that earlier. “Besides, didn’t you say he’s heard us have sex before _and_ knows we’re together? Why do you want to hide our sexual escapades now? You’ve never been shy about it before. Like ever. Pretty sure I’ve seen you fuck at least seven other people before we got together.”

“Don’t you think it’s kinda rude to flaunt my sexual escapades in front of him? You’ve gotten mean in your old age.” Kuroo points to Bokuto dramatically, eliciting an over-dramatic gasp out of him.

“I don’t wanna be mean!” Bokuto whines.

“I know, buddy. I know.”

“But I still don’t get it.”

Kuroo didn’t really have a good reason for it. It just felt wrong to let Akaashi hear him and Bokuto having phone sex right before their date. And it _is_ a date even if Akaashi didn’t seem very ecstatic or convinced about it. Maybe he just didn’t have a very wide range of facial expressions. Or didn’t like him that much. It was hard to say which.

“I kind of like him.” Kuroo rubs his neck with his free hand. “It’s been a while since I’ve dated any one and I don’t want to accidently scare him away.”

“Ohhhooo. My little Tetsu’s in love!” Bokuto gives a shit eating grin.

“Yeah, yeah. I still love your dumb owl ass for some reason.” Kuroo rolls his eyes. “So, anyway. What do you want to do today?”

“Love you too.” Bokuto blows a kiss to the phone. “I want to watch you fuck yourself on a dildo while jerking off.”

Kuroo blinks at Bokuto a few times at his immediate reply. “Well, that’s not oddly specific at all.”

“Sitting on one of the kitchen chairs with the camera set so I can see almost your whole body and especially the sexy faces you make.”

“Aw. You miss me.”

Bokuto slowly pans the camera down his body. He’s already entirely naked, hard, and dripping with precum. “You can say that again.”

“Only two more weeks. Then we can fuck until one or both of us has to be hospitalized.”

“You mean you’re not going to fuck the shit out of our neighbor while your boyfriend is away hard at work?” Bokuto dramatically drapes the back of his hand over his forehead.

Kuroo bites his lip. “I’d like to, but I don’t think it’s going to happen that fast.”

Bokuto’s eyes flutter a little and he lets out a small moan. “Why don’t you pretend I’m fucking you as Akaashi’s touching you for me?”

Kuroo’s eyes widen a bit at the thought and he bites his lip. “Shit, bro. You are the smartest man alive. You deserve awards. Hold on while I get things set up.” He puts the phone down to go run to get the dildo and move the chair.

“Don’t take too long or I’ll just jerk myself off!” Bokuto calls from the phone, barely audible.

Kuroo scrambles to pick the phone up again. “Even if you cum from that, you’ll still be able to go at least twice more, so don’t make it sound like a legitimate threat.” He rolls his eyes before setting the phone back down, so he can start stripping and grab the kitchen chair.

“I could’ve just come from an orgy for all you know!” Bokuto shouts into the phone.

Kuroo shakes his head as he continues getting things ready. “And I would be so proud of you if you did, but the severe lack of hickies, lipstick, and sex hair tell me otherwise!”

“When I get back, I want a threesome!”

Kuroo picks the phone back up and purses his lips at Bokuto. “No promises there, buddy. We don’t even know if he’s into me, much less you.”

“Look at these muscles! How could he not be into me?”

“Meh.”

Bokuto lets out an overexaggerated gasp and his mouth makes an ‘o’. “You’re uninvited to my threesome! You’ve been blocked, unfriended, and reported! My NSA agent will have a word with your NSA agent!”

“Oh? Is that so?” Kuroo sets his phone on the stand that is just the perfect distance for Bokuto to be able to see what he’d requested. Not that he knew that distance just cause. Years of experience came into play here. He walks backward so Bokuto can see him fully nude with the chair and dildo in the background. “I guess you’re not invited to my free show here. Maybe I’ll just do this with someone else.” Kuroo shrugs before biting his lip and giving Bokuto look he was sure that would drive him wild.

“Holy fuck. Tetsu, baby, you know you’re my favorite sex partner. I didn’t mean uninvited. I meant you don’t need an invitation because you’re already on the VIP list, baby.”

“Such a smooth talker. Now. Did you have any more oddly specific requests for today?”

“Just listen to everything I say and you’ll be satisfied enough that you won’t try to jump our hot neighbor’s bones.”

“Only if they’re reasonable.”

“Fine.”

“And I want to see you jerk off and talk to me.”

“Anything you want, babe.”

The screen changes multiple times as Bokuto shifts around finding a place to put the camera. He winds up so that he’s sitting on the end of the bed with his phone on a dresser or something.

“Mm. Bro, you look extra beefy today.” Kuroo gives a wink.

“That type of flattery will get you everywhere, Tetsu.”

Kuroo has a visible shiver run through him from looking at Bokuto naked while he says his given name. He looks toward the clock. Time is of the essence for this session.

“We need to get started. What would you like me to do first?”

“Call me master?”

“No.”

“Damn. I thought that might work. Okay. I want to watch you jerk off for a little bit.”

“You see that, like, every day.” Kuroo deadpans.

“Yeah, but not on camera!”

“Fine!”

Kuroo backs up a little more so he can stand up comfortably instead of hunching over. He runs one hand down his chest while looking directly at the camera smirking. When his hand gets far enough down that it brushes his pubic hair, he gives a soft moan and moves his hand around to grab his own ass and make his way back up to his nipples.

Bokuto’s vibrating in anticipation as he slowly strokes himself watching like he’s never seen Kuroo naked before.

Kuroo runs both hands over his nipples and pinches them lightly before running his hands slowly down his stomach. He grasps his half-hard cock with one hand and lightly fondles his balls with the other.

Bokuto lets out a low growl as Kuroo starts to slowly stroke himself to a full erection.

“I wish I was there to touch you.”

“I know you do, buddy. When you get back, you can touch me all you want.”

“When I get back, I want you to fuck me again.” Bokuto lets out a low whine as he thinks about it.

Kuroo feels a shiver go through his whole body and go straight to his dick. He starts to stroke faster and closes his eyes, imagining thrusting in and out of Bokuto.

“You’ve got it, Kou. I’ll fuck you as much as you want.” Kuroo gives a little moan thinking about it and missing his partner.

“And Akaashi? Will you fuck him as much as I want you to?”

Akaashi pops into Kuroo’s mind at the mention of his name and he bites back a smile. “If he wants to, I would. He’s tall, but he’s got a smaller frame. I want to feel what it’s like to have his hips in my hands as I thrust in and out of him.”

“Think you’re ready to take the dildo?”

“Mhm.”

“Alright. Slowly lower yourself onto it for me, okay?”

Kuroo reluctantly stops touching himself and walks toward the chair. He positions himself over the dildo with his legs spread widely so Bokuto can see everything.

“Can you see everything?”

“You’re beautiful, Tetsu. You can lower yourself whenever you’re ready.”

Bokuto’s voice is breathy and even though Kuroo can’t see him too well since he’s so far away now, he knows Bokuto’s enjoying this immensely.

Kuroo places both hands on his thighs and slowly starts to slide down the well-lubed dildo. As it enters him, he snaps his eyes shut and throws his head back at the sensation. He lets out a loud moan as it stretches him open, making him miss Bokuto’s hot cock inside him even more.

Kuroo lets out a few more moans before gathering his thoughts again. “Now what?”

“Don’t touch yourself and slowly fuck yourself on it.”

Kuroo lifts himself up and slams himself back down hard.

“You’re.”

Slam.

“Getting.”

Slam.

“Mean.”

Slam.

“In your old age.”

Kuroo moans out and still his hips. He snaps his eyes back shut and bites his lip trying to will himself not to come yet.

Bokuto lets out a small chuckle. “You seem to like it though. Did you come?”

Eyes still closed, Kuroo lets out a deep breath and shakes his head.

“Good. You can touch yourself now. Fuck yourself on the dildo while touching yourself and tell me more about this Akaashi. You were saying something about his hips.”

Kuroo whimpers a little as he imagines a naked Akaashi in front of him.

“He’s got a small frame.” Kuroo strokes himself slowly and closes his eyes to imagine Akaashi better. “And these piercing grey-blue eyes that could strike me down. He’s so pretty too.”

“How pretty?” Bokuto lets out a small moan.

“Easily the prettiest human being I’ve ever seen. And he’s so reserved. But also sassy as hell. I can’t help but imagine what his face would look like as he cries my name out in bed.” Kuroo lets out a moan as a shudder runs through his whole body. He forces himself to stop as he feels an orgasm building.

“Mm. Tetsu, tell me more. What do you want to do with him in bed?”

“I’d start out slow, just touching and kissing every inch of his body until he’s whining for more. I’d kiss up his thighs as I slowly stoke him and take in the smell of his sweat while just watching him moan and squirm. When he starts panting and working his hips against me stroking him, I’d spread his legs further and eat him out until I feel his legs shaking and the only thing that can come out of his mouth is moans and my name.”

Kuroo lets out another moan and fucks himself harder on the dildo, causing it to make squelching sounds. He pants and strokes himself harder along with it.

“By that point, he’d pull me up to kiss him and beg me to fuck him already. I’d kiss him deeply while I bury my cock inside him. He’d moan into my mouth breaking our kiss and press his hips against me to feel more of me while I thrust inside him.”

The apartment if filled with only the sounds of Kuroo’s moans, the squelching of the dildo going in and out of his ass, and the sound of his ass slapping the chair as he bounces up and down.

“He’d cry my name out while clawing at my back and leaving hickies anywhere he can reach. I’d slam into him while stroking him until he comes while moaning my name.”

Kuroo lets out a loud moan in orgasm as he imagines coming inside Akaashi’s tight asshole as he cries Kuroo’s name against his collarbone where he’d just given him a hickey.

Kuroo pants, stroking himself through his orgasm. At some point, he’d heard a particularly loud groan from Bokuto, but everything was kind of fuzzy right now.

“Bro. That was HOT.” Bokuto sleepily murmurs on the other side of the phone.

Kuroo slowly comes back to reality and pulls himself from the chair, lube and sweat dripping down his ass and legs. Cum drips down his stomach and thighs where he’d spilled everywhere. Dazed, he walks over to his phone and picks it up. Bokuto’s already lying down in bed looking sleepy.

“It was. That was a great idea, Kou.” Kuroo pants, slowly making his way to the bed and collapsing on it.

“If you two ever fuck, I have to see it.” Bokuto sleepily requests before letting out a yawn.

“You’ve got a VIP card to any threesomes I have.”

“Good. Do you think you’ll be able to be a gentleman on your date later now?”

Kuroo buries his face in the pillow. “No. Now I just want to fuck him more.”

Bokuto lets out a loud laugh. “Round two?”

“Can’t. He’ll be home any minute. If he hears me jerking off while calling his name, I’m pretty sure he’ll press charges. Besides,” Kuroo stifles a yawn, “I’m so tired now.”

“Me too.” Bokuto’s eyes start to droop. “Remember to jerk off in the shower before you leave and tell me what happened as soon as possible.”

“Will do, dork.”

“Have a good nap, Tetsurou. Good night.” Bokuto blows a kiss to the camera and gives Kuroo a soft sleepy smile.

_I miss you._

Kuroo blows Bokuto a kiss back. “Good night, Koutarou.”

**. . .**

Akaashi decides to call it quits on rock climbing around eleven since he’s in desperate need of a shower now and he’s kind of exhausted. When he gets into his apartment, there’s a soft knock on his door. Already knowing who it is, he prepares for the worst and opens it hoping he doesn’t smell too bad.

“Hey, good lookin’. I was worried you’d left the country.” Kuroo smirks as he leans on the doorframe. His hair is even more wild than usual and there’s little dark circles under his eyes.

_Did he stay up all night doing homework?_

“Just finished buying my plane ticket from some shady yakuza. They have them for practically nothing. I guess it’s all profit when they’re stolen. Had to kill a few people to get to the guy selling them though.”

“Oh? Decide where you’re going yet?”

“It’s up in the air still. I know English and enough Mandarin Chinese to get by, so I could go almost anywhere. Although I do hear that the winters in Russia are harsh enough to keep anyone from coming after you, so that’s always an option as well.”

“What time does your flight leave?”

“Not ‘till later. I have to burn all my possessions and leave no trace of my existence lest the murders of those yakuza come back to me.” Akaashi pauses and rubs his chin in thought. “Actually, you’re a liability too. You may have to mysteriously disappear too. Don’t worry, Kenma will take great care of Bagheera for you.”

“He’d spoil her way too much.” Kuroo shakes his head. “Before you off me and vanish forever, I want to try to convince you otherwise with our date today.”

_There’s that word again. Date. Date. Date. Friends have dates._

“I had to kill some people for these tickets, it’d have to be a hell of a date for me to not use them. Disneyland at the minimum.”

Kuroo’s eyes widen and he gets that childish twinkle. “Do you want to go to Disneyland? We can go to Disneyland.”

_Such a child._

“That was a joke, Kuroo-san.”

“I know.” Kuroo pouts. “I just haven’t been in a long time.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not really fun to go alone.” Kuroo wrinkles his nose.

_Oh, right. Can’t be seen kissing and being super friendly with Bokuto-san in a place like that._

“Well, I’ve already run, rock climbed, and fought my way into a yakuza lair today, so I’d like to do something a little less exhausting than meandering around Disneyland.”

“You must be hungry then.” Kuroo gives a wink and pushes himself off the doorframe. “We’ll do that first then. I’ve been struggling to figure out what you’d like. Guess my dating game is just rusty.” He takes a few steps backwards to his own apartment. “I finished all my assignments already, so if you want to leave earlier we can.”

“Sure. I’ll come get you in a bit.”

“Or you could text me, so I could have your number.”

Akaashi gives an evil smirk. “Or you could just ask Kenma for it.”

Akaashi catches Kuroo’s face fall into shock as he shuts the door on him.

_I think I just murdered a man._

He shakes his head at himself before going to shower.

**. . .**

When Kuroo opens the door, Akaashi makes a small surprised squeak at how handsome Kuroo is when he dresses up. Not to say that he’s not normally attractive or dressed terribly, but there’s a big difference between a t-shirt and jeans and what he’s got on now.

He’s wearing a dark blue V-neck with a casual black blazer over it matched with black skinny jeans that Akaashi’s not sure if he wants them off or on. Maybe on, pushed down enough so Kuroo can pull out his cock, and Akaashi can watch him stroke himself.

_SHUT UP BRAIN._

Away from Kuroo’s crotch, he’s got on a small black leather necklace that highlights his gauges that makes Akaashi want to remove it with his teeth as he leaves hickies down Kuroo’s neck. The scent of cologne lingers in the air again.

_Don’t betray me now, body. No nosebleeds. No boners. Don’t. Do. This. To. Me._

“That was fast.”

_Not as fast as I can undress you. We should test that out. Now preferably. We can also do it later to see if the time changes. For science, you know. Replicating results and all that shit._

“I’m hungry and you promised me food.” Akaashi deadpans, really hoping Kuroo didn’t hear the squeak he’d made. Or could read his thoughts. He might die if Kuroo finds out he’s just as awful as he is.

“Ah. I almost forgot my husband only likes me for food.” Kuroo sighs as he puts on shoes and grabs keys.

_If you keep calling me your husband and looking like that I’m going to come untouched right now. I never dreamed I would have been as jealous of Bokuto-san as I am at this very instant._

“We got a divorce, remember?”

“Nope! I never signed papers and I don’t intend to! They don’t exist if I never sign them.”

_For the love of god, please stop calling me your husband. My little brain can’t handle it._

Akaashi awkwardly clears his throat. “Did you have anything in mind for lunch?”

“There’s a yakitori bar not too far from here that Bo and I really liked. Would you be up for that?”

_Yakitori bar, huh? Surely, it’s not the same one I got stuck at hiding from them._

Akaashi normally prided himself with being right most of the time. It was one of the things that typically pissed people off about him. He was more than accustomed to being called a know-it-all. He figured people were just never smart enough to be right most of the time. That if you were perceptive enough and had enough information, you could anticipate almost anything. Humans were the only tricky things to figure out. They’re irrational.

With Kuroo, apparently being right wasn’t an option. It pissed him off, but also impressed him. It wasn’t often he met someone who could not only match his intelligence, but also trick him as well. That’s what happens when you’re dealing with a sly cat, though.

It was the same yakitori bar. Not only was it the same, yakitori bar, but it was the same booth Akaashi had been sitting in before. Kuroo’s smug grin cemented the fact that Kuroo was toying with him.

_I take back all my previous statements. I’m starting to dislike this arrogant asshole. I’ve just been taken in by his good looks and my own horniness. He’s like one of those bright alluring flowers that turn out to be a predator in disguise._

“Kuroo-san, is there a particular reason why you chose this place?”

Kuroo has both his hands resting under his chin as he intently watches Akaashi look over the menu with an unwavering stare that reminds Akaashi of a big cat hunting its prey. That smirk still hasn’t left his face. “Nope. No reason. Why do you ask?” The smirk intensifies.

“Well, Kuroo-san, aside from that irritating smirk on your face, you’ve been staring very intently at me ever since we sat down.”

“We’re on a date and even if you don’t accept that, we’re still neighbors. Please call me Kuroo. Or even Tetsurou if you want to get lucky tonight.”

Akaashi’s mouth gapes open in disgust.

“And how do you know I haven’t been staring at you because you’re so handsome?” Kuroo quickly adds because somehow that’s supposed to make it better.

_Fuck you, heart. Stop fluttering. Be better than this. Dammit. Now I know what Kenma meant. I owe him an apology. Maybe I’ll just get Kuroo to make him another apple pie._

“Cut the crap, Kuroo.”

Kuroo bounces a little in his seat from Akaashi dropping the honorific. “Alright, alright. You’ll have to forgive me for teasing you. I forget that not everyone is as gullible as Bo.” He moves his hands so that he’s sitting on them and bounces up and down a little more.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“You really don’t know why?” Kuroo gives a slow grin and gives Akaashi a half-lidded stare.

_Why the hell does he look sexy like that?_

“Why don’t you enlighten me?”

Kuroo lets out a loud heart-felt chuckle. “Alright, alright. You caught me. I just wanted to bring you back to where I first laid eyes on a literal angel.”

Akaashi clicks his tongue.

_Yup. I hate him._

“What feels like an eternity ago,” Kuroo wistfully begins while looking off to the sky, “my best bro and I stopped in here because he has a, frankly terrifying, obsession with eating meat and is never quite satiated. While he was chatting with some fan of his, my cat-like hot guy senses picked up on an observer from this very corner. The sweet angel hid, though, and I thought I’d lost him forever.”

“That’s-“

“However,” Kuroo dramatically continues over Akaashi, “I saw him again later at the mailboxes at our apartment building. He hid then as well, and I feared he might be a stalker. My Bo is quite handsome. Then he kept popping up when Bo and I went running. One day I asked the landlord about a dark-haired beauty that might be sneaking around, and he informed me it was our ghostly quiet neighbor. Well! I just couldn’t believe my ears.” Kuroo concludes in a mock aristocratic tone.

“Please stop talking like that.”

Kuroo grins and rests his chin on his hands again. “You didn’t like my story.”

“Jury has returned from deliberation and they unanimously agree that I need to move immediately.”

Akaashi makes a big show of getting up, but Kuroo grabs his arm, pouting.

“I was just teasing. I didn’t think you were a stalker, but I did notice you around.”

“Why couldn’t you just say that instead of making a big deal out of it?” Akaashi rolls his eyes and shakes his head embarrassed.

“Because you’re cute when you blush.”

Akaashi feels his nostrils flaring and blush spread across his cheeks. Thankfully, the moment is broken by their server delivering some food.

_Oh, thank god. I don’t know how I keep getting this lucky. Maybe part of my life is a fairy tale like Kenma said._

Kuroo wrinkles his nose at Akaashi’s plate. “Is that asparagus ruining your bacon there?”

Akaashi blows on it and takes a vindictive bite out of his bacon wrapped asparagus. “Why, yes it is, and it is delicious. You should try it sometime.”

“But it’s asparagus. I rather die.”

“Well, today’s your lucky day then. You’re trying it.”

“No! I’m a cat. Cats don’t eat green food.” Kuroo backs up in his seat away from the offending vegetable.

_Time for some light bullying. Payback for calling me a stalker._

Akaashi smirks and quickly gets up and sits in the small booth beside Kuroo, forcing him against the wall with no escape unless he wanted to attempt diving under the table. He waves the skewer of asparagus in front of Kuroo’s face. “Too bad for you, cats can eat asparagus and bacon. Now try.”

Kuroo scrunches up his face in displeasure before leaning down and biting a piece off the skewer Akaashi was holding.

_I’m going to have to get my heart checked after this._

Akaashi remains planted in the seat beside Kuroo, pressing up against him in the small space, studying him as he chews.

“Alright. It’s not that bad.” Kuroo pouts in defeat.

“How do you live with an athlete and not eat vegetables?”

“Well,” Kuroo wraps his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder, giving him another minor heart attack. He holds his other hand out in the air like he’s showing off a painting that isn’t there. Or mansplaining. “Bo is a freak of nature and can eat whatever he wants without gaining weight. It’s not good for him, so I make him run extra, but he tries to live off meat, rice, and snacks.” Kuroo shakes his head softly. “It’s hard to cook healthy meals for just one. Most vegetables die lonely deaths in our home.”

“Sounds like my plants.”

Kuroo lets out a little snicker. “I’ll remind you to water your plants if you remind me to eat vegetables, so I won’t die young.”

“Looks like you’re dying young and my plants don’t stand a chance.” Akaashi dryly delivers before taking another bite of bacon wrapped asparagus.

There’s snickering and whispering from across the restaurant that draws Akaashi’s attention. A couple is looking over at them with frowns on their faces. They keep whispering back and forth, looking more and more disgruntled as they speak. Kuroo notices it too and Akaashi feels Kuroo’s entire body tense beside him.

Akaashi steadily meets their gaze and rests a hand on Kuroo’s chest. He’s met with more glares. Kuroo’s arm slips down Akaashi’s shoulder and his hand wraps around his arm, squeezing him tightly. Akaashi turns to face Kuroo. He’s looking pissed and like he’d get in-between anyone who would threaten Akaashi.

_I know it’s barbaric, but something about that is so sexy._

“Why don’t we give them a show?” Akaashi purrs as he nuzzles his face against Kuroo’s neck. He runs his lips softly along his neck making sure it looked nowhere near platonic.

Kuroo brings one hand up and interlaces his fingers with Akaashi’s on his chest. He’s not looking at Akaashi but staring daggers at the people across the restaurant. He’s slowly pulling Akaashi closer and closer to him in a protective manner.

There’s the sound of chairs scraping and complaining.

“They left.” Kuroo’s grip loosens on Akaashi and he gives a deep sigh.

Akaashi realizes his face is still at Kuroo’s neck and his hand on his chest. Embarrassed, he quickly unlatches himself from Kuroo and looks over to where the offenders where. Sure enough, the space is empty, and the staff is looking relieved.

Akaashi shakes his head to clear it and gets up to move back to his own seat. “Just because they’re small minded and bitter, that doesn’t mean they’ll ruin my day.” Akaashi aggravatedly takes a bite of food.

“You mean date.” Kuroo winks.

Akaashi gives Kuroo a cold glare that somehow results in a smile from Kuroo. He leans in with a smirk.

“I never pegged you for the spiteful type. Cozying up to me just to piss off some strangers.”

Akaashi chokes slightly and stares at Kuroo in horror. He has to down some water before he can speak properly again. “Don’t think it’s because I like you. I just get a lot of enjoyment from being petty.”

Kuroo fakes a full body shiver and squirms around. He starts to say something, but Akaashi shoves a vegetable skewer in his mouth. Kuroo gives a muffled yelp from shock and tries to chew what’s in his mouth.

“Don’t worry. I think cats can eat those vegetables too.” Akaashi smirks as he coolly sips his drink.

**. . .**

After lunch, the end up wandering around for a bit at Kuroo’s insistence. There’s always something to find or look at in Tokyo, so Akaashi doesn’t really mind. Kuroo is silly and Akaashi finds himself biting the insides of his mouth to keep from smiling so much.

Eventually, they wander into a bookstore because that’s what two nerds do on dates.

“Pick your favorite book. I’m going to buy it and a copy of my favorite for you to read.”

“You’re not going to buy porn for me to read, are you?” Akaashi warily raises an eyebrow at Kuroo.

“I wasn’t, but I am now!” Kuroo starts to walk away. “Meet me at the register when you’ve decided!”

_Why do I get a bad feeling about this?_

Akaashi wanders around, unsure of what to get. Picking a favorite book is like picking a favorite child; you’re not supposed to do it, so you just kinda pretend they’re all your favorite in hopes that no one will ever be able to tell the difference and maybe you’ll also forget.

_I needed more time to prepare for this. At least a week to compare and contrast between several books so I can narrow it down to ten and then randomly select one from that list. What if he thinks the book I pick is shit?_

Kuroo’s childlike giggle echoes between the bookshelves making Akaashi’s fight or flight senses flare up.

_Nope. Forget about whether or not he would like it. He’s going to make me suffer, so I’m going to make him suffer too._

Akaashi finally decides on one of the longest books he can find with a philosophical theme that would also rub salt into earlier wounds: _Demons_ by Dostoevsky.

He’s on his way to checkout, because there’s no reason for Kuroo to pay for a book that he probably won’t even like, when Kuroo swoops in behind him and grabs the book from his hand.

“I believe I said I’m paying for these today.”

“You paid for dinner and now you want to pay for a book that you may not even like. That doesn’t really seem fair to me.” Akaashi reaches to grab the book he’d picked for Kuroo.

Kuroo pulls the book out of Akaashi’s reach with a smug smile. “But it’s a date and I’m treating you today.”

_There’s that damn word again._

“Are you saying you don’t want to be treated even a little on this so-called date?”

Kuroo perks up at that. “I’m listening.”

“Let me at least buy the book I picked for you. Consider it a gift.”

“You. You want to buy me a gift?” Kuroo whispers.

“Sure.”

“Only if you write me a note in it then.” Kuroo grins and holds the book out to Akaashi.

Akaashi snatches it before Kuroo can change his mind. “I don’t know what good a note would do if you can’t read, but I’ll agree to your terms.”

“Oooh. So petty.”

After the bookstore Kuroo drags Akaashi into an ice cream parlor.

“Kuroo, if you think I’m sharing one of those huge couple parfaits with you, you’re terribly mistaken.”

“Just because I act dumb, it doesn’t mean I don’t have any common sense.” Kuroo shakes his head back and forth teasingly. “I just wanted to treat you to some dessert. They do custard here and it’s really delicious!”

“Custard?” Akaashi tilts his head slightly.

Kuroo beams at him. “It’s ice cream, but it’s thicker. It’s much, much better than the average ice cream.”

“I’m holding you to that. If it’s an empty promise, you’ll be making me homemade ice cream.”

“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be making you ice cream no matter how you feel about this?”

“Because, surprisingly, you’re capable of learning and you’ve finally realized that the moment you offered me beignets you committed to being my personal pastry chef.”

“Damn. I was always told my mouth would get me into trouble, but for once it’s finally paid off.”

“I feel bad for your parents.”

“Just my mom.”

“Oh. I’m sor-“

“Don’t worry about it.” Kuroo waves Akaashi’s words away. “You didn’t know. Plus,” Kuroo shrugs, “I’m glad it was just my mom. She’s told me my dad ended up being a real piece of work. We ended up dodging a bullet.”

“Oh.” Akaashi stares down at the menu and fidgets with the pages. “I’m glad you two are safe and happy now.” He pauses and realizes he’s made a major assumption. “You are safe and happy now, right?”

Kuroo lets out a heartfelt laugh. “Yeah. I can’t really speak too much for my mom, but she’s remarried and trying to live her best life. Outside of the stress of school, my life is pretty perfect.”

_Perfect? If it’s already perfect, then there’s not really room for me then. Guess it really is just a friend date._

Akaashi gives a small soft sad smile back at the menu. He knew it was too idealistic to believe that just maybe, maybe this would turn out to be something more, something lasting, but he couldn’t help himself from holding on to that hope.

“Hey,” Kuroo softly calls over, “you’re not still thinking about my family stuff, are you? I told you, it’s no big deal.”

_Right. Now’s not the time for moping. Need to enjoy this while I can._

“Just thinking. Do you and your step-father get along?”

“Step-mother and I think we’re going to drive my mother bonkers.” Kuroo gives a proud grin. “When we all get together, it’s just one bad pun after another. Then if Bo gets to come, his endless energy gets thrown in the mix and we’re like a natural disaster.”

Akaashi tries to give a genuine smile at that, but the way Kuroo keeps mentioning Bokuto dampens his ability to fake cheerfulness.

“I sound like a married man gushing about his husband, don’t I?” Kuroo sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry. We’ve just been partners for a long time. It’s hard not to talk about him.”

“Don’t worry about it. You two are a pair.”

“Ah, but I shouldn’t talk about him so much while I’m on a date with you! So, from here on out, Bo doesn’t even exist!” Kuroo pantomimes zipping his lips.

Akaashi quirks an eyebrow at him. “That’s worse than you calling him a side-ho.”

“Who?” Kuroo purrs innocently. “The only man in my life right now is you. And John Boyega because he’s bae.”

Akaashi snorts at that. “John Boyega is very handsome, but I really don’t mind if you talk about Bokuto-san. He’s an important part of your life. Don’t start bringing out the photo albums, though.”

“Damn. I was going to ask if you wanted to look at those when we got home.” Kuroo makes a dramatic snap.

_Home._

“What I do have a problem with, is that you keep talking instead of deciding on ice cream!”

“Ack!” Kuroo flips through the menu quickly before pointing his finger at one. “Strawberry shortcake! Done!”

“Strawberry shortcake? I didn’t take you for the type.”

“I used to not be. Remember I’d mentioned one of my ex’s before? The one that moved to Osaka? He loved strawberries. Eventually, he got me into the habit of eating strawberry things when I went out.” He gives a small smile that gets interrupted by the server taking their orders. The strawberry shortcake for Kuroo and chocolate peanut butter for Akaashi.

“You miss him?”

“A little bit. We still keep in touch, though. He’s dating his childhood crush now and when one of them works up enough courage, they’ll get married.” Kuroo gives a little snicker. “But I don’t miss him so much romantically anymore. I miss having more than one partner. It’s nice, you know?”

Akaashi shakes his head. “I’ve never had multiple partners or even dated a whole bunch.”

“Hmm. It takes a lot of work but can be very rewarding. Although, I’m not sure if rewarding is the right way to describe it. But, to me, it’s like I get to date my best friends. They each have different personalities, interests, and needs. Tsukki, my ex, was more of an academic like I am but he could never be as bubbly as Bo is, not that he’d want to be. But, we all had our things we could bond with or indulge in without forcing each other to endure things they hate. Plus, there’s twice as much cuddling.”

“Just cuddling, Kuroo-san?”

“Ha. Ha. Get your mind out of the gutter. Tsukki was ace so sex was off the table unless he asked for it.”

Akaashi jerks his head back in surprise.

Kuroo eyebrows furrow and he pouts. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“I guess I always assumed that sex was a big focus of polyamorous relationships.”

Kuroo leans forward and flicks Akaashi on the forehead lightly. “That’s some pretty closed-minded thinking.”

“I suppose so. I’m sorry.”

“Like any relationship, ours changes with the people involved. The focus depends on the participants.”

Their ice cream arrives. Akaashi stares down at his still feeling bad about his earlier comment.

“Kuroo-san, what I said earlier was insensitive and rude. I really am sorry.”

“Akaashi,” Kuroo takes a bite of his ice cream and melts a little, “you’ve been a little rude to me ever since we met. It’s one of the things I like about you. I’m not offended by what you said. You didn’t know. Since you know now, I’d be offended if you kept saying it.”

Akaashi frowns a little and takes a bite of his ice cream while he contemplates Kuroo’s word. He melts a little from the delicious flavor. He closes his eyes and hums from enjoyment.

Kuroo giggles across the table. “I told you you’d like it.”

When they finish ice cream, much to Akaashi’s displeasure as he wished the ice cream would keep coming until death, Kuroo leads them to a small densely tree filled park.

“Find your favorite spot and I’ll join you in a minute, okay?” Kuroo starts walking away and waves Akaashi on.

_My favorite spot? What does that even mean?_

Akaashi gives Kuroo’s back a confused look before he wanders around the mini forest with his hand lightly tracing along several of the trees. He comes across four trees positioned close together making a square.

_It’s like a little secluded room in a forest._

He grins and sits on the ground against a tree feeling the breeze and soaking up the fresh air.

“I couldn’t have picked a better spot even if I tried.” Kuroo grins as he walks up with two fabric cylinders.

Akashi furrows his eyebrows. “What did you get?”

“Hammocks!” Kuroo grins widely and starts unwrapping one of the duffle bags.

“Hammocks?”

“Yup! There’s a shop that rents hammocks over there. You said you were kind of tired and I know you like to read, so I thought you might enjoy relaxing and reading.” Kuroo gives a full toothed grin at Akaashi as he ties one of the hammocks to the tree.

“Have you done this before or am I going to end up falling on the ground?”

“I’m a knot tying expert! I got my badge from the boy scouts!”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

“Don’t make me bring out the photo albums!” Kuroo warns as he finishes tying one hammock up. He crawls into it. “See? If it can hold me, it can hold you.” He rolls back out of it. “That one’s yours. Try it out.”

Akaashi pulls himself from the ground and tentatively walks over to the hammock. He’s never been in a hammock before and doesn’t really know how to get into it gracefully, so he attempts to copy Kuroo’s tactic. It’s sloppy and he struggles to straighten up in it, but once he gets settled, it’s pretty nice. It’s cool under the trees and he can watch the leaves swaying in the wind. Little bits of sunlight sneak through that have a soothing effect.

“Okay!” Kuroo climbs in his own hammock with the books they’d purchased earlier in hand. There’s only a foot or so between the hammocks and they can easily reach out to each other if needed. “Time for books!” Kuroo cheers and digs the book he’d bought out of his bag for Akaashi.

He passes over a surprisingly medium sized book titled _Hope Never Dies_. On the cover there’s a picture of Obama and Biden in a car with Obama pointing at something not shown. Akaashi clicks his tongue in duress.

_Why am I not surprised? This is so perfectly Kuroo that his name is probably in the dedication and inspired by section._

“What is this?” Akaashi dryly asks.

Kuroo bounces a little in excitement causing his hammock to sway. “It’s the best thing you’ll ever read! Obama and Biden, the bromance of the century, solve a murder mystery together. You’re going to love it!” Kuroo grins manically before laying back in his own hammock and pulling out the book Akaashi got for him. “Demons? Big fan of Russian literature?” He turns a bit to get a good look at Akaashi.

“It’s part of my research for when I leave for Russia later today.” Akaashi deadpans. “Plus, I figured it’d shut you up for a long time since it’s so long.”

“Too bad for you. I’m a fast reader.”

“Can’t be a fast reader if you can’t read.”

“I want to read a full book report on Hope Never Dies by Monday morning.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Akaashi rolls his eyes and flips open his book. “If this is utter shit, you’re treating me to dinner too.”

The book is a rolling shitpost. Akaashi’s not surprised in the least. He hadn’t expected any better. At least it was better than openly reading porn in a park. He is surprised that he doesn’t hate it as much as anticipated though. Kuroo’s quiet the whole time intently reading. Or at least appearing to. He flips through pages faster than the average person.

When Akaashi’s eyes start to get tired, he lays his book on his chest and sprawls out a bit to relax even further. He lets his arms dangle off the hammock a little bit so he can feel the breeze on even more of his body.

_This is so nice. I could take a nap like this._

He sighs and closes his eyes to let them rest and maybe nap. Depends on how long Kuroo will say quiet before berating him to continue reading “the best thing he’ll ever read”. He’s starting to drift off when something tickles his hand. Fingers intertwine with his own. Sleepily, he opens his eyes and looks over to Kuroo on his left. He’s holding his book and flipping pages with his left hand still intently moving his eyes across the pages. His right hand is intertwined with Akaashi’s.

Akaashi takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again. Kuroo gives his hand a soft squeeze. Akaashi’s heart threatens to explode and his lungs forget what oxygen is supposed to. After his organs take a few seconds to recover, he gives a tentative squeeze back and sneaks a glance at Kuroo.

Kuroo has a soft grin that he’s not attempting to hide. He notices Akaashi looking at him and strokes Akaashi’s hand with his thumb.

_Nap is cancelled._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Texting isn’t convincing unless fucking gets autocorrected to ducking.
> 
> One of my friends told me they read “that every time someone calls their sexual partner ‘daddy’ the spirit of Sigmund Freud gets stronger”. Akaashi is going to level up Sigmund Freud’s ghost by the time this is over.
> 
> I bet y’all weren’t ready for that REALLY INTENSE hand holding. Lmao. Sorry I’m the worst. Remember this is somewhat slow burn, y’all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M REALLY GLAD EVERYONE LIKED THAT INTENSE HAND HOLDING LAST CHAPTER. THAT SHIT IS WHAT I’M ALL ABOUT!!!
> 
> Also. The line “Damn higher order intelligence cock blocking him.” In last chapter is the best thing I’ve ever written, and I might as well retire now.
> 
> I meant to get this out two weeks ago but I was *throws glitter* depressed.

“That’s it.”

“What. Do. You. Mean. That’s. It?”

“We were on our date, holding hands, wild I know, and he got a call from one of the other grad students saying that they’d accidently ruined one of the experiments he had in progress. He got all pale and weird about it and said he had to go. It reminded me of a superhero movie where some average guy gets a call and mysteriously disappears moments before a giant monster attacks.”

_Although, depending on the experiment, that may not be entirely inaccurate._

Akaashi sighs and looks over to Kenma across the table. Both of his hands are gripping the edge of the table so hard, Akaashi fears it might start cracking and eventually bust into a great display of wooden splinters that Kenma will psychically hone on Kuroo’s lifeforce and strike him down with. Kenma’s got that look he gets when new programmers mess things up and he has to work for days without sleep to fix it. He looks like a cat about to pounce a bit too much for Akaashi to be fully at ease. His eyes were locked on murder.

“You. Got. Cockblocked. By. A. _Science_. _Experiment_.” He growls back, grip tightening on the table.

“Yeah. Well.” Akaashi doesn’t really know what to say. He didn’t exactly get cockblocked. If anything, the call was a bit of relief. If they’d gone home together it would’ve been sex or awkward goodbyes. Neither of which he was ready for. It was like getting to save the game before fighting the boss.

“I can’t believe this. He is like the easiest person to get in bed.” Kenma shakes his head and angerly sips his drink. “And where the fuck is he today? Has he not fucking called? Did he come to his senses and leave the country before I found him?”

Akaashi frowns. “I’m not sure where he is. I haven’t heard him come in yet. Besides, didn’t you tell me to do better?”

Kenma closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hands back in a vice grip on the table. “It’s not for me to judge your life choices. If you want to climb him like the annoying, insipid, ugly, arrogant, horrible taste in movies, shitty laughing, tree he is, who am I to stop you?”

“That’s pretty mature of you.” Akaashi leans forward and smirks.

“You better sleep with him soon because I’m going to murder him. Can you believe the nerve? Skipping out on banging you, the most beautiful person to exist, into next week for what? _Science_? Fucking pathetic.” Kenma growls.

Internally Akaashi can help but to imagine Kenma standing over Kuroo with his foot on Kuroo’s neck making the “then perish” face. If Kuroo shows up anytime soon, he might get to experience it firsthand. It might be something he’d like to see. Fascinating, at least.

“We weren’t going to bang.”

“If you’re not going to bang him, then what’s the point of spending time with him?”

“Are you saying the sex is that good?”

Kenma’s grip on the table tightens and his eyes squinch up in a glare. “If I could pay games in prison, I would murder you right now.”

_So if it weren’t for the laws of this land?_

“No cats in prison either.” Akaashi hums and takes a bite of the sushi they’d ordered for lunch.

“Actually, “ Kenma purrs, “if it’s a life sentence, I can probably get a cat. Maybe a couple of games too but they’d be old.”

“Hmm. Also, to answer your earlier question, Kuroo doesn’t have my number so he can’t call me.”

Kenma pulls his hands from the table and massages his temples. “Keiji.” He sighs. “What the fuck? _Why_?”

“It never came up. He did give me his number once, but it was on some irritating note he’d left on my door, so I threw it away out of principle.”

Kenma’s head falls on the table in a resounding thunk.

“Why are you like this?”

“Causing pain and suffering to the hearts of men? It’s my favorite pastime. I put it on my resume in the professional experience portion, actually.”

“You mean causing yourself pain and suffering?”

“I am my own worst enemy.” Akaashi nods solemnly. “Anyway, are you so cranky because Bagheera’s not here?”

“Yes.”

_Damn. Brutally honest._

“Wait.” Kenma finally lifts his head from the table. “You don’t think Kuroo has come back yet, right?”

“I haven’t heard him. Usually if he’s there I’ll at least hear the TV. I think he’s so used to Bokuto-san it feels weird without constant noise. Why?”

“Bagheera.”

“Oh.” Akaashi frowns. “I didn’t think about her.”

“How could you forget about the best cat in all of goddamn existence?” Kenma gets up from his chair and starts to walk toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“If I know Kuro, there’s a key somewhere for that birdbrain Koutarou.” Kenma grumbles and they head out into the hall together.

“This is an apartment, Kenma. There’s no cliché welcome mat or flowerpot to hide a key under.”

Kenma’s eyes dart around looking for possible hiding places. “There.” They point to the trim above the door. “Those long ass fuckers would be the only ones who could see or reach it.”

Akaashi steps up to the door frame on his tiptoes and slides his hand against the base.

_Dust. Dust. This is gross. Somethi-_

There’s a clanging and Akaashi looks down to see a key that fell on the ground.

Kenma grabs the key and looks flatly at Akaashi. “Why do you even bother doubting me anymore?”

_Probably because that’s too much power for someone so angry and so tiny to have. And. I. Am. Afraid._

Kenma unlocks the door and steps right in without checking to even see if Kuroo’s home.

“Kenma!” Akaashi hisses after him. “What if he’s there, but asleep?”

“Payback for all the times he climbed in my house through the window like a damn heathen.” Kenma grumbles and throws off his shoes.

Bagheera happily comes trotting up to meet them. Kenma immediately swoops down to pick her up and turns to the door, which Akaashi is still blocking.

“Don’t even think about it.” He warns.

“Dammit.” Kenma turns back toward the apartment in search of Bagheera’s food bowls.

_Good thing that key is so high up. Otherwise there really would be a catnapping. Or a murder. I’m not sure which is worse right now._

There’s still food and water in the bowls, but Kenma searches around to give her more and fresh water. And a treat. Then several more treats because she’s “the best girl ever to exist, yes she is”.

Akaashi shifts awkwardly from leg to leg. “Are you satisfied? Can we go now?”

“Don’t you want to take this chance to snoop through everything?” Kenma raises an eyebrow like it’s the most obvious thing in the world to snoop through your crushes belongings when they’re not home.

_If he suggests that we steal underwear-_

“No, I want to leave before we get caught.”

“Don’t worry about it, Keiji. We’re not criminals. Just neighbors doing our civic duty of making sure Bagheera is properly taken care of. She’s a national treasure. Think about the consequences if she wasn’t properly cared for.” Kenma walks over to the couch and plops down.

“Why are you making yourself comfortable?”

“Continuing my civic duty. Did you know that isolation is the worst thing you can do to a living creature?”

_You do know how ironic that is right? You’re perpetually isolated._

“Keeen-maaaa.” Akaashi whines.

“Fine.” Kenma huffs. “Grab her food and water. We’ll go back to your apartment with her.”

“So we are catnapping? We’re stealing a national treasure?” Akaashi frowns and crosses his arms.

_I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence! Wait. No._

“Civic duty. Leave a note on the door saying we have her.”

“We’re tattling on ourselves?”

“Getting praise for doing a good deed.” Kenma shrugs as he picks Bagheera up and stares intently at Akaashi. “Leave him a required baking list for payment. First four items are apple pie.”

“Fine, but I’m telling him this was all your idea.”

“Go ahead. He isn’t going to say anything to me about it after I murder him for ditching you for _fucking_ _science_.”

**. . .**

There’s not a knock on Akaashi’s door until late in the evening. They’d long finished lunch and Kenma was napping on the couch with Bagheera while Akaashi watched TV and pretending not to exist.

Quietly as not to accidently wake Kenma, Akaashi gets up to open the door. Kuroo’s there looking dead tired and still in the same, although now wrinkled and stained, clothes from yesterday.

_Still hot. Maybe hotter? Both is good, though._

“Hey.” His voice is weak, and his eyes keep falling shut like he’s about to pass out. “Got your note. Thank you. Didn’t realize I’d be gone so long.”

“Everything turn out okay?” Akaashi steps aside to let him in.

Kuroo takes a deep sigh and rubs one hand over his face. “Not really. I lost weeks of work that I need for my dissertation, but I think I can make it up in the long run. At least I hope.” He pauses when he sees Kenma curled up with Bagheera. “I feel like I’ll get my hand bitten off if I wake him up and take my cat.” He lets out another sigh and his eyes close again running a hand over his face.

Akaashi stifles a laugh. “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll bring her over when Kenma leaves. If Kenma leaves.” He pauses and does some mental math. “If you hear me yelling for you, Kenma is trying to overpower me to steal Bagheera.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. Or risk you having to fight Kenma for our child.” Kuroo frowns. “You’ve already been taking care of her all day without me even having to ask and that’s after I had to bail on our date. Which, I’m really sorry for by the way.”

_Our child? I don’t want kids, but that sounds so sexy._

“Don’t worry about it.” Akaashi gives a soft smile and waves it away.

“I really am sorry about our date.” Kuroo frowns and yawns. “I’ll make it up to you. After sleep though. Can’t stay awake much longer. Not without death.”

“Go lie down.” Akaashi nudges him toward the door.

“I don’t want to leave you in taking charge of Bagheera.” He yawns again.

“That didn’t even make sense.” Akaashi shakes his head. “Go lie down in my bed then. That way you’re still here.”

“Can I?” Kuroo’s eyes fall closed again.

“Please do before you pass out in my living room. I’ll leave you on the floor if you do.”

Kuroo leans forward and wraps his arms around Akaashi in an embrace. He rests his chin on Akaashi’s shoulder and puts more weight on Akaashi than usual. He stays like that for longer than necessary and Akaashi starts to wonder if Kuroo fell asleep on him.

“Thank you.” Kuroo mumbles before heading to Akaashi’s bed. He doesn’t even change or remove clothing, he just faceplants on the bed and passes immediately.

Akaashi raises an eyebrow at the sight as he closes the door.

 _Impressive_.

**. . .**

Unsurprisingly, Kenma wakes up before Kuroo. Akaashi’s in the kitchen cooking for all three of them since it was past dinnertime. He was pretty sure Kuroo hadn’t eaten yet, possibly since yesterday, and it was always safer to wake Kenma to the smell of food and a cat to pet. Food was his best safety plan to quell Kenma’s morning rage. Like Kuroo, Akaashi feared his life when it came to waking Kenma up. He still didn’t know how Hinata was alive. The power of love was a strange thing. Or maybe he was just too blinding first thing after waking up to even attempt to murder. He was like some sort of stun grenade or something.

Akaashi hears Kenma do a little groan as he stretches on the couch and rubs his eyes. Bagheera is still sleeping by him since he’s ensured he’ll forever be her favorite through treats, play, and pats. He pets her with a sleepy, content smile on his face before realizing that Bagheera is still here and therefore Kuroo must not be back yet. Akaashi can see the moment that clicks in Kenma’s sleepy brain as he goes from openly content to furious.

“Your owner doesn’t deserve you. I’m going to murder him and take legal custody of you.”

Akaashi snickers and walks into the living room. “Kuroo is here, but he’s asleep.”

“Here?”

Akaashi hums and points to his closed bedroom door.

“He’s in your bed and you’re not even in there with him? It’s like you don’t even know how to seduce men.”

“He’s passed out, Kenma. I’m not that lowly.”

_Probably._

“Doesn’t matter. He’d wake up just long enough to do you.”

Akaashi gives Kenma a flat look.

“You should’ve done him, because now I’m going to kick his ass.” Kenma sets Bagheera down and stretches before starting to march to Akaashi’s bedroom.

Akaashi quickly intervenes by picking Kenma up by the armpits and dragging him back toward the kitchen. “Kick his ass later and not in my home. Catch him out in the street or something. I don’t want the cops here.”

“Keiji, he ditched you for _science_ and left his cat alone for twenty-four hours. He’s done too much evil to continue existing. It’s unforgivable.”

“Stop being so dramatic. The work he’d been doing for his dissertation was destroyed. He said he didn’t realize it’d take him so long to fix it. I don’t think he’d even slept until he got here.”

Kenma huffs. “He’s on probation. But only because you like him for some reason!”

“Good. Now why don’t you feed Bagheera some treats while I finish dinner?”

“Don’t feed him.”

“Feed everyone in the apartment? Got it.”

“Be better.”

Kuroo wakes up just before dinner finishes. He appears in the doorframe looking even more ragged and disheveled, if possible. His hair is everywhere and the bags under his eyes are clearly visible. Sleep didn’t seem to help at all.

_10/10 Would still bang into next week._

Bagheera runs up to him demanding to be picked up. He sits on the floor and she climbs on his lap and stands on her back legs to nuzzle her face against his.

 _Adorable_.

“You.” Kenma sits up and accuses Kuroo across the room with a voice that is nothing short of heart stopping.

Kuroo sleepily looks toward Kenma and frowns. “I know. I’m sorry. It was important, and I didn’t know I’d leave Bagheera so long. Thank you for getting her.”

“You’re not forgiven. Let it happen again and Bagheera will be mine.”

“Understood.”

“Now, now children.” Akaashi chides. “Go wash your hands. Dinner is ready.”

“Dinner?” Kuroo looks up to Akaashi, eyes still half asleep.

“Yes, dinner. I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.”

Kuroo looks back and forth between Akaashi and Kenma. He finally lands on Kenma. “How has he not been proposed to and swept away by some billionaire yet? Are you scaring away his romantic prospects?”

“Damn right I am.” Kenma growls.

Kuroo blankly stares at Kenma before turning to Akaashi. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m going to make it up to you for having to leave yesterday and watching Bagheera and for dinner. For everything, really. Thank you.”

_You could always do that with your body. Daily installments will work for me~._

“Don’t worry about it. I understand. You do still owe Kenma about a million apple pies, though.”

“And counting,” Kenma adds.

Dinner is uneventful if you don’t count Kuroo’s numerous apologies and Kenma’s constant threats with knife in hand, despite the meal not need a knife, as interesting. Akaashi hadn’t even given him a knife, but somehow Kenma had procured one and Akaashi wasn’t about to attempt to confiscate it. He wasn’t even sure it was one of his knives. Akaashi didn’t find the apologies and threats interesting and did his best to completely ignore the two in those regards. They leave shortly after dinner, Kenma since he’d been out all day, and Kuroo since he’d gotten a call from Bokuto and still needed more sleep. Lots of sleep from the looks of him. With the apartment empty, Akaashi feels a little sad. It feels colder and emptier than usual. Too big even, despite it being tiny. He wasn’t usually one for much noise, but with all the company lately, he was starting to get accustomed to it.

Probably the worst part of the whole weekend is when he gets in bed. Kuroo’s cologne and natural scent is lingering on the sheets. He does his best to ignore it. He really does, but that tingling feeling and overwhelming desire to be touched tell him he’s failing miserably.

_How sad would it be if I masturbated to my hot neighbor’s scent?_

His brain concludes not very sad at all. He lifts his shirt up and holds it in his mouth and pulls his pants down just enough, so he can stroke himself. He roughly strokes himself as he presses his face toward the pillow and remembers how hot Kuroo was yesterday. Those tight jeans that showcased those thighs still muscular from years of volleyball. That smile that was always a bit mischievous. The way he felt against Akaashi’s body every time they hugged. How sexy he is and how Akaashi’s so close to sleeping with him.

_I want him inside me. I want to feel him thrusting into me. I want to feel those muscular thighs in my hands. I want to feel that smirk brushing up against my skin, calling my name._

Imagining Kuroo in bed behind him jerking him off, he spills over onto his sheets with memorized sounds of Kuroo moaning from having sex with Bokuto. He rips the sheets off the bed and throws them on the floor instantly.

_Good riddance. You’re too dangerous smelling like Kuroo._

**. . .**

Next morning things proceed as normal. Kuroo sabotages Akaashi in the morning to go run. It’s quiet aside from Kuroo apologizing at least three more times. Akaashi’s not really sure what to say to him. Especially not after last night. Well. The part of last night that Kuroo didn’t know about and never needed to know about. Ever. Unless he wanted to help. God, Akaashi wanted him to want to help.

“Hey, uh.” Kuroo rubs the back of his neck and shuffles in-between his and Akaashi’s apartment doors. “I’ve got a little extra time this morning. Would it be okay if I make you a small breakfast? You’re always cooking for me and all.” He trails off, voice losing confidence with each word.

Akaashi answers in his softest voice with a smile playing on the edge of his lips. “Sure.”

Kuroo’s head shoots up and his giddiness returns. “Great! Uh. I’m gonna go shower and then I’ll make you something. I’ll keep my door unlocked.”

“Alright.” Akaashi tries to keep his smile under control before slipping into his apartment before Kuroo can say another word or see the excitement in his face.

_A cutie making me breakfast. This is something I could get used to. I could also go for some morning sex and breakfast too. Maybe it’ll be on the menu._

He tries to take a long shower and slowly pick out clothes. He ends up straightening up a few things too. And miraculously watering some of his plants. He doesn’t want to accidently come over too early and catch Kuroo in a compromised position half-naked and dripping wet while he looks for clothes all vulnerable and entirely too alluring.

Or maybe he really, really does and he’s just _trying_ to behave. God. Being a socially acceptable adult was hard. So. Damn. Hard.

Or maybe that was his dick just thinking about Kuroo half-naked and dripping wet? Who could say for sure?

It was his dick. Definitely his dick.

He finally works up the courage to head over when he hears pots and pans being moved around accompanied by music and singing.

_Loud even without Bokuto-san, the human embodiment of noise, there._

He gives a light knock at Kuroo’s door before heading in. Bagheera comes to greet him and he scoops her up on the way to the kitchen. Kuroo’s singing to himself and doing a little dance with his back turned to Akaashi.

“It’s a wonder how you and Bokuto-san haven’t been evicted for being so noisy. You’re such loud people.” Akaashi smirks to himself as he sits and pets Bagheera.

Kuroo does a little flinch, not having heard Akaashi come in, and does a half turn with a smile. “Well, thankfully, upstairs and downstairs can’t hear us. The only other person on this floor is you and for some reason you haven’t ever said a word about noise.” He stirs some eggs in a skillet. “Why is that anyway?”

Akaashi hums for a bit and stares at Bagheera instead of paying attention to Kuroo. Why didn’t he complain? Effort? Embarrassment? Depraved enjoyment?

“I don’t know. Maybe you just never bothered me enough to complain.”

Kuroo gives him a flat look before turning back to making breakfast. Akaashi can see eggs and little sausages. There’s some spread and sliced strawberries on the counter, but he doesn’t see anything else. No rice, soup, or other Japanese breakfast side dishes. He’s just about to ask when bread pops out of the toaster and makes him jump a little in surprise.

“Is that bread?”

“Yup!” Kuroo cheers as he places some more in the toaster.

“Where did you get bread?”

“I made it.”

_He says that like it’s the simplest thing in the world._

Akaashi clicks his tongue. “You can make bread?”

“Yeah. It’s not that hard. You can just bake it. I can teach you sometime. Even Bo can do it, so I know you can. If I teach you bread, then I can show you syrup and you can make your own French toast too.”

“I may take you up on that-“ Akaashi pauses as he watches Kuroo spread some Nutella on the toast, “What the hell are you doing to that perfectly good bread?”

Kuroo gives a light laugh and starts to spread it on the other slice. “Surely, you’ve heard of Nutella toast, right?”

Akaashi shakes his head lightly, horrified look on his face. He can’t believe Kuroo would just ruin bread like that.

“Really?” Kuroo asks a little incredulously. “Okay, well. You’re going to love it. First time I had it, I wanted to stick my dick in it. Didn’t eat anything else for breakfast for weeks.”

“There’s no way it’s that good.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow and starts to arrange strawberries on top. “We’ll see, we’ll see.”

“It’s, uh, simple.” Kuroo grimaces as he serves Akaashi a plate of Nutella toast, sausage, and eggs. “Breakfast isn’t really my forte. Usually we’re rushing.”

_I know what you mean. Who has the energy to cook when it’s not for a potential mate anyway?_

Akaashi gives him a soft smile. “I’m grateful for any food I didn’t have to make myself.”

“That’s good to hear because I’m about to spoil you with food to make it up to you for bailing the other day. Which, by the way, I’m still really sorry about.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes at the apology. Kuroo had apologized, what, at least five times today already? It wasn’t even that serious. He was tired of hearing it already. Kenma told him to keep count and if there were less than thirty-five apologies, then it wasn’t nearly enough. He was just going to have to lie to Kenma about it.

“I really am.” Kuroo looks down at his plate and pushes some food around.

“I told you not to worry about it. Besides, you already made me breakfast today. We can call it even.” He shrugs and takes a bite of the life-threatening looking Nutella toast. After one bite he closes his eyes and savors the taste.

There’s a giggling at the other end of the table.

Akaashi opens his eyes and stares at the chocolate strawberry wonder in his hand. “You were right. I want to stick my dick in it.”

_I’ll stick my dick in it, you stick your dick in me, and it’ll be a regular ‘ole threesome. How about it? Would Nutella work as lube?_

**. . .**

Kuroo continues to make Akaashi breakfast throughout the week. He even teaches him bread one night and they use some of Kuroo’s older bread to make French toast one morning. Things are going great. It’s all very domestic.

Except they hadn’t discussed going on another date.

Akaashi wanted to bring it up with every fiber of his being, but he also didn’t want to bring it up with every fiber of his being. He was truly a man at war with himself. And Kenma was at war with not catnapping and setting the entire damn building on fire out of frustration. Konoha, he was still pining for an autograph from Bokuto and crying over his wallet getting stolen from his last date.

Although, a date would bring them back to possibly having sex. Akaashi wanted Kuroo. Full stop. Period. Maybe an exclamation mark. He _wanted_ him. In bed. Preferably months ago. Cooking together was getting to be a little too hot between them. Lingering touches, hands around waists, wandering gazes. The kitchen was steamy and Akaashi’s self-control was reaching its breaking limit. He felt pathetic jerking off after Kuroo left for class in the morning. He was working on convincing himself it was a step up from porn.

There was still the issue that he hadn’t met Bokuto-san yet though. Akaashi believe that they were in a polyamorous relationship. Well. It was questionable when Kuroo said it, but Kenma didn’t contest it, so he felt safe in trusting Kuroo. Kenma would’ve shut Kuroo down quick if he thought he was lying to Akaashi for even an instant. Still, it felt wrong not having at least met Bokuto first.

So instead of bringing up going on another date, he let it go. Thankfully, Kuroo was too busy trying to make up for his lost work that he didn’t seem to have the time for a date.

**. . .**

“Bo’s coming back tomorrow.”

Akaashi and Kuroo are in Akaashi apartment, each laying out on one of Akaashi’s couches, facing away from each other and reading. Bagheera is nested on Akaashi’s legs. They hadn’t been speaking. In fact, they hadn’t spoken in over thirty minutes and Akaashi was starting to drift off in a nap when Kuroo’s voice startled him back awake.

“Oh. You must be excited to see him.”

“Yeah.” Kuroo’s voice is wistful. “I can’t wait to spend time with him again. Away tournaments are always hard.”

_You sound like an old married couple._

“Does this mean I’ll get my apartment back then?” Akaashi smirks into his book, but he feels a bit dead inside thinking about it. He’d grown accustomed to having an oversized cat in the house. It was going to feel lonely without him.

And Bagheera. But maybe he could always pet-sit? Kenma would probably demand it anyway.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Kuroo pouts and turns over to look at Akaashi.

_No. You can stay forever. Or at least until I find you annoying. I’ll send you back to Bokuto-san then. Maybe we can have shared custody?_

Akaashi calmly turns a page, still not looking at Kuroo. “If I wanted to get rid of you, I would’ve called the exterminator long, long ago.”

“Am I a bug now?” Kuroo scoffs indignantly.

“Some sort of unidentifiable pest.” Akaashi snorts at his own joke and smirks.

Kuroo chunks a pillow at him, causing Akaashi to drop his book on the floor.

“Your _rudeness_ aside, since Bo’s coming back tomorrow, I’m going to make a nice dinner. Would you join us?”

Akaashi gives Kuroo a skeptical look and picks his book up off the floor. “You want me to third wheel on your date night?”

“Ugh!” Kuroo rolls his eyes and flops back down on the couch. “Sure. Let’s call it that. Are you coming?”

“No.”

“What? Why not?” Kuroo shoots back up to turn and look at Akaashi. “Bo really wants to meet you!”

“Why?”

“Uh.” A faint blush spread across Kuroo’s face. “He’s a social freak who’s friends with everyone. He already loves you since I’ve been spending all my time with you.”

“Uh huh. Still no.”

“I’ll make turtle cheesecake.”

“What time and would you like me to bring anything?”

Kuroo barks out in laughter. “I’m glad I know the secret to your time. Six would be great.”

“You were the one who said I only married you for your baking skills.”

_But I would also for those thighs wrapped around my head._

**. . .**

Kuroo leaves early the next morning before their usual run time to go meet Bokuto at the airport. Akaashi’s not at all painfully aware of Kuroo being gone at all. If anything, he starts his day totally normal; running until his legs give out on him and he almost vomits and then staring at his laptop while anxiously listening to the sounds of people on his floor.

He’s still just staring at his computer around eleven when he finally gives up working for the day. He pushes it away from him and lays his forehead on the table, arms still outstretched from pushing his laptop away.

_I have a crush on my neighbor. My neighbor’s boyfriend is coming home today. My neighbor’s boyfriend is Bokuto Koutarou, a famous person I admire greatly. I’m having dinner with my crush and Bokuto Koutarou. I’m going to shit myself. I’m going to literally shit my pants and be so embarrassed that I really will have to leave the country._

Akaashi groans, debating if he needs to start thinking of excuses to bail on this dinner. Waiting until they return and dramatically, not to mention loudly, vomiting incessantly is at the top of the list right now. Next is having a work crisis and having to spend time in the office even though he works from home. Farther down is forgetting he had plans with Kenma a few cities over. That one was probably the most unbelievable. Maybe he could just hide at Konoha’s? Or bring him? The awkwardness of watching him fawn over Bokuto with his weird straight man crush might overpower Akaashi’s own nervousness. He should probably get an autograph for him before he freaks out and accidently shits himself and has to leave the country for an unspecified amount of time.

He’s in the middle of researching life in Singapore when he hears tired footsteps and mumbles making their way down the hall. His whole body tenses at the sound even though he knows it’s unlikely that they’d want to come visit him right now anyway.

Their door unlocks and is shortly followed by Bokuto shouting, “Princess! Did you miss daddy?”. There’s several loud mroews in response followed by more cooing. When Bagheera finally gets tired of Bokuto’s attention, there’s low talking that Akaashi can’t decipher, not that he’s trying to.

He assumes that Bokuto would be tired and want to go to bed immediately after a long tournament and then traveling home. As per usual when he makes an assumption about those two, he’s wrong.

There’s giggling and low groans that permeate through the thin walls. Akaashi looks tiredly towards their apartment, knowing he should have known better. Without batting an eye, he gets up and moves to the couch that rests on against the shared wall, stripping as he walks. His classically trained dick is already hard by the time he crosses the room He’s tired of trying to pretend that hearing his neighbors bang isn’t the most action he’s gotten in months. They know and haven’t quieted down, so apparently, they don’t care if he hears.

_Who knew this could be a perk of having loud neighbors? Who knew there were any perks?_

Akaashi strokes himself with his eyes closed just imagining his two neighbors over ecstatic to see each other again after weeks of being apart. Weeks of not feeling each other. He bites his lip as the groans turn into louder moans and he can hear murmurs of “I missed you” and “you feel so good”. Not getting to hear this delight for three weeks, Akaashi comes before he’d like to. He lays there listening to them finish while feeling horrified with himself.

_I just masturbated to my crush and The Bokuto Koutarou having sex. Again. I’m having dinner with them in approximately six hours. What. Is. Wrong. With Me?_

**. . .**

The second Bokuto, incognito as possible with hat and face mask, sees Kuroo he bounds over and jumps into Kuroo’s arms, bags and all. Thankfully, Kuroo had fully anticipated this since it’s what Bokuto did every time there was a long tournament, in public and unabashed.

“KUROOOO!” Bokuto nuzzles his face against him while Kuroo struggles to keep both of them from tumbling over. “I missed you so much! You need to start going to tournaments with me again!”

Kuroo lets out a strained “Please get down.”

Bokuto pouts but decides he can use his own legs. Kuroo leans in and gives him a quick peck on the cheek to partially make up for not being held.

“Sorry, buddy. If you’re still playing when I finish graduate school, I’ll make sure to come to every tournament.”

Bokuto’s eyes light up and Kuroo can see him gasping from behind the mask. “Sounds like I’ll have to keep hanging in there for a few more years! Five, right?”

“At best.” Kuroo grimaces. “But up to seven.”

Bokuto’s eyebrows raise so that his hat partially covers them, and his eyes start darting around trying to do calculations. After a few seconds of thinking, he lowers his eyebrows again and gives a smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. “Well! I’ll do my best then!”

Kuroo tries to hold back wincing in reaction. Bokuto _loved_ volleyball but he didn’t want to continue playing professionally forever. He’d played since he was little, went to nationals in high school, went to nationals in college, and went straight to playing for the national team when he graduated, which was about six years ago now. The last two decades of his life had mostly been dedicated to volleyball. That was rough even for him. Kuroo anticipated Bokuto calling it quits after he hit the decade mark on the national team. He knew Bokuto was making him promises he probably wouldn’t be able to keep.

“Deal. I’ll graduate ASAP and come to all your tournaments. Until then, I’ll make sure to hit all the weekend ones.”

Bokuto bounces on his toes. “There’s one coming up!”

“I know.” Kuroo smirks before taking notice of the people starting to stare around them. Bokuto had a propensity to not keep his cover for very long. “Let’s head home.”

“Or,” Bokuto waggles his eyebrows at Kuroo, “we could stop at a love hotel on the way.”

“Bro. Broest of bros. You are the wisest man to ever man.”

**. . .**

There were always pros and cons to renting a room at a love hotel. Pro: readily available sex toys, you could be as loud as you wanted, and you didn’t have to clean up the mess after. Cons: getting suspicious looks as you rent a room for yourself because there’s no way your semi-famous boyfriend can be seen or rent it with you. Not to mention the gay factor was up in the air at some places.

“Maaaaan.” Kuroo groans when they finally get into their room. “I’ll never get used to people staring at me wondering if I murdered someone or if I’m just here to sadly masturbate by myself.”

“I’d like to watch you masturbate by yourself, sad or not.” Bokuto throatily suggests while digging in the one bag he didn’t temporarily store in a locker.

Kuroo drapes himself across the bed, staring at Bokuto’s back, and spreading his legs seductively. “You’ve been watching me do that for weeks. Wouldn’t you rather join in on the fun?”

Bokuto finally turns and flings some clothing at Kuroo. “Watching you is just an appetizer. I’ve been starving for you so long. I’m getting a full-course meal before we get home and then dessert when we get there.”

Kuroo snorts and examines what Bokuto had thrown at him; his long leggings he wore for volleyball. “Bro, I’m not wearing your smelly, dirty ass leggings for sex.”

“They’re cleeeaaan.” Bokuto whines before stripping off his shirt and going to rummage through the sex toys available to buy in the room. “You put this on our joint account, right?”

“Uh. Yeah?” Kuroo tugs his shirt off while staring at the leggings. Bokuto’s legging kink never ceased to amaze him. He was partially surprised that Bokuto didn’t arouse himself whenever he wore them, but whatever. Kuroo’s thighs were his best feature anyway. The leggings only made them look better.

There’s a devious chuckle followed by “Good” and the sound of a package ripping open.

Leggings on, Kuroo sits on the edge of the bed with his legs spread. He’s hard just from anticipation of getting to sleep with Bokuto again and Bokuto’s not even naked yet.

“Mmmn. Booo.” Kuroo whines, tired of waiting already.

“I’m here!” He turns and chunks something at Kuroo before quickly stripping.

Kuroo catches the object; a remote-controlled vibrating egg. “Ohh~. Getting a little saucy to start off with?”

“Pshh.” Bokuto tosses some lube on the bed and walks over, a couple of condoms in hand. “As soon as you touch me I’m probably going to come instantaneously.”

“Should’ve been having those orgies to keep your stamina up for me.”

Bokuto snorts, throws the condoms beside the lube, straddles Kuroo to where he’s sitting on his lap, but their cocks can rub against each other. Both of them let out a small moan, not having been without each other like this for a long time. Kuroo takes both of their cocks into his hand and strokes while Bokuto wraps his arms around Kuroo’s neck for balance so he can move his hips.

“I missed you.”

“Are you talking to me or my dick?” Kuroo winks.

“Who is you? I’m just here to get this dick inside me since I have all next week off.”

“So.” Kuroo leans in to kiss Bokuto. “Damn.” He kisses him again. “Mean.” He nips Bokuto’s lip before opening his mouth to taste Bokuto.

Bokuto gives a low whine and leans closer to Kuroo, thrusting his hips. Kuroo grabs Bokuto’s ass, pulling him even closer, and speeds up stroking them both. Bokuto gets more rambunctious moving his hips and Kuroo can feel him getting close. Kuroo pulls his mouth from Bokuto’s and trails down his neck leaving wet kissing and biting him. Seconds later, Bokuto lets out a low whine and shoots on Kuroo’s stomach.

Kuroo smirks and moves both of his hands to Bokuto’s hair, kissing him and giving Bokuto a second to recover.

“I hope we didn’t rent a room just for that.” Kuroo smirks against Bokuto’s skin and sucking on his collarbone.

“I told you baby,” Bokuto pushes Kuroo onto his back, “I’m here for a full-course meal of exclusively you, Tetsurou.”

A visible chill goes through Kuroo and Bokuto smirks at him knowing full well what hearing his given name does to him. Bokuto grabs the vibrating egg and turns it on to a low setting. He waggles his eyebrows before running it over Kuroo’s nipples. Kuroo gives a little groan at the sensation and thrusts his hips up, begging for Bokuto to rub it against his cock instead.

“Tell me where you want it.” Bokuto purrs with that dangerous glint in his eyes that goes straight to Kuroo’s dick.

“In me.” Kuroo breathily replies before reaching down to stroke himself.

Bokuto smirks before getting off Kuroo. Kuroo scoots back on the bed to give more space and spreads his legs for Bokuto. Bokuto tosses the lube to Kuroo before getting up and going back to his stash of goodies.

“Wha-“ Kuroo whines out exasperated.

Bokuto comes right back with a dildo in hand. “I want to watch you stretch yourself and get off with the egg while I stretch myself since it’ll take me longer.”

“I’m starting to think you’d always be satisfied with me in leggings and masturbating.” Kuroo pouts, pouring some lube in his hand and passing it to Bokuto.

Bokuto pours some lube in his hand as well. He positions his hand at his entrance but doesn’t enter himself. Instead, he stares intently at Kuroo’s ass. “It’s one of my top ten favorite things to watch but being in you and you being in me are at the top of my list.”

“Is that so?” Kuroo purrs.

He rubs his hand softly over his hole and Bokuto mimics him. He slowly puts one finger in, carefully thrusting in an out, watching as Bokuto continues to match him.

“You’re number one on the list of favorite things.”

“Oh?” Kuroo grabs the egg and gently runs it across the bottom of his cock while adding another finger.

Bokuto only nods, adding another finger as well and whining. His eyes flicker up to meet Kuroo’s who’s staring at him intently, ready to bend Bokuto over and pound him.

Kuroo smirks and puts the egg against his glans. He wraps his hand around it and his cock, stroking himself slowly and putting in a third finger. He groans and arches his back, on edge especially since he can see Bokuto practically drooling at him.

Always one to enjoy giving a show, he removes his hands and tears open a condom. He slips it over the egg, adds some more lube to the condom, and shoves it in himself. He keeps two fingers inside the condom so he can continue to thrust it inside him. He lets out a moan, his hips lifting off the bed again. He has to pause and breathe for a moment before continuing. Bokuto wasn’t ready for him yet.

Bokuto’s looking absolutely rabid on his end of the bed. He’s lubing up the dildo, eyes wide and soaking up every inch of Kuroo. He runs one hand over Kuroo’s thigh, playing with the leggings as he goes.

Kuroo looks directly into Bokuto’s eyes and bites his lip. Slowly he starts stoking himself while shoving his fingers and the egg inside him. Bokuto’s eyes light up and he aligns the dildo with his own hole. He slowly presses down on it. He makes a face of discomfort, but keeps his eyes locked on Kuroo. When he’s made it to the base, he grabs the remote to the egg and turns it up a notch.

Kuroo shivers and gives out a groan from the increased vibration. He strokes and fingers himself harder, unable to keep playing as Bokuto’s eye candy, ready for an orgasm.

Bokuto watches with excitement and slowly moves up and down on the dildo until the movement starts to become easier. When it is, he turns the egg up to full intensity, and slides his fingers in Kuroo’s hole as well. He firmly thrusts them in and out of Kuroo while ramming the dildo inside himself. Kuroo lets out a loud moan before shooting all over himself.

He gasps for air and tries to gather his bearings. Bokuto lays on the bed beside him, nibbling his ear.

“You’re so beautiful, Tetsu.”

“I think I just saw god.” Kuroo gasps out.

“Not yet, you haven’t. By the time we’re done you may. We can see how many times we can fuck just before dying. Maybe then.”

“So sexy.” Kuroo runs his mostly clean hand through Bokuto’s hair and sloppily kisses him.

“You are.” Bokuto purrs back and bites Kuroo’s lip. “Will you fuck me now?”

“Aw. Bro. You don’t have to ask for that.” Kuroo snickers before rolling on top of Bokuto. “As a special offer, just for you, I’ll do you anytime.” He gives a wink.

Bokuto comically covers his mouth with both hands. “My hero!”

“Yeah, yeah. One of these days I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll lose that cocky mouth.”

“Bro. That’s what I need to be telling you.”

Kuroo rolls his eyes and reaches around to pull the still vibrating egg from his ass, but Bokuto grabs his hand.

“Keep it in there.”

“Brilliant idea. But it’s getting turned down or I’ll be like you and come instantly.”

“Hey! I didn’t have a hot neighbor to fuck!”

“Neither did I.” Kuroo mumbles, turning down the vibration and lining himself up with Bokuto.

“What?” Bokuto tries to pout, but it’s obvious his concentration is turning to more important things.

“Later.” Kuroo brushes it off before slowly sliding into Bokuto, studying him for any sign of pain or discomfort. He bottoms out and all he gets from Bokuto is a moan, so he figures it’s fine.

He starts to slowly, but roughly thrust in Bokuto. Bokuto’s instantly all moans. He grabs at the sheets, trying not to touch himself for as long as possible. Kuroo smirks and lifts one of Bokuto’s legs over his shoulder before slowly but fiercely pounding into him.

Bokuto snaps his eyes shut, panting, and clutches at the sheets harder. Kuroo speeds up and Bokuto opens his eyes again so he can see Kuroo fucking him. He whines, grabs the vibrator remote, and turns it up a notch. Kuroo groans in response and starts to quickly slam into Bokuto as hard as he can. Bokuto’s self-control finally wears out and he grabs his cock and starts stroking furiously.

Kuroo manages to slam into Bokuto a few more times before spilling inside him. Feeling and watching Kuroo orgasm sends Bokuto spilling over as well. Once partially recovered, Kuroo pulls out from Bokuto and pulls the egg from his ass. He collapses beside Bokuto trying to catch his breath.

Bokuto stares back at him sleepily. “Again in thirty minutes?”

“Make it twenty.”

**. . .**

Akaashi paces back and forth in his living room like an animal in a cage. It was only ten minutes until six and he was freaking out more than a virginal teenager about to meet their partner’s parents for the first time.

_I’m gonna be sick. I’m going to get over there and throw up. What if I throw up on Kuroo? What if I throw up on Bokuto? What if I throw up so hard I sh-_

A loud noise from his neighbors startles him into looking at their shared wall and losing his train of thought.

_Maybe I should’ve bought something else as a gift. Maybe neither of them will want to drink. Maybe it won’t pair well with the meal? Maybe they’d like confectionaries instead. Or a plant? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

There’s a knock on Akaashi’s door that makes his blood freeze. He whips his head around and stares at the offending door, repulsed that it allowed sound to permeate it and travel to his ears. How rude.

_Who the fuck?_

Akaashi cautiously tiptoes to the door and slowly opens it.

“Hello Akaashi!” A loud voice booms greeting him instantly. “Kuroo said you’d probably be over here freaking out and I should go retrieve you before you can sneak out and use that plane ticket to Russia you’ve been harboring.” He gives a wide grin that makes Akaashi’s heart stop again.

Akaashi’s brain stops and he stares at Bokuto Koutarou with a pained expression, unable to form thoughts, much less sentences.

Bokuto gives a hearty laugh and clasps Akaashi on the shoulder. “I was told I could carry you over. Do you want to do this the hard way or the easy way?”

_The hard way. Do me the hard way. Just do me at all. Holy fuck. I see why you two bang at least twice a day. Kuroo’s sexy and you’re sexy. There’s just too much sex appeal in that apartment. No wonder I’ve been masturbating to you two. The pheromones have drifted over and I’m too weak to fight against them._

Akaashi chokes on his spit and fakes a cough before he can push himself into speaking. “Ah. It’s nice to meet you, Bokuto-san. I can walk. I was just surprised.”

“Cause I’m so handsome?” Bokuto waggles his eyebrows and laughs at his own joke before stepping out of the way to let Akaashi out.

_A bit, yeah. You need to sue the camera crews because they are NOT doing you justice. You’re fucking gorgeous._

“I just wasn’t anticipating a herald. Let me just grab something real quick.”

_Yes. Sass is the way to make this situation so much easier. Piss him off, Keiji. That should make the night sooo much better._

He quickly walks back to the kitchen to grab the booze he’d bought for them. Bokuto gives a pout but doesn’t give a comeback. Akaashi attempts to give him a smile and follows him next door.

“Bro! I wrangled you one neighbor!” Bokuto shouts out as soon as he closes the door.

“Good job!” Kuroo calls from the kitchen. “I’m proud of you!”

Bagheera comes prancing up to them and Bokuto kneels to pick her up, but she passes him in favor of Akaashi.

“Princess! The betrayal!” He whines as Akaashi picks her up and scratches behind her ear.

“Sorry, Bokuto-san. I’ve found the key to Bagheera’s heart.” Akaashi smirks, following Bokuto into the kitchen.

_And your apartment ironically, but you don’t really need to know that._

“Oooh! What?” Bokuto bounces in place as he leans on the kitchen island.

Kuroo snorts, his back turned to them dealing with something on the stove. “The same way to your heart.”

Bokuto gives a loud gasp and stares at Akaashi with wide, disgusted eyes. “SEX?”

Akaashi’s face contorts into horror, pain, and astonishment at Bokuto’s stupidity.

“NO, YOU IDIOT! FOOD!” Kuroo screams before turning and smacking Bokuto with a ladle. “I fucking swear. Do you really think I’d ever let anyone hurt my cat? For fucks sake.” He grumbles to the stove.

Akaashi hides his face behind Bagheera in embarrassment.

Kuroo does a half turn so he can face Akaashi. “Sorry, Akaashi. I told you he has volleyballs for brains.” He rolls his eyes before turning back to his food.

“Who’s getting mean in their old age?” Bokuto grumbles and crosses his arms.

“You, you dick.”

Akaashi hides behind Bagheera and giggles.

_They really are like an old married couple._

“Anyway,” Kuroo hums, “I’ll serve dinner soon so you two can sit your happy asses down and get comfortable.”

Akaashi quirks and eyebrow at Kuroo’s back and silently laughs at him.

“Come on Akaashi!” Bokuto motions him to come sit at the dining table.

“Oh. I uh. I brought this for you.” He holds out the bottle as much as he can while still holding Bagheera.

“Yeet!” Bokuto cheers before grabbing it and immediately searching for glasses. “Thank you! Great timing for booze too! I just got back from a tournam-“ He stops mid-pour and stares at Akaashi with wide eyes.

“He already knows.” Kuroo supplies.

“Great! So I just finished a tournament and I have the next week off for “mandatory relaxation time” or some shit, so I get to freely drink!” He gives a big grin and passes it to Akaashi.

“You don’t want to take a vacation?” Akaashi takes a sip of his drink before cocking his head to the side slightly.

“No.” Bokuto scoffs. “I get bored! And sometimes when I go out people recognize me. I love talking to fans, but sometimes I like to just go out and exist, ya know?”

“The closest I can relate to that is avoiding former classmates and partners in the supermarket.” Akaashi smirks back.

“It’s exactly like that!” Bokuto exclaims, snapping and pointing to Akaashi.

_He’s a goof._

“How were tournaments, Bokuto-san?”

“Fucking incredible! There’s a lot of super strong teams right now and I. Fucking. Love. It.” He leans in closer and closer with each word. “The only bad part about it was that _somebody_ ,” he turns his head Kuroo’s direction to yell the somebody part, “is too busy with school and couldn’t come.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. It may be a good thing he didn’t go, though. Apparently one of the other students messed up something for his dissertation.”

“Please stop mentioning that tragedy.” Kuroo whines carrying in some food. “I’m still having nightmares about it.”

“Oh! We should watch a scary movie after this! What do you say, Akaashi?”

Akaashi snickers to himself and sets Bagheera on the floor. “Sure, Bokuto-san.”

“Drop the -san, okay? We’re all friends here.”

“Uhh.” Akaashi stares at Bokuto thinking about how much he respects and admires him. “You’ll have to forgive me, but I can’t right now.”

“Why not?” Bokuto’s entire demeanor deflates a bit.

“Uhhh.” Akaashi looks to Kuroo for help, but he just snorts and goes back to the kitchen.

_Thanks for nothing._

“You’re well respected and I’d hate to not show. You. that.”  Akaashi trails off knowing that it sounded ridiculous.

Kuroo snorts in the kitchen and breaks out into a hyena-like cackle. Bokuto looks embarrassed but soaks up the compliment.

“Akaaaassshhhhiiii. I just play volleyball. It’s not like I’m a doctor or teacher or run a non-profit or something truly amazing and deserving of high praise. I’m just me. I don’t even know what you meant by herald earlier.”

Kuroo breaks out into another fit of laughter in the kitchen and a clunking sound his heard like he fell or something.

Fully embarrassed Akaashi can only reply, “I will try, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto breaks out into a exuberant smile. “Good! Now I have the most important question to ask you.”

Dread flows through Akaashi’s veins.

_I didn’t mean to cuddle up next to your boyfriend a kiss on his neck. You see, there was this homoph-_

“Do you play volleyball?” Bokuto grins maniacally and leans in waiting for an answer.

_Even if I didn’t, I would for you. I would die for you. Or be your sex toy, whatever._

“I used to-“

“WILL YOU PLAY WITH ME SOME TIME?” Bokuto leans halfway over the table in his excitement.

_I’ll play with you right now if you strip. Or keep some clothes on. That’s sexy too._

There’s another hysterical laugh from the kitchen followed by a thud and Akaashi knows Kuroo fell on the floor this time.

_Serves you right._

“Phrasing, Bo!”

It takes a second for it to click with Bokuto, but once it does his face starts to turn bright red.

“I MEANT VOLLEYBALL! PLAY VOLLEYBALL!”

Akaashi snorts and wipes tears from the corners of his eyes. “I’d be delighted to play volleyball with you, Bokuto-san.”

“YEEESSSSS!”

Kuroo appears behind Akaashi’s chair and leans over to whisper in his hear.

“You’ve done goofed. You’ve made a friend for life now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nutella toast is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. And coffee. And maybe the overwhelming need to go to work so I don’t get cast out in the streets and die. But most of you already knew that about me. DISCLAIMER: DO. NO. USE. NUTELLA. AS. LUBE. That was a joke. Use lube as lube, kiddos. I don't want to be tagged on the "fanfic that uses things that should not be used as lube" list.
> 
> I’ve been told that if you don’t have a story about shitting yourself accidentally as an adult, you just haven’t experienced it yet. I learned that wisdom from women.
> 
> Akaashi: What's wrong with me??  
> You're a disaster gay.
> 
> Try saying the line " he was freaking out more than a virginal teenager about to meet their partner’s parents for the first time" with a southern accent. It's great.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to figure out why this trash have 300 kudos, but thanks??

Bokuto wakes up to Kuroo clinging to him, erect and covering one of his ears with Bokuto’s arm and the other smashed into the pillow, reinforced with his own arm.

“And he says I’m the horny one.” He whispers, or attempts to whisper since he really hadn’t learned how that worked, while shaking his head.

He rolls Kuroo onto his back, who’s eyes start to flutter open immediately. Bokuto kisses down his neck, trailing down his chest and stomach, until finally reaching his cock. He softly licks the tip before gently taking only the head in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Kuroo covers his eyes with an arm and gives a soft groan.

“How are you so horny after fucking our delicious snack of a neighbor for weeks and then our marathon yesterday? _I’m_ even intimidated by that kind of stamina.” Bokuto bobs further down on Kuroo, making him curl his toes against the sheets and lift his hips slightly toward Bokuto’s mouth.

“I didn’t fuck Akaashi. We went on one date, but all we did was hold hands.” Kuroo groans before thrusting lightly into Bokuto’s mouth a few times.

Bokuto pulls off Kuroo’s cock, making a popping sound. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth hangs open a bit in shock and disappointment. “You mean like hold hands while you were balls deep in him? Or like held his hand as you lured him into the bedroom like the majestic, irresistible piece of ass you are?”

“No. Like we were chilling in hammocks and reading and shit and I was holding his hand then that fuckwad had to ruin my research for my dissertation. I’ve been so busy trying to fix it that I haven’t even had time to take him on an apology date.” Kuroo moves his arm and lifts his head to eye Bokuto. “Also, can you not stop sucking my dick to remind me of all my failures in life? It kind of ruins the mood.”

“I’m just confused!” Bokuto takes Kuroo in his mouth and bobs down on him once before pulling away again. “You had three weeks and you spent all that time together and nothing? You’re losing your touch.”

Kuroo furrows his eyebrows at Bokuto and frowns. There’s a pressure on the back of Bokuto’s head as Kuroo presses him back down on to his cock.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“’etsu es eh ‘ethead.”

Kuroo grabs Bokuto’s hair more firmly and thrusts into his mouth hard several times. Bokuto’s eyes stay locked on Kuroo’s face. He’d meant to punish Bokuto, but the sensation sent Kuroo’s head flying back and his toes curling against the sheets again, letting out a low moan and he came in Bokuto’s mouth.

Bokuto licks his lips and wipes a little come that had gotten on his face. “Mm. You make the best breakfast.”

“That’s what your mom said.” Kuroo points up to the ceiling huffing. “Just kidding. Your mom’s a nice lady.”

“Ohoho? She’s a lot nicer than I’m about to be to you.” Bokuto grins before crawling over Kuroo. He puts his knees up to Kuroo’s armpits and grabs the headboard for support.

“You know I got an oral presentation today, right?” Kuroo sticks his lips in a pout out at him.

“Nope. You have two.” Bokuto snickers before tilting his hips forward so the tip of his cock is brushing against Kuroo’s lips. Kuroo doesn’t immediately open his mouth, so he rubs his precum on his lips making them shiny. “Now, now. You’ll fail your oral presentation if you don’t open your mouth.” Bokuto smirks, thoroughly enjoying teasing Kuroo.

Kuroo opens his mouth quickly and acts like he’s going to bite Bokuto’s dick but places his lips over his teeth and only puts a light pressure on the fake bite. Bokuto’s hisses and flinches backwards slightly until his head catches up. He thrusts lightly into Kuroo’s mouth and pulls one hand down to scratch behind his ear. “Does kitty need obedience school? Do you need to spend some time with Bokuto-sensei after class?”

Kuroo opens his mouth more and laughs around Bokuto’s cock. He shakes his head slightly at Bokuto’s antics before sucking hard causing Bokuto to give out a low groan.

“That’s right,” Bokuto purrs while running his hand along Kuroo’s face and watching him, “show Sensei how good you are at this.” He lightly thrusts in Kuroo’s mouth.

Kuroo’s hands find Bokuto’s hips and he rubs circular motions on him. He loosens his jaw a bit before giving a moan.

Bokuto’s eyes light up and he shoves harder into Kuroo’s mouth. Tears start to form in the corners of his eyes, but he keeps them locked on Bokuto.

“You’re so fucking sexy when you defy Sensei like this. I’m going to have to punish you.” He slams into Kuroo’s mouth, fucking his face. Tears start to freely flow from Kuroo’s eyes and the headboard is banging lightly against the wall. He hasn’t put pressure on Bokuto’s hips for him to stop, so he continues pounding Kuroo’s mouth. “That’s right. Show Sensei you’re sorry.”

Kuroo moans around Bokuto’s dick and hollows his cheeks tighter for more suction.

“Holy fuck, Tetsu. You’re so sexy.” Bokuto breaks play and slams into Kuroo’s mouth a few more times, being careful to not choke him.

Once his orgasm has passed, he notices Kuroo rubbing circles on his hips again. He slowly pulls himself from Kuroo’s mouth and makes himself eye level again. He cups Kuroo’s face with both hands to wipe his tears away before moving his thumbs to the hinges of his jaw and massaging. Kuroo gives a soft smile back and Bokuto can’t help but to kiss him.

“Too rough?”

“Keep massaging.” Kuroo croaks out before closing his eyes again.

Bokuto leans in again to kiss him. “Whatever you need, my love.”

**. . .**

Akaashi wakes to the sound of his neighbor’s headboard banging against the wall and a hangover that’s attempting to split his head in half like a block of firewood.

_Ah. Glad to hear things are back to normal. Wait. No. How can they even function right now? We drank the whole damn bottle. Wait. Maybe more than that? Everything’s hazy after a while._

Akaashi groans and rolls over in bed, determined to go back to sleep for a few hours or until he feels guilty enough to force himself out of bed to do work. He kind of had responsibilities to take care of, irresponsible choices or not. It was at times like these, he was more grateful than usual he didn’t have an office job. He’d stab someone.

He’s still dead to the world and wallowing in his hangover when he hears someone knocking at his door. Grumbling, he staggers out of bed to answer the pounding that was resonating inside his head with each thud.

“Keiji!” Bokuto cheers before locking him in a soul crushing hug.

Akaashi’s face winds up against Bokuto’s pecks.

_Please kill me like this. Can I grope them like breasts? Would he press charges if I did? Would he even notice? If he kicks my ass I still think I’d enjoy it._

Akaashi’s hand is raised in the air, fighting with his conscious and the need to touch the Boku-tiddies when he’s released from the embrace. He quickly lowers his hand before Bokuto can notice that he was contemplating sexual harassment first thing in the morning. Afternoon. Upon second meeting. What day was this even? And why was it so fucking bright?

“Were you still sleeping? I’m bored!” Bokuto whines in a pitch that shouldn’t exist. He’s louder in person than beyond the wall. He’s brutally loud when you’re nursing a hangover. “I’ve got time off since we just got back but there’s no way I can sit at home all day! Let’s go do something!”

Akaashi gives a groan before letting Bokuto in. Akaashi collapses on one of the couches before covering his face with a pillow. He can hear Bokuto following suit directly after.

“Still hungover dude? It’s noon!”

Akaashi holds back the urge to vomit.

_You two drink like Vikings. I don’t know how you’re even alive right now. I don’t know how I’m even alive. When did I even get back over here? Why is Bokuto-san even here? This is too much damn thought right now. Let me die._

He gives a groan in protest.

“I know what will help!” Bokuto cheers and Akaashi can hear him jumping up to his feet. “I’ll be right back!”

_I’ve heard an orgasm cures a hangover. Or is that a cold? Maybe both? We could always test it to figure it out. Fuck Google. He didn’t have to go to his place for condoms though. I have plenty here. Might need to check the expiration date on them but I’m sure there’s at least a couple worth using. God. I hope it’s sex. Just pound into me while I lay here for the first round. After a ten-minute break, I’ll make it worth your while._

There’s a clattering of noise as Bokuto bounds back into Akaashi’s apartment. It’d been months and he still didn’t understand how to enter apartments like a civilized adult. “Here ya go!”

Akaashi tentatively lifts the pillow from his face. Bokuto’s holding some energy drink out to him.

“It has electrolytes!”

_If you say it’s what plants crave, I’m going to scream and shove the entire bottle down your throat._

Akaashi sighs and tosses the pillow to the floor. He makes grabby hands and Bokuto hands the drink over, smiling.

_Might as well try it. It’s not as good as sex though._

“You know what else is great for a hangover?”

_It’s sex, Bokuto-san. It’s sex. I know you know what that is. You’ve already done it this morning. Once more won’t hurt. I know I’m not Kuroo, but you can call me by his name during if that will help sway you into saying yes._

“Curry!”

Akaashi puffs his cheeks out like he’s going to gag. He raises an eyebrow skeptically. “Curry, really?”

“Yup! Drink that and get dressed so we can go get some!”

_I guess a date is always a precursor to-. Ugh. I don’t feel well enough to think about Bokuto pounding me right now. Throwing up during sex would be worse than shitting myself out of nervousness. With how horny I am, I can’t believe I’m even capable of being hungover enough to not want to be fucked._

Akaashi’s about to protest, but in what he’s finding to be typical Bokuto manner, Bokuto’s not taking no for an answer. He’s already gone, presumably getting his things to leave. Akaashi gives a groan and chugs some of the drink down before going to his room to change. He carefully makes sure to lock his door, feeling that Bokuto is someone that doesn’t have a good sense of boundaries and would barge in to drag him out if he took too long. He wasn’t looking his prettiest to seduce anyone today. He needed to be peak hotness to compete with Kuroo to entice Bokuto.

By the time he’s dressed and ready, Bokuto’s back, sitting on his couch, grinning, and bouncing slightly in excitement.

_Oh, look. He invited himself back in._

_Where does that energy come from? Does he siphon it from others like some sort of energy sucking monster? Succubus?_

Bokuto leads, no drags, him to a curry place nearby. He chatters excitedly while Akaashi focuses on his head not exploding in the streets. That was an at home type of experience unless others were paying for it. He praises all the gods that Bokuto doesn’t drag him back to the yakitori bar or somewhere else he knows. He couldn’t chance ruining another favorite eat spot with haunting memories of throwing up curry in the bathroom while he makes Bokuto wait. Or hold his hair. Would Bokuto hold his hair? Maybe he’d have to try.

Bokuto talks and talks and talks. Then he talks some more. The only thing worse than all the talking he’s doing while Akaashi’s head is ringing like an ax colliding with a metal block, is how much he’s eating. Akaashi can barely stomach half a plate, but Bokuto eats at least three. Then he wants dessert. Akaashi closes his eyes and silently prays.

_Oh, holy being in the sky, or under the ground, or anywhere you are. Where ever and whoever or whatever you are. Any holy or unholy being, really. Please take this man in front of me. He may be so deliciously handsome that if I were fifteen years younger I would jerk off to magazine pictures of him, but if he keeps talking I’m going to rip his hair out and wear it as a victory crown._

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Akaashi! We should go see if there’s any good dessert places around here! Oh! Or we could get some honey toast!”

_God no. I can’t. I’m not strong enough._

“But, Bokuto-san, isn’t there still the turtle cheesecake Kuroo-san made last night? I’d hate for that to go to waste.”

“Oh!” Bokuto’s entire body does a jolt upward that vaguely reminds Akaashi of an exclamation mark.

_Yes, yes. That’s the dessert you want. You want to go home. You don’t want to drag me more places while I’m hungover. I am a Jedi master. You must listen to me._

He sneakily does Obi-Wan’s hand movement under the table.

“That’s a great idea! Let’s go!”

Akaashi’s hand flies to cover his mouth, the feeling of curry starting to have its second coming at the sound of eating something sweet. “I can’t.”

“Whaaa? Why not? You got something to do or ya watching your weight?”

Akaashi slowly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

_This dense motherfucker-_

“I still haven’t quite recovered from my hangover, Bokuto-san. I’m afraid eating something sweet will end with disaster. I would hate to waste Kuroo-san’s cheesecake,” he closes his mouth for a half second thinking about cheesecake, “like that.”

“Aw! Why didn’t you say you didn’t feel good still?” Bokuto claps him on the back forcefully. “Let’s get you back home for another energy drink!”

_I take my earlier comment back because I said it too soon. It didn’t have enough rage packed behind it. This dense motherfucker-_

Akaashi sighs and gives in to Bokuto trying to pull him home now.

_At least now I can attempt to escape and take a nap. I’ll wake up later to do work. Probably._

He doesn’t escape. There is no escape from this muscular, dense, excited idiot. Bokuto pulls him into his apartment to grab another drink for Akaashi and for cheesecake for himself.

“Sit! Sit! Drink and pet Bagheera. You’ll feel better. Consider it animal therapy.”

_I’m going to need animal therapy by the end of the day. Maybe this is why Kuroo-san wanted a cat in the first place. Bagheera grounds him from murdering you._

Too tired and too sick to fight, Akaashi plops down on the couch and lays with a pillow covering his face, crying internally.

“You’re sure you don’t want cake?”

_I want sweet death. It calls for me. It sounds strangely like silence and my steady breathing._

“Positive.”

“M’kay! I’ll make sure to save you some! Kuroo did make it especially for you, after all!”

“Please stop yelling at me.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Bokuto whispers in what’s actually a volume that doesn’t make Akaashi want to puke. “I forget sometimes.”

Bokuto’s footsteps fade away and there’s shuffling around. Akaashi’s just wishing the noise would stop. And slightly estimating how long it’d take to slip out the door. His calculations come to a halt when the footsteps approach him.

“Here. This will help.” Bokuto whispers.

Akaashi lifts the pillow up to see Bokuto offering him medicine and a wet washcloth.

_Huh. Even this mess can be helpful. Although it does feel weird to have him taking care of me._

“Thank you, Bokuto-san.”

“Welcome~.” Bokuto chimes before sitting down in front of his cheesecake. “And you can still drop the -san. You did last night~.”

“Ugh. What happened last night? I remember having dinner and then nothing.”

“You and Kuroo got wasted and ran out in the streets yelling about how we’re already living in a dystopian society and we’re all doomed.”

Akaashi lifts the washcloth to squint at Bokuto. “That doesn’t sound like me.”

_Though that theory doesn’t sound wrong._

“I have video~. Want to see?”

“No. Don’t torture me like that.”

“After that we all sang karaoke. We don’t have a karaoke machine or game or anything so I’m not sure how me made that work, but it happened.”

“Kill me.”

“No way! I had lots of fun! I haven’t seen Kuroo have that much fun in a long time either. It’s nice to see him with someone he likes, though I didn’t think you’d be the type to be into him.”

Akaashi’s whole body goes rigid and a next level gratitude of the washcloth Bokuto had provided arises. Having his face partially covered helps hide his panic attack.

“How was your date anyway? He’s been all lock and key about it. Keeps saying the only thing you did was hold hands!”

_Is this a trap? It’s a trap, right? Not the good kind of trap either. More like a death trap or one of those things you stick your finger in and when you try to pull it out it stabs you and your finger starts turning purple._

Akaashi doesn’t answer. Silence isn’t incriminating. Silence was un-committal. Or something like that.

_Fuuuuucccckkkk._

Akaashi can feel Bokuto staring at him waiting for an answer. He sets the plate down on the table causing Akaashi to flinch.

“He did tell you about us, right?”

_I’m dead. He’s going to kill me and it’s not even going to be a death from those sweet glorious biceps. Maybe I can tear some of his clothes off in the struggle, so I can have something nice to look at while I die. Assuming he doesn’t gouge my eyeballs out for gandering at his lover._

“Obviously we’re seeing each other but we see other people too. Well. Mostly him. Although he hasn’t really lately. That’s why it’s so nice he’s taken to you. I don’t exactly always have a lot of time to be with him and we can’t get too romantic in public. Not to mention, it’s not like monogamy is practical.”

Akaashi lifts the washcloth up to sneak a peek at Bokuto. He’s beaming at Akaashi and wriggling in his seat like he’s about to start gushing about his child’s achievements or something.

“So that wasn’t a lie then?”

“Nope~! Wait! Did you think he was lying to you? Why?”

“Well. You’ve met him, right? He doesn’t exactly seem like the most trustworthy type.”

“Awww! Akaashi! You’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover! Kuroo’s surprisingly reliable and trustworthy!”

“Unless he’s drunk?”

“Unless he’s drunk.” He hums and nods.

“Bokuto-san, I think I’m going to try to nap now. I still have to do work at some point today. Thank you for helping me out.”

_Not that I can say that anything you did helped. I could still have been blissfully asleep if it weren’t for you. I did get one piece of vital information from you, though._

“Awww.” Bokuto slouches in his chair a bit. “We can hang out again tomorrow, right?”

_Why would you want to?_

“Sure. After lunch, I suppose.”

“Oh! You want to go to lunch together?”

“I meet one of my friends for lunch on Wednesdays.”

“I want to meet your friends! Can I?”

_Kuroo was right. He loves everyone. He’s like a dog. I can see his tail wagging._

“I don’t know-“ Amidst Akaashi’s hangover he remembers that he’s meeting Konoha tomorrow.

_This could be good._

“Aww! Akaashi, please?” Bokuto’s hands are clasped together begging.

“On second thought, Konoha would be rather pleased to meet you. He’s a fan. He might want an autograph.”

Bokuto’s mouth goes in an ‘o’ shape and he does some sort of weird hoot. “I WANT TO GO! OH, PLEASE LET ME GO!”

Akaashi hisses and holds his head. “Give me quiet tonight and tomorrow morning and you can go with me.”

“Yaaas!” Bokuto whisper shouts and shakes his hands in excitement.

When Akaashi gets back to his apartment he can only think of one thing:

_I can sleep with Kuroo and possibly Bokuto._

_I can watch Konoha fawn and panic over Bokuto. He’ll probably do that screeching thing where he can’t talk but excitedly hits me._

Okay. Two main things.

**. . .**

When Kuroo comes in for the night, Akaashi swears he hears Bokuto jump into his arms and them go crashing down. He shakes his head at their shenanigans before getting back to work. His hangover and Bokuto kidnapping him put him severely behind today.

All is good in the land and running smoothly. His loud ass neighbors haven’t barged in and are cooking dinner while chatting and laughing. They’re loud as always, but Akaashi had been listening to them for months. At some point they’d turned into background noise. Akaashi’s rapidly catching up on his work. Until there’s a dreadful knock on his door. Chills go up his spine.

_I swear I’m classically conditioned to fear people knocking on my door. It only causes me grief._

He pushes his work to the side, all hope of completing it already gone even though he technically doesn’t know who’s at his door.

Kuroo’s at the door this time. He’s leaning against it with that smirk of his like always, looking mischievous but also weirdly excited. “Hey, good lookin’. Heard you cheated on me today.”

“Ugh. There’s nothing to cheat on.” Akaashi steps away and swings the door closed.

Kuroo catches the door and follows him in. “I heard you hung out with Bo today.”

“You mean he kidnapped me while I was hungover and on the verge of death.” Akaashi dryly states back.

“Well, whatever you want to call it, I’m jealous and I’m here to kidnap you again.”

“No thanks. I have a one kidnapping a day limit.”

“Too bad I don’t.” Kuroo gives a devious grin and takes a step toward Akaashi.

Akaashi’s fight or flight senses start to kick in he takes a step back. “I’ll get Kenma to murder you where you stand.”

Kuroo gives a little laugh before lunging forward, grabbing Akaashi around the waist, and hoisting him over his shoulder. Akaashi just gives up and stares at Kuroo’s ass while Kuroo carries him back to his apartment.

_Nice butt. And now I know he can lift me. I’ll put that tidbit in my spank bank. If I grab his ass, could I play it off as an accident?_

“I expected this out of Bokuto-san, but not you.”

“I told you I was jealous.” Kuroo carefully sets him down in his apartment and shrugs. “Besides, I already made dinner for you. I couldn’t let you miss out on that.”

“You know you could’ve just said food and I would’ve walked over.”

“Yeah, but this was much more fun.” Kuroo winks before walking to the kitchen.

It’s too quiet and Akaashi notices Bokuto is strangely missing. “Did Bokuto-san leave?” Akaashi furrow his eyebrows. “Or did you kill him in a jealous rage? We didn’t even hold hands.”

“Didn’t even hold hands!” Kuroo mock gasps. “What a relief! I was hoping you were saving your purity for me!” He dishes out another devilish smirk. “But to answer your question, he just saw an ad for some limited time snacks and dashed out to get some. He should be back soon with half of the grocery store. Most of which, will go home with you because he doesn’t need to eat that shit and I’m not going to eat it all for him. I already blame him for this bit of chub I have even though he tries to run me to death every day.”

Akaashi sits at the counter and leans on his arm. “You’re such a housewife. Your ‘bit of chub’ as you call it, is cute, though.”

Kuroo stops what he’s doing and snaps his head up to look at Akaashi. “I’m going to let that housewife comment slide since you called me cute.”

_And how would you react if I said I want to hop on that dick and fuck you until we pass out and have to be admitted to the hospital? What kind of pass would I get for that?_

There’s a clattering of the door being thrown open and grocery bags.

_I wonder if he’s past the point where we could teach him how to enter appropriately? Can you teach old dogs new tricks?_

“Guys, you’ll never guess what I found!”

Kuroo grimaces. “Something weird flavored?”

“Something weird flavored!” Bokuto shouts back excitedly.

Akaashi looks back to Kuroo. “I’m not taking the weird flavored thing home.”

Kuroo groans. “Then take me with you instead? Save me?”

“I was talking about you when I said I’m not taking the weird thing home.”

Kuroo scoffs, ready to rebuttal, but gets interrupted by Bokuto.

“Come on, guys! You gotta try it! There’s Yogurtropical Fanta and some Caesar Dressing Cheetos!”

Akaashi stares at Kuroo with a panicked expression. “He isn’t going to make us actually try that, is he?”

“Yup.”

“How are you even still alive?”

“I died years ago. The only thing that keeps me going is all the sugar and caffeine from the energy drinks he’s forced me to try.”

**. . .**

For the second time that day, Akaashi is unable to escape Bokuto’s wrath. And it _is_ starting to feel like wrath. He almost pukes from trying the Fanta. Compared to that, the Cheetos are a cakewalk even though he never wants to look at them again. Only booze or death would be able to get that taste out of his mouth, but his stomach was telling him not to touch the hooch for another day or two unless he wants his liver to give out.

_I think he’s trying to kill me. He’s lying about the polyamorous thing and is out for revenge. He’s being friendly, so he can get away with cruel and unusual punishment._

Akaashi’s eyes look over to Kuroo, who’s crying slightly at how bad the Fanta was. He’s smiling and laughing though, so he must enjoy Bokuto’s sadistic streak. It would explain why Akaashi sometimes hears groans that sound distressed instead of pleasurable when they’re having sex. Not to mention the occasional slapping.

“You still alive over there, Akaashi?” Kuroo’s teary eyes are studying him. He wipes some of the soul leaking from his eyes away.

“I think Bokuto-san really is trying to kill me. First booze, then curry, and now this.” Akaashi gives a dramatic shudder before drinking some milk in hopes it’d mask the zombie-flesh-like taste in his mouth.

“Whaaa?” Bokuto jumps up, both hands on the table and mouth gaping open. “Why do you think that? I thought we’ve been having a great time! Or do you not like me?” His lips jut out and shoulders droop.

_I prayed for a supernatural force to kill you today and for you to fuck me. I’d say the jury is still out. They’re not opposed to being bought, though. You can buy almost anyone with money or sex._

“It’s a joke, you dumb owl.” Kuroo pushes Bokuto’s face away so he’ll sit back down instead of looking like he’s about to jump over the table to tackle Akaashi and pester him until he says he likes him.

_I can’t believe this is a thought I’m having, but this shitty wannabe porn actor is my savior right now. I am grateful._

“So, anyway,” Akaashi clears his throat and steers the conversation away from anything that would excite Bokuto, “Kuroo, I have to make up work today since I was drug away. No kidnapping tomorrow.”

“Ha! You don’t get to see Akaashi tomorrow, but I get to have lunch _and_ meet his friend!” Bokuto gives a triumphant, shit eating smirk.

Kuroo’s head whips back to Akaashi and he gasps in betrayal. “What! I thought I was your favorite! How did Bo worm his way into your heart in just one day?”

“Cause I’m cooler than you!”

“Shut up, Mr. ‘the dust bowl is my favorite sports bowl’!”

“Dude! That was _years_ ago!”

_Ah, yes. I remember conversations like these. I believe early high school this same thing was said in the classroom. It was told as a joke though._

“It’s not that at all. One of my friends is a big fan of Bokuto-san and has this weird straight man crush on him. I want to watch him squirm and question his sexuality.”

Two sets of puzzled faces stare back at him before busting into laughter.

“Oh my god. You’re fucking petty as hell, aren’t you?”

“He better watch out! I’ve been known to make straight men too curious!”

Kuroo gasps and mocks distress. “Bo! You’re going to cheat on me to try out banging a straight man?”

“It’s only straight if he doesn’t like it.” Bokuto gives a wink and shoots finger guns at Kuroo.

Akaashi face palms.

“Is he hot?”

“Yeah, is he? Do I need to try to bang your friend? Should I dress up?”

A maniacal, uncontrollable grin finds itself on Akaashi’s face. “Would you?”

**. . .**

Akaashi goes to fetch Bokuto just before noon. Bokuto answers the door in only his underwear looking frantic.

_Holy hell._

Akaashi facepalms to make sure his nose wasn’t bleeding. He couldn’t do anything about the chub in his pants right now. Not without making it obvious. Hell. Why wasn’t Bokuto hugging him? He always hugged him every time they met.

_Should I like, try to hug him and blame it on habit?_

“Agaaaaassshhiiii!”

_That’s not my name~. They call me Quiet but I’m a riot~._

“What should I wear?” Bokuto breaks out into a pout.

Akaashi’s eyes drift from Bokuto’s face and down to his pecks. And then hips. And then –

_No. Don’t look. Don’t look down this time. Don’t. You can’t skip lunch to jerk off to Bokuto._

“Clothes preferably, Bokuto-san.”

“Yeaahhh, but you told me to dress up so I could seduce your friend! I don’t want to fail you, Akaashi!” Bokuto whines.

Akaashi stares at the ceiling forcing himself to not check out Bokuto’s package in his ridiculously fitted underwear.

_Him showing up is more than enough to make Konoha swoon, but since this is my chance to see as much of Bokuto as possible, maybe I should take advantage of this opportunity._

“Got a tight short sleeve shirt and,” Akaashi hums, trying to think of the best way to showcase Bokuto’s legs. And ass. “A pair of above-the-knee shorts?”

“Ohhhh!” Bokuto’s eyes light up and he dashes back to the bedroom. “You’re a genius Akaashi!”

Akaashi sneaks a glance at Bokuto’s ass clad in only a pair of tight boxer-briefs. His hand twitches, wanting to reach out and cup Bokuto’s ass. He digs his nails in his palm, trying to control himself.

_That ass. The gods sculpted that ass. I feel inspired to write a poem about it. Maybe wage war. No. Not wage war. Maybe court him. I think seeing that ass would even make Kenma less grumpy. Poor Konoha isn’t going to stand a chance._

Bokuto comes bounding back into the living room finally dressed and looking like the excited puppy he is. “How is this?” He grins and does a twirl.

Akaashi gives a frown.

“Waaa? It’s bad?’ Bokuto pouts and crosses his arms to shield his body from Akaashi.

“I just realized that after Konoha sees you and realizes he’s bi, I won’t have any straight friends.”

“Pfft.” Bokuto grins and tries to visibly suppress his laugh before losing it and laughing loudly. “Everyone’s gay. It just varies how gay they are.”

_You say that, but you and Kuroo are converting barely gay men into very gay. You two made me gayer and I’ve never looked at a woman._

“Just do me a favor.”

“Anything for you, Akaashi!”

“Don’t fuck him here. I don’t want to hear one of my best friends getting pounded by you.”

**. . .**

“Ohhh! I go by here sometimes on my way home for lunch!” Bokuto hops around following Akaashi to his regular table, looking around everywhere curiously almost like it was his first time being allowed out of the house.

_Yeah. I hid from you here once. Wait. Shit. Now you’ll stop by here to eat with us. Watching Konoha come from shaking your hand once is hysterical. Watching him do it a second time will just make me lose my appetite._

They round the corner to the usual booth. Konoha is staring at his phone piddling away since Akaashi is typically late. Akaashi nods toward the table and gives Bokuto a light shove to sit down first. Akaashi bites his cheeks to hide the smirk he already has.

Bokuto plops down across from Konoha, beaming.

“Damn, Keiji. How are you always so lat-“ He lifts his head to find Bokuto there. His mouth drops open and his phone clatters to the table.

Akaashi snorts before sliding into the booth next to Bokuto. “We are not late. You’re just impatient.”

“I. I. I. I. I. I.” Konoha’s eyes go impossibly huge, still staring at Bokuto, who’s trying his best not to laugh. “What?”

“I said we’re not late.”

“Akaashi you’re late all the time? I don’t see you as being the type to ever be late!” Bokuto bounces a bit in the seat before looking over to Konoha. “He’s late?”

Konoha gulps and nods. “We meet every other Wednesday and he’s always late.”

“Huuuhhh.” Bokuto hums before looking back toward Akaashi.

“I haven’t figured out the equation to calculate how long it takes to fix stupid.” Akaashi grumbles. “Pick what you want to eat. The staff already knows our orders.”

“I’ll get whatever you’re getting!” Bokuto bounces some more, grinning back and forth between the two of them.

“Uhhhh.” Konoha looks desperately between the two of them.

“Yes?” Akaashi rests his chin on his hand and smirks.

“Who’s this with you today?” He gulps and looks back at Bokuto.

Bokuto gives a snicker and looks to Akaashi.

“Oh. This guy?” Akaashi leans in close to Bokuto and rests one hand on his bicep partially to make Konoha jealous, partially because he can’t not just touch those guns when they were right there. “You mean you don’t know who he is?” He gives a fake pout.

Konoha stares at Bokuto, then at Akaashi’s hand, and back to Bokuto. His body goes rigid.

“Uh, oh. I think you killed him, Akaashi.”

Akaashi snorts. “He’s just being dramatic. Konoha, this is Bokuto Koutarou. You might know him from our national volleyball team.”

“Holy fuck.” Konoha whispers, sinking down into his seat a bit.

Bokuto grins before holding his hand out. “I’m excited to meet Akaashi’s friend!”

Konoha nods before grasping Bokuto’s hand. Bokuto places his other hand on Konoha’s and grips tighter.

“I hear you have a crush on me. Want to see what it’s like to sleep with a man?” He gives a wink and grins wider.

In the blink of an eye, Konoha turns immensely red. “KEEEEIIIIJJJJIIIIII!”

They get kicked out of the restaurant but Bokuto manages to snag Konoha’s number anyway.

**. . .**

When Kuroo gets home, he goes straight to the bedroom and flops on the bed beside Bokuto where he’d been trying to nap.

“Fail your second oral exam, babe?”

“No.” Kuroo huffs into the bed.

“What’s up then?”

“Jealous.”

“Why?”

“You got to have lunch with Akaashi and I’ve been banned from seeing him today. It’s like I’m the step-child here.”

The covers shuffle and Kuroo feels Bokuto’s hand rubbing his back.

“You like him?”

Kuroo lifts his head to give Bokuto a flat look.

“You know what I mean. You like him that much?”

Kuroo groans into the covers.

“Are you being true to your feelings, Tetsu?”

“Please don’t use my given name right now. I’m too depressed to be aroused. I don’t want to be depressed and aroused. I wouldn’t even be able to enjoy it.”

Bokuto snorts and continues to rub Kuroo’s back. “When are you going to ask him on another date?”

“I dunno.”

“That’s not like you.”

“And it’s not like you to be this comforting without making a joke.”

Bokuto makes sassy obscure gremlin-like sounds in response to Kuroo’s snark. “I haven’t seen you be this happy around someone that isn’t me or Tsukki in a long time. I’d hate for you to let this chance slip out of your fingers.”

Kuroo groans into the bed again.

“You know I’m right.”

“Who says I have a chance? Have you seen him? He’s breathtaking!” Kuroo hisses so Akaashi won’t hear him through the thin walls. “I’m not exactly fit or fun as I used to be. He called me a housewife the other day and I couldn’t tell him otherwise. Most of the time I cook or study.”

“Aw. Tetsu.” Bokuto presses his head against Kuroo’s. “You’re still a fine catch even if you’re old, boring, and starting to get the dad bod.”

Kuroo turns his head to glare at Bokuto and punch him in the gut. Bokuto groans in pain and clutches his stomach.

“You’re still hot as fuck, Tetsu. Yeah, he’s breathtaking, but so are you. And you’re smart. And I think if you keep cooking for him, he’d throw himself at you.”

“If he kept cooking for me, I would’ve thrown myself at him.”

“Then keep cooking for each other. Problem solved.”

Kuroo hums before hiding his face back in the bed. “I really do like him.”

Bokuto doesn’t answer. He gives a hum and goes back to rubbing Kuroo’s back. Kuroo knows he’s being stared at with those predator eyes.

“If I go out with him again, I don’t want him to just be a one-night stand or a fuck buddy. I want to date him. Is that,” Kuroo bites his lip and sighs into the bed, “is that something you’d be okay with? I know it’s been a while.”

“Of course, babe. I like and trust Akaashi enough. If he hurts you, he may mysteriously disappear, though.”

Kuroo gives a snort. “Thanks. What about you?”

“Hmm. He is hot, but I haven’t known him long enough to say if I’m interested in dating him as well. Not that I’d be opposed to it in the future. I don’t think he likes me very much anyway.”

Kuroo shifts to his side so he can face Bokuto. “What I’m hearing is that he’s all mine?”

“If he says yes.”

Kuroo’s face drops in betrayal. “Bro!”

Bokuto snickers and leans in to kiss him. “Sorry1 I misspoke. When he says yes.”

**. . .**

“Heeeyy, ‘kashi.” Kuroo purrs as he ambushes Akaashi outside his door.

Akaashi jolts before looking around warily. It was only six am. He couldn’t deal with Bokuto’s loud energy right now.

“Bo already left to run. It’ll just be you and me today.”

_Local man takes advantage of neighbors boyfriend being out for a run to have his neighbor bang him in the hallway._

Akaashi clears his throat, still half asleep. “Why?”

“Mostly cause there’s no way either of us would be able to keep up with him because he’s got all this excess energy from not practicing. He’s been shaking with energy like a Chihuahua. I’m just glad he hasn’t peed himself on the couch yet. He might run for hours and I am not prepared to deal with that. I just hope he doesn’t get lost.

Akaashi snorts as they start to descend the stairs. “Why did you make it sound like you were going to murder me or offer counseling?”

“My door is always open if you need counseling.” Kuroo waggles his eyebrows.

Akaashi scoffs. “No thanks, Freud. I don’t need you to tell me I have a daddy kink.”

“You have a daddy kink?” Kuroo’s eyebrows raise and that annoying smirk returns.

_Shit._

“Absolutely not. It’s just something Freud would say.”

“Huh.” Kuroo whistles. “Too bad. I like being called daddy.”

_I’ll gleefully call you daddy if you’re balls deep in me. Or touching me. Or just naked in my vicinity. Holy shit, I’m going to hire an escort if this keeps up._

“You like being called by your given name.” Akaashi answers with a bored face.

“Ohohoho? Listening intently to my sex life, I see.”

_Yes. Yes, I am. Jerking off to it too, thanks for not asking about that part. I might have to join Bokuto on his running adventure if you did that._

“It’s hard not to when you two are the loudest people I’ve ever met.”

“Correction: Bo is the loudest person you’ve ever met.”

“I hate that you’re not wrong.”

“About the daddy kink thing?”

“Shut up and start running”

“Sure thing,” Kuroo purrs, “daddy.”

Akaashi shoots him a disgusted look and starts running before Kuroo purring daddy at him can go straight to his cock.

_Another thing to jerk off to later._

**. . .**

When their run ends, Kuroo follows Akaashi into his apartment.

_My mother always warned me about strange men following me home. Too bad Kuroo’s not a sex criminal that wants to tie me up and have his way with me._

“Do you and Bokuto-san not know what boundaries are?” Akaashi huffs, heading to the kitchen for some water.

“Nope!” Kuroo pops the ‘p’ and follows Akaashi.

Akaashi rolls his eyes and offers Kuroo water. “Do you have time to waste here? I thought you had class?”

“I do, but I need to have a serious conversation with you first.”

Akaashi’s head jolts back in confusion.

_He IS going to murder me._

“Shut up. I can be serious.” Kuroo pouts before Akaashi can berate him. “I’ve finally got time to make up for bailing on our date last time. Can I take you out this weekend?”

Kuroo crosses his arms in front of him. Akaashi’s eyes wander over his muscular arms. Something about the way he crosses his arms makes his shoulders seem even broader. There’s sweat rolling down his neck that Akaashi wants to lick off.

“Like with a sniper?”

Kuroo tries to hold back a laugh but ends up snorting instead. “No, you dork. On a damn date.”

“Ohhh.” Akaashi hums. “I’m not sure. My schedule is pretty packed.”

“Oh, yeah? Doing what?”

“Pretending not to exist, mostly.”

“You can do that on our date.” Kuroo grins, puffing out his chest a bit before he realizes what he’s said. “Wait. No. Please don’t do that.”

Akaashi snickers and shakes his head at him. “Sure. Just tell me when you want to go.”

“Give me your number and I’ll text you.”

“You live next door.”

“But what if I’m in class and I want to pitch ideas to you?”

“You wait.”

“So, you want me to come hang out here after I get done? If you missed me, all you had to do was say.” Kuroo smirks and leans in a bit in victory.

Akaashi pushes his sweaty face away. “Fine, you annoying flea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Electrolytes; It's what plants crave!
> 
> *mentions Japan specific food stuffs* *proceeds to lay head on table, defeated* I want to go back to Japan.
> 
> Next chapter will be so much better than this one. And have more sex. I promise. ;););)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some nourishment, weary traveler.

[ **Konoha** ]: I have a date with Bokuto-san

[ **Konoha** ]: I HAVE A DATE WITH THE BOKUTO

[ **Akaashi** ]: and?

[ **Akaashi** ]: Did you just realize this or??

[ **Konoha** ]: I HAVE A DATE WITH THAT HUNK YOU TOLD I HAVE THE HOTS FOR

[ **Akaashi** ]: You’re welcome??

[ **Konoha** ]: I’M STRAIGHT

[ **Akaashi** ]: You just called him a hunk.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Pretty gay

[ **Akaashi** ]: Source: me.

[ **Akaashi** ]: He has quite the stamina.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Make sure to stretch well. ;)

 [ **Konoha** ]: WE’RE NOT GOING TO FUCK

[ **Akaashi** ]: What’s the point then?

[ **Akaashi** ]: Although, from what I can hear, he likes to bottom too.

[ **Akaashi** ]: He’s on vacation now, so he might be up for it if you’re still convinced you’re not gay.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Frankly, I’d like him to pound into me.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Live my dream for me.

[ **Akaashi** ]: That’s what friends are for.

[ **Konoha** ]: STOP

[ **Konoha** ]: WHAT THE FUCK??

[ **Akaashi** ]: Isn’t this why you gave him your number?

[ **Konoha** ]: NO???

[ **Akaashi** ]: Okay. Whatever.

[ **Konoha** ]: WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME???

[ **Akaashi** ]: Because you’re too much of a wimp to do it yourself.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Also, I like to see you suffer.

[ **Akaashi** ]: And question your sexuality.

[ **Konoha** ]: YOU’RE THE WORST

[ **Akaashi** ]: Kenma would’ve hacked your phone, stolen your nudes, and sent them to him already. Maybe even posted them on some sketchy websites. Strange men in suits would be at your doors.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Or sent them to your boss.

[ **Akaashi** ]: He’d do it for the hell of it if I asked him.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Think wisely about who you piss off.

[ **Konoha** ]: I hate you.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Oh. FYI: I’ve already requested that Bokuto-san doesn’t bring you back to his apartment because I don’t want to hear him taking your anal virginity.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Assuming you two can even wait that long to ravage each other.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Wait.

[ **Akaashi** ]: If you do spend the night there maybe Kuroo will ask to stay at my place.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Hnng.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’m not sure if the reward is worth the cost.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Or if I can get off with you crying next door.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Shit. You’re the one not going to be able to get off

[ **Akaashi** ]: Cause I’m going to be S C R E A M I N G

[ **Akaashi** ]: Did you die?

[ **Akaashi** ]: You don’t want to see what it’s like before you die?

[ **Akaashi** ]: That’s a shame.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’ll tell him you’re going to bail on him.

[ **Akaashi** ]: He’ll cry. I’ll let him seek solace in my arms.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Then give him a “feel better soon” blowjob.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Or would it be a “sorry for your loss” blowjob?

[ **Akaashi** ]: We’ll keep doing it until we can figure it out.

[ **Konoha** ]: How do people think you’re polite and respectful??

[ **Akaashi** ]: I work from home and have the face of an angel.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Also, gay magic.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Now.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Am I giving a consolation blowjob to Bokuto-san while Kuroo’s in class or are you going to take one for the team?

[ **Konoha** ]: ………

[ **Akaashi** ]: You’ve chosen well.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Make sure to never tell me about it.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I want it to be a surprise.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Well. As much as a surprise as it can be at this point. Which is not much…

**. . .**

Akaashi isn’t as nervous for this date as he was for the last one. Well. Kind of. If anything, he was more anxious. Cause that was _totally_ different. Or at least that’s what he was telling himself and if you tell yourself something long enough you’ll start to believe it. You just had to work the system.

Mostly, he spent all week pining for Kuroo to wear those skin-tight jeans again so Akaashi could run his hands up and down Kuroo’s legs, deftly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling down the zipper while kissing him, slowly sliding his hand under Kuroo’s underwear to grasp –

Akaashi slams his head on the table to force his concentration to come back from pervert land, which, by the way, was the happiest land of them all.

_Save the sex daydreams for later. If you don’t finish your work on time, there won’t be any date where you may or may not get to finish with Kuroo’s dick in your ass._

Akaashi glares at his computer and angrily types some numbers in that may or may not be relevant to what he was doing. Number smashes were the adult gay thing to do. Business gay.

_I mean. This isn’t like a friend date, right? Maybe I should ask Kenma?_

Kenma’s prior wisdom of Kuroo being the easiest person to get in bed floats back into Akaashi’s mind.

_I’m getting laid even if it is a friend date and I have to throw myself at him. Maybe he’ll be into the ‘whoops, I fell over and over again’ excuse._

**. . .**

[ **Unknown Number** ]: I was thinking

[ **Unknown Number** ]: About our date

[ **Unknown Number** ]: How do you feel about karaoke?

[ **Akaashi** ]: Blocked

[ **Kuroo** ]: Kind of surprised I got 3 messages in before being blocked

[ **Akaashi** ]: Me too.

[ **Akaashi** ]: It wasn’t great while it lasted. But goodbye forever.

[ **Kuroo** ]: NOOOO!

[ **Akaashi** ]: Just kidding. You still owe me several desserts. And homemade ice cream.

[ **Akaashi** ]: But hell no.

[ **Kuroo** ]: I know.

[ **Kuroo** ]: I just wanted to annoy you

[ **Akaashi** ]: You live next door. Isn’t that enough opportunity to annoy me?

[ **Kuroo** ]: Nope!

[ **Kuroo** ]: I’m gone alllll day

[ **Kuroo** ]: and you ban me when I’m home

[ **Kuroo** ]: speaking of,

[ **Kuroo** ]: Bo not come over today?

[ **Akaashi** ]: I banned him too

[ **Akaashi** ]: He also may or may not be preoccupied texting my friend, Konoha, and brainstorming his own date

[ **Kuroo** ]: Oh yeah

[ **Kuroo** ]: Uh

[ **Kuroo** ]: Not to be a dick

[ **Akaashi** ]: Too late

[ **Kuroo** ]: ha ha

[ **Kuroo** ]: but can we trust this guy?

[ **Kuroo** ]: I mean, I trust you and all

[ **Kuroo** ]: for reasons I don’t know

[ **Kuroo** ]: maybe you have some voodoo magic

[ **Kuroo** ]: but I don’t want bo to get fucked

[ **Kuroo** ]: I mean I do

[ **Kuroo** ]: but not fucked, fucked

[ **Kuroo** ]: you know what I mean

[ **Akaashi** ]: I trust him and Bokuto-san trusts him.

[ **Akaashi** ]: If anything just so *happens* to get out, he can mysteriously disappear. Can’t interview someone you can’t find.

[ **Kuroo** ]: Ouch

[ **Kuroo** ]: isn’t he one of your best friends?

[ **Akaashi** ]: He is.

[ **Kuroo** ]: Huuuuuh

[ **Kuroo** ]: Totally~ unrelated, but how are your ex’s doing?

[ **Akaashi** ]: They’ve all died at the hands of tragic accidents.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Strangely, all shortly after we broke up.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’ve been an obligatory suspect several times but was released due to lack of evidence. They haven’t managed to solve any of the cases yet.

[ **Akaashi** ]: It’s a shame.

[ **Kuroo** ]: haaaaaaa

[ **Kuroo** ]: I’m going to go to class now

[ **Akaashi** ]: Have fun~. Study hard~.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Oh! If you just so *happen* to come across any chemicals I could use to, I don’t know, harm someone, can you *accidentally* bring them home for me? There’s some people I need to teach a lesson.

**. . .**

There’s a quiet knock on Akaashi’s door that startles him from his work. He looks up blearily and stares toward it before ignoring it and resuming his work. After a moment, there’s another knock. He knows it’s not Bokuto since it was much too quiet, and he couldn’t hear the wood splintering from sheer, unintentional force. Kenma and Konoha would just barge in since he rarely remembered to lock it, or at least that was until he got neighbors that barged in whenever they liked, and he started relishing in their sounds all over the apartment. It was one thing to tell your friends about your sexual fantasies and endeavors, but it was a whole other, excessively awkward thing for them to experience them first hand when they’d just come over to eat or borrow a book.

The only person it could be was Kuroo. Or a ghost. Maybe a ghost that once did porn and had a pizza and would fuck Akaashi while simultaneously feeding him the best pizza of his life. He’d always wondered what ghost dick would be like. Or maybe a tentacle ghost monster thing? That would be the experience of a lifetime. Or, at least, he hoped it would be since he’d probably die in the process of fucking said tentacle ghost monster thing. Who knows though? Maybe they’d get married and have some fucked up babies that were sometimes ghosts and sometimes monsters. He’d have to try for science.

The knocks continue, signifying the source wasn’t a sexy ghost since a ghost would’ve just gone through the door if they got tired of waiting. Huffing, Akaashi gets up to answer the door, hoping for something fascinating to be on the other side. Maybe it’d open to Narnia or some shit. Or some monster that was into vore. That’d be pretty cool. Help him end his suffering that was being alive in a constant existential crisis. Damn being human was weird.

Instead, he’s met with a smirking cat that had taken over a human body. Disappointed, Akaashi sighs and greets Kuroo.

“Good evening. Is there something you need?”

Kuroo gives and indignant grunt. “Were you expecting someone else?”

_Hoping for something worth the effort I had to exert to get up to open the door. Damn I sound like Kenma now. I’m getting old._

“No. Just hoping you had pizza.”

“I can get you pizza.” That eager smirk returns.

“Getting me pizza isn’t having pizza now. Hard pass if I have to wait for it.”

“Good things come to those who wait~” Kuroo purrs now.

“I’m still waiting to figure out why you’re bothering me when I’m still trying to catch up on my work. I’d like to, I don’t know, get paid. It’s one of my favorite things in life. It narrowly beats out being petty and getting free food.”

“Just missed your face.”

“That’s nice. Good night, Kuroo.”

“Good night~.” Kuroo gives a little wave before twirling around back to his door.

_Uh. Okay? What the hell was that? Has he lost it?_

Akaashi stares at the door for a second confused before shrugging and going back to work with a new vigor. It was unfair how much he always wanted to wrap his arms around Kuroo and kiss him anytime he answered the door for him.

_Maybe he’s so used to check on Bokuto that he needs to parent and check on me too?_

**. . .**

[ **Kuroo** ]: Do I get you Saturday, Sunday, or both?

[ **Kuroo** ]: Or longer?

[ **Akaashi** ]: Part of Saturday only. I’ll need Sunday to recover from spending time with you.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Might have to take Monday off as well. Have a relaxing day at the spa.

[ **Kuroo** ]: If that’s what you want to call it~

[ **Kuroo** ]: I’m not that rough. ;)

[ **Akaashi** ]: Why are you so happy all the time?

[ **Akaashi** ]: And what do you mean rough? (눈_눈)

[ **Kuroo** ]: No reason~

[ **Kuroo** ]: and nothing~

[ **Akaashi** ]: Stop it.

[ **Akaashi** ]: It gives me this weird feeling of dread. Like being covered in spiders.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Or walking into a web and not knowing if there’s a spider on you.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Ugh. I creeped myself out. Burning the apartment complex down now.

[ **Kuroo** ]: But whyyy~?

[ **Kuroo** ]: And please grab Bagheera before you set any fires.

[ **Akaashi** ]: It’s not too late for me to go on Bokuto-san’s date with him. I’m sure he’d love it.

[ **Akaashi** ]: My ticket to Russia is also still good. I didn’t murder a bunch of gangsters for nothing.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Wait. Delete that or I’ll have to delete you.

[ **Kuroo** ]: (=ｘェｘ=)

[ **Akaashi** ]: Ah. That’s much better. What I’ve always wanted to see.

[ **Kuroo** ]: I’m starting to think everyone in my life is mean.

[ **Akaashi** ]: You’re just a pushover.

**. . .**

Kuroo’s sitting with his ear pressed against the front door, waiting for Akaashi to go on his regular morning run.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“Shhh!” Kuroo cuts a glare toward Bokuto, who’s sitting on the floor cross-legged on the floor near him looking unamused.

“He hears us bang every day. More than once. He’s said this. We know this. He knows we date. Why are you waiting for him to leave?”

“Shhh!” Kuroo swats the air in Bokuto’s direction.

There’s footsteps approaching Akaashi’s door and then the sound of the door opening. Bokuto’s mouth starts to open and Kuroo clamors over and slaps his hand over that giant hole on Bokuto’s face, landing partially on top of him. Apparently, he didn’t fall stealthily, as he can hear Akaashi pause outside their door and sleepily mutter ‘What the fuck? It’s too early for that shit.’ before continuing.

Bokuto grabs Kuroo’s hand and pulls it away from his mouth. “He’s gone. Can we bang now?”

“Not yet.” Kuroo places his ear back against the door to listen for the sounds of Akaashi going down the stairs. Once he’s satisfied, he gives a relieved sigh before turning back to Bokuto.

“You’re not going to do this when you two start dating, are you? It’s ridiculous.” Bokuto huffs. “We’re all adults here.”

“You mean if. And no.” Kuroo grumbles. “I just thought it’d be weird if he hears us fucking and then I ask him out later today. I don’t want it to accidently sway his choice.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to let him hear that pretty voice of yours then?” Bokuto leans in and runs his lips and tongue over Kuroo’s neck. “Make him curious.” He gently nips near Kuroo’s Adam’s apple. “Let him listen to how much I praise you in bed? Let him hear how sexy you sound when you come?”

Kuroo gives a full-body shiver. “Damn. You’re one conniving jerk.”

“We can always do it again when he gets back~” Bokuto slides one hand up Kuroo’s shirt and moves his mouth to the other side of Kuroo’s neck, rubbing his lips lightly along it.

“I might be too anxious to do it then. And I’ll have to start getting ready. And we’ll leave in the next few hours.”

Bokuto pulls away from Kuroo to see his face and blinks at him a few times. “You’re going to take hours to get ready?”

“Maybe? He’s beautiful?”

“You’re beautiful too, my Tetsu.” Bokuto goes back to brushing his lips across Kuroo’s neck more and lightly slides his hand down Kuroo’s side, stopping on his hip. “He’d be stupid to not see that.” His hand moves to Kuroo’s waistband, his hand sneaking down to grasp his cock. “He likes you, though.”

Kuroo gives a shiver and presses his hips toward Bokuto. “You think so?”

“He eyes you.” Bokuto pulls Kuroo’s shirt up and moves his mouth down his stomach rubbing his lips on him. “He was scared when I mentioned we were dating. Like he’d been doing something wrong.” He pulls Kuroo’s pajama bottoms down and continues mouthing down him until he reaches his cock. “As long as you don’t bail on him for _science_ again, I’d say you have a new boyfriend.” He licks up Kuroo’s glans.

Kuroo lets out a low whine, toes curling against the floor and hips pushing toward Bokuto’s mouth for more. “Thanks for reminding me of that disaster _again_. But that’s not going to happen. Phone will be off all day.”

Bokuto licks Kuroo’s cock a few more times like it was the best ice cream he’d ever had. “You mean I can't send you nudes all day? What a travesty!” He grabs Kuroo’s hips and bobs down on his dick.

“Kou, you horny fuck.” Kuroo gasps out before running his hands through Bokuto’s hair.

Bokuto smiles around his dick. He bobs up and down on Kuroo a few more times before pulling away and open mouth kissing Kuroo. “What? I’ve got to get all my rambunctiousness out now or I’m going to break a straight man later.”

Kuroo cups Bokuto’s cheeks and gives him a quick bite on his lower lip. “Why don’t you try to break me instead?”

“Then stop talking.” Bokuto grins and kisses him again before picking Kuroo up from the floor and slamming him against the wall. He puts a leg between Kuroo’s, spreads his legs, and whips his shirt off in a second. His resumes kissing him and strokes him lazily.

Kuroo pulls Bokuto’s rock hard, leaking cock from his pants. He’d been rearing to go ever since they’d been sitting in the hallway waiting for Akaashi to leave. The man could hold an erection for a ridiculous amount of time even when there was nothing remotely sexy happening.

Bokuto tugs at Kuroo’s balls lightly and bites his neck. “Top or bottom today?”

“Bottom.” Kuroo pants, grinding against Bokuto’s leg since he wasn’t touching his dick. “I hope to top later tonight.”

“Ayyye! I hope to bottom tonight so that’s great. Best of both worlds.” Bokuto snickers before he spreads Kuroo’s legs more and his fingers slip further back to massage Kuroo’s hole.

“Bro, do me on the shower?”

“You and I both know damn well we’re too big to bang in our shower.”

“Damn.” Kuroo lets out a fake exasperated sigh. “The bed will have to do then.”

Bokuto picks him up by the ass and Kuroo wraps his legs around him for support.

“I’ll make it worth your while.” He gives a grin before kissing Kuroo and walking toward the bedroom. “Besides, I don’t want you to accidentally pull anything before your date.”

“Gosh, what a gentleman.” Kuroo dreamily sighs before Bokuto throws him on the bed before clamoring on the end of the bed.

“Damn right I am! And as a gentleman, I have a duty to eat ass, so get on your knees.”

“Oooh~” Kuroo smirks before gleefully turning over and sticking his ass in the air. He grips the mattress to help restrain from touching himself, otherwise he’d unravel too quickly.

Bokuto’s mouth is on him in an instant, licking from the back of his balls up to his hole, lapping away and shoving his tongue into Kuroo’s tight hole. Kuroo gives a groan, hips going forward and then backward. He can feel Bokuto laughing lightly and smiling against him. He places his hands on the back of Kuroo’s thighs and slowly slides them up, feeling the muscles.

“Tetsu, baby.” Bokuto swirls his tongue around Kuroo’s hole. “These thighs are to die for.”

Kuroo gives a snort and grips the mattress tighter, his cock dripping and eager from being teased so much without release.

Bokuto slides his hands up to Kuroo’s ass, grips it tightly with one hand, and slides the other lightly up his spine.

“I really want to break you.” Bokuto groans against Kuroo’s ass. “I want to ride you until you can’t walk and Akaashi will have to come take care of you and give you sympathy sex.” He presses his mouth hard against Kuroo and licks more until Kuroo’s groaning.

Kuroo’s self-control gives out and he reaches out to grasp his cock but Bokuto snatches his hand and pulls it behind his back. He sucks on Kuroo’s hole briefly before pulling away, making Kuroo whine.

“You’re going to come untouched, baby.” Bokuto growls as he gets on his knees. He rubs his cock under Kuroo’s balls and cock, letting the precum on their cocks mix together.

Kuroo gives a groan, his back arching and hips bucking forward. “S-stop teasing me.”

Bokuto snickers before adjusting and pushing Kuroo’s legs together tightly and sliding his cock back in-between Kuroo’s thighs. He thrusts steadily, still holding Kuroo’s arm behind his back. “I would never~”

“Kou,” Kuroo whines.

Bokuto pulls away and respreads Kuroo’s legs again before shoving his cock all the way in. Kuroo cries out in pleasure, other hand gripping the mattress so hard it hurts, and on the brink of orgasm already. Bokuto lets go of Kuroo’s arm to grab his hips and slams into him more.

“Hand on the mattress or I stop.” Bokuto growls leaning over Kuroo slightly and pushing him down closer into the bed. He moves his legs to the outside of Kuroo’s and closes his legs slightly.

Kuroo groans against the bed, face pressing against the mattress, as Bokuto slams into him. “H-harder Kou! I want to come!”

Bokuto pulls almost all the way out before slamming into Kuroo again, causing him to cry out. Bokuto grunts and does it a few more times. He squeezes Kuroo’s hips before slamming into him rapidly, his skin slapping against Kuroo’s loudly.

“A-ahh~!” Kuroo moans as he comes on the sheets.

Bokuto gives another groan before spilling into him. He stills, panting for a moment, before pulling out and going back to eating Kuroo’s ass out.

“Mngh! Too much, Bo!” Kuroo whines.

“I told you I want to break you.” Bokuto mumbles against him, already stoking himself again trying to get hard to continue. “I’m going to leave marks all over you next. Make Akaashi want to claim you for himself.” He growls before sucking on Kuroo’s ass and squeezing it hard with his free hand.

“Mm.” Kuroo pulls away from Bokuto’s mouth and flips over. “Better get to fucking and marking then.” He licks his bottom lip and bites it before pulling Bokuto up to kiss him.

Bokuto shoves his tongue in Kuroo’s mouth and lightly runs his cock against Kuroo’s. He kisses down Kuroo’s jaw and to his neck. At the crook where his neck meets his shoulder, Bokuto bites hard, causing Kuroo to cry out and thrust his hips up toward Bokuto.

Bokuto grins against his skin and moves to Kuroo’s collarbone, biting it more gently but sucking on it roughly. Kuroo wraps his hand around their cocks and slowly strokes, missing the heat of Bokuto’s dick inside him. Bokuto’s moving on with his marking fest, now on Kuroo’s chest, leaving a mark opposite of the two he’d already made.

Kuroo wraps his legs around Bokuto’s hips and slowly pulls his hips further down until his cock is brushing against Kuroo’s ass.

“Impatient?”

“You’re one to talk.” Kuroo bites back, rubbing his hole against Bokuto’s wet cock. “I want you in me again, Kou.” He whines, pushing Bokuto inside him slightly.

“God.” Bokuto groans before slamming back into him. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on a date later. I’m going to be too busy thinking of you.”

Kuroo bites Bokuto’s chest, sucking at it hard enough to leave a mark as well. He pulls Bokuto in and bites his neck where everyone would be able to see. “Now your date will be thinking about me as well.” He breathes against Bokuto’s skin, making him shiver and pound into him harder.

“Mhn. Tetsu, baby.” Bokuto starts to frantically shove his cock in and out of him. “Tetsurou.”

Kuroo gives a groan and grasps his own cock, stroking furiously. “Say my name again.”

“Tetsurou. Tetsurou.” Bokuto pants, his cock twitching inside Kuroo.

Kuroo’s panting now, feeling his orgasm building up inside him. He grabs Bokuto’s hair with his free hand and pulls him in close, kissing him in-between pants. “Fuck me, baby. You feel so good inside me.”

“Tetsurou.” Bokuto whines against Kuroo’s lips before feverishly slamming into Kuroo repeatedly so hard the whole bed shook, headboard slapping the wall.

Kuroo comes from Bokuto panting his name so sexily. He wraps his legs tighter around Bokuto, never wanting him to stop. Bokuto gives one final moan before spilling into his ass again.

**. . .**

“Bro, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for me to bottom. My back is killing me. Akaashi’s going to think he’s going on a date with an old man cause I’m going to be hunched over the whole time.” Kuroo groans, one hand on his back, and attempts to stretch it to help relieve some of his lower back pain. “You’re too rough.”

“Uh, you like it rough? And follow the example your elders set for you.”

“You’re two months older.” Kuroo rolls his eyes. “And what example? Cripple your lover?”

“And therefore, two months wiser. Akaashi will love being pounded like that. Trust me.”

“Much regret still.”

They’re both in the process of getting ready for their perspective dates. Kuroo’s gotten as far as underwear and jeans. After that, he keeled over on the bed trying to make his body hurt less.

“But are you horny now?” Bokuto gives a wide grin and shoots finger guns at him, still in his underwear and an unbuttoned shirt.

“Yes.” Kuroo groans. “And I also think you’re trying to kill me.”

“Want me to get you a cane, you geezer?”

“MEAN IN YOUR OLD AGE!” Kuroo screeches back at him and chunks a pillow.

**. . .**

“MEAN IN YOUR OLD AGE!”

The words come piercing through the wall as Akaashi’s sitting in the living room drinking tea and trying not to vomit from anxiety. He gives a small snicker to himself.

_I’ll have to pester him to find out what that was about in a bit._

Remembering he’s about to leave for his second date with Kuroo in less than an hour, he has to swallow down some vomit. Pretty boys don’t vomit.

_Fuck. This is so much worse than the first time. Why is it worse? Is it because now I’m going to try to get laid? I’m a grown ass man. I shouldn’t be nervous about getting some handsome stranger in bed. Well. Mostly stranger. It’s because he’s not a stranger. That’s what makes it worse. God. Since when was banging someone I know worse than banging a stranger? That’s not how it’s supposed to work, right?_

His phone vibrates, causing him to jump and spill tea on the table.

“Who the fuck?” He mumbles to himself.

_I can’t believe someone has the nerve to interrupt me mid-crisis._

[ **Konoha** ]: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ **Akaashi** ]: No. Not right now.

[ **Konoha** ]: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK

[ **Akaashi** ]: Also not right now, but if you catch me at the right time, I might be willing. Alcohol will be required.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Maybe money too…

[ **Konoha** ]: kaenfjkdgjaksdfajsg

[ **Akaashi** ]: Oh, look. Baby gays first keyboard smash.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I’m so proud. I’m gonna print it and frame it. Send it to all your coworkers and parents.

[ **Konoha** ]: HALP

[ **Akaashi** ]: Safe sex is the best sex.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Always ask for consent. Eagerness doesn’t count as consent.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Don’t forget to bring condoms. The ‘s’ means plural.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Wait.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Bring a pippi dongstocking. <3

[ **Konoha** ]: A FUCKING WHAT

[ **Akaashi** ]: You don’t know what condoms are?

[ **Akaashi** ]: I know it’s been a while since you’ve been laid…

[ **Akaashi** ]: but surely you’ve heard of them before? Maybe even used a few?

[ **Konoha** ]: PIPPI DONGSTOCKING

[ **Akaashi** ]: Yes. Now what did you need? I’m busy trying not to vomit since I’ll be having my own date soon.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I plan to have Kuroo’s pippi dongstocking covered joystick in my ass later. I’d like to spend this time fantasizing about that and deciding what position I want to do it in.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Okay. That’s a lie. I already know what I want.  I’m going to ride him until he breaks.

[ **Konoha** ]: YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND

[ **Akaashi** ]: Excuse you, I arranged a meeting between you and an idol of yours, which, in case you haven’t forgotten, landed you a date with a 100% chance of getting laid.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Which brings us back to the present.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Did you stretch? I hear Bokuto’s slong is quite formidable.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Not that those tight volleyball shorts leave much to the imagination.

[ **Akaashi** ]: That must be why he likes the long kneepads.

[ **Akaashi** ]: Help hide that anaconda he’s packing.

[ **Akaashi** ]: I like to imagine he could beat me to death with it…

[ **Konoha** ]: I don’t know what I expected.

[ **Akaashi** ]: You thought it’d be small? He’s over six feet tall and thick as hell.

[ **Konoha** ]: I MEANT FROM YOU, YOU ASSHAT

[ **Akaashi** ]: Well, if you really want to see….

[ **Akaashi** ]: You’ll have to ask first

[ **Akaashi** ]: Consent, remember?

[ **Akaashi** ]: You know what, here’s a helpful guide on consent.

[ **Akaashi** ]: [Image Attached]

[ **Akaashi** ]: And here’s the wikihow for gay sex

[ **Akaashi** ]: [Link Attached]

[ **Konoha** ]: WHHHYYYYYYYY

[ **Akaashi** ]: I already told you: safe sex is the best sex.

Akaashi’s wrapped up giggling at Konoha’s misery when he hears a knock at his door. All the light and happiness drains from him at that point.

_Shit. Now I need Konoha’s emotional support. I fucked up. I done goofed!_

He scurries to the door, anxiety building back up inside him. Kuroo’s standing there in painted on jeans and a plaid button up that’s slightly unbuttoned with the sleeves are pushed up. He’s got this innocent eager grin on his face unlike his usual devious smirk. At least, it’d be innocent, if Akaashi couldn’t see a hickie on his neck and one peeking out from his collarbone.

_Thanks for the delicious snack, Bokuto-san~. I can’t wait to add to those~_

“You ready?”

_In more ways than one. Holy fuck. You’re just being cruel now. Put those forearms away. Or how about we just skip the date? We don’t need the formality. In fact, why don’t we just build up an appetite first and then go eat? Wouldn’t that be better? It makes more sense in the grand scheme of things._

“Let me grab my phone and turn off the lights.”

“Kenma’s not going to call with some emergency to get you out of our date, is he?”

_He wants me to get laid, so that’s going to be a hard no. If anything, he’s left the country so he won’t have to hear about it later. I’ll still video call him and give him excruciating detail, though. He’s going to hate it. Watching his disgusted face will be euphoric._

“No.”

“That’s a relief.”

“But his boyfriend may or may not be scheduled to call approximately an hour in saying that Kenma is terribly ill or his grandmother has passed away. It’s up in the air still for which one. He might toss a coin for it.”

“His grandmother is dead.”

“Then it’s not exactly a lie then, is it?” Akaashi wrinkles his nose at Kuroo before smirking and locking his door. “What about you? Any science experiments scheduled to be ruined today?”

“Ha. Ha.” Kuroo shakes his head back at Akaashi sassily. “No one’s allowed in the lab today and I have my phone set so the only ones that can contact me are my mother and Bo. Even then, it’s set to mindfulness mode, so they’ll be prompted to declare it an emergency.”

“So, we’ll definitely be hearing from Bokuto-san then?”

“Probably.” Kuroo sighs. “I told him not to unless it has to deal with Bagheera, if that’s any consolation.”

“Not even if he accidentally hurts himself?”

“What am I going to do? That’s what 119 is for.” Kuroo scoffs. “He’ll probably call asking where I hid the chips or something, though.”

“Don’t worry. I’d bet my book collection Konoha will call or text me freaking out at some point.”

“And Kenma or his boyfriend?”

“Yes, but you’re not supposed to know about that.” Akaashi gives a light chuckle and smirks again. “Where are we going today anyway? Disneyland?”

“Yup!”

“I see-. Wait.” Akaashi whips his head over to Kuroo. “We’re not _actually_ going to Disneyland, are we?”

“Well, we’re not _now_ since you seem so against it!” Kuroo sticks out his lower lip and pouts.

“No. I think we should go. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have a child. Maybe going with you will remind me why I haven’t adopted yet.”

A smirk lights up on Kuroo’s face. “And I’ll get a chance to hear you scream.”

_We’ll see about that._

“Good luck. I don’t scream.”

_Outside of occasionally in the bedroom._

**. . .**

“I can’t believe you don’t scream! What kind of person can go on roller coasters like that and not yell or scream?” Kuroo’s got one hand in his hair and looks like he’s on the cusp of a freak out.

Akaashi tilts his head slightly and gives a smile. “A civilized adult?”

“You had a deadpan expression for every ride.”

Akaashi purses his lips at the boldfaced lie of an accusation Kuroo was making. “That’s not true.”

“Okay,” Kuroo nods, “every ride except for when those teenagers lost their phones.”

Akaashi gives a snicker remembering how distraught the kids were when their phones flew from their hands as they tried to record the ride from the first row. “Sorry. Things like that don’t scare me. They’re enjoyable but I don’t feel the need to yell. I’m not like you and Bokuto-san and feel the need to yell at every chance possible. I’m not a loud person.”

“Oh, come on! There has to be something that will make you scream!”

_I can think of a few things but they’re at home type activities. Although, it’s been a while since I’ve had sex in public. Kind of racy for our first time and it being at Disneyland but I’m willing to take that chance if you are. Surely, it’s less frowned upon than the people who spread their loved one’s ashes here. Easier to clean too. There is the potential for no cleanup required as well._

“What about heights?”

“I rock climb or mountain climb almost every weekend.”

“The haunted house?”

“Not real and poorly produced.”

“Eating weird food?”

“I’ll try anything once.”

_That goes for bedroom activities as well~._

“Uggh!” Kuroo messes up his hair. “Snakes? Spiders? You said you were creeped out the other day thinking a spider was on you.”

“I’m not particularly fond of either, but I’m not scared of them enough to make me scream. I said I was going to burn the building down and that’s a perfectly natural human response to having a spider on you. Besides, why are you trying to make me scream? Is that your kink or something?”

Kuroo gives him a deadpan face. “No. I just can’t believe you don’t. I won’t accept it.”

“This isn’t going to become a thing, is it?” Akaashi squints at him. “I’m not going to have to live in fear you’re going to bring strange things home in attempt to scare me, am I?”

Kuroo’s eyes widen and flicker. “Maybe.”

“Oh, no.” Akaashi groans and covers his face with one hand. “What if I don’t know what would make me scream? The loudest I’ve ever gotten is a startled ‘oh’ or screaming internally.”

“Then we’ll just have to figure it out together then.”

Akaashi jolts his head back slightly and raises an eyebrow.

_Sounds like we’re growing old together._

“Ready for dinner then?”

Akaashi grins. “Always ready for food.”

“Great. We’re going to do some college kid things since we didn’t last time.” Kuroo gives a wink and holds his hand out for Akaashi to hold.

Akaashi stares at Kuroo’s unwavering hand for a moment before taking it. Some poor parent was going to have to explain to their child while two grown men were holding hands. That thought made his heart soar more than getting paid and potential after dinner activities did.

“What are you grinning at?”

“All the pissed parents that are about to be forced to explain homosexuality to their kids.” He gives a snicker, already seeing one child looking at them with frowning parents.

“Ohohoho? Should we kiss then? Give them something else to explain?”

“I’m petty as hell, but I don’t really get off on having a child audience.”

“That means it’d be okay if there weren’t children watching?”

Akaashi looks at Kuroo from the corner of his eyes. “Perhaps. Depends on what kind of college kid activities you think you’re dragging me through.”

**. . .**

By college kid things, apparently Kuroo had meant drinking. Bottle after bottle came with dinner. Akaashi could hold his own, but this was beginning to be too much for him. Although, Kuroo had a buzzed blush across his face along with a smile that wasn’t fading.

Akaashi narrows his eyes and sways slightly, already lit. “I’m starting to think you’re trying to get me really drunk.”

_If you get me too drunk I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it up. Or if I can, if I’ll be able to have sex without needing to pee. That kind of ruins things. Though, I’m having a blast right now~._

“No?” Kuroo smiles in fake innocence. “These are just college kid things. You know, drinking yourself to death while you stare at your hot date that’s way too pretty for you and push worries of all the homework you still haven’t done even though it’s due this week and your livelihood is on the line away.” He shrugs playing off those fears and taking another drink to help push them down.

_That’s not oddly specific at all._

“Pshh.” Akaashi slurs slightly. “I tried to drink myself to death in college. It didn’t work. You know, since I’m so much older than you and already finished college.” He gives a small snort and rolls his eyes. “And who said I was staring at you? There’s some ravishing food on the table here and that’s all I have the brain capacity to think about right now.”

Kuroo gives his own small snort at that and giggles. “I was talking about me but thanks for admitting you find me sexy.”

“Hot.”

“Hm?”

“You said hot, not sexy.”

“You didn’t disagree with that either.”

“Well, I have damn eyes.” Akaashi rolls them to make a point and shakes his head. “I mean, seriously. You know you are, that’s why you’ve got those damn forearms out!”

“Forearms?” Kuroo laughs and looks up toward the ceiling. “You’re an entirely different person when you drink. Wish I wouldn’t have been so drunk last time, so I could’ve remembered it. Well. Aside from the video Bo took of us yelling out in the streets.”

Akaashi points to Kuroo as sternly as he can manage. “That video doesn’t exist because that _never_ happened and you’re wrong about me being different.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yup! Same person.” Akaashi puts his hands in the air and waggles his fingers. “Just lose my filter.” He gives a snicker. “Earlier Konoha asked why people think I’m a respectable adult. Told him it was my gay magic.” He gives another snort and laughs to himself. “Speaking of,” he trails off and pulls his phone from his pocket. “It’s time to make that fucker more uncomfortable than he already is.”

Kuroo takes a sip of his drink and watches him, amused. He silently laughs at Akaashi as he makes faces at his phone trying to figure out how to get it to behave the way he wants. Sometimes booze made it hard for Akaashi to remember how to make his phone get to the places he wanted it to.

Akaashi messily pulls up the camera and slides into the booth beside Kuroo. He presses his cheek up to Kuroo’s, makes a v with his fingers, sticks his tongue in-between them, and gives a wink. Kuroo moves his head and kisses Akaashi on the cheek for their photo. Akaashi snaps the picture but instead of sending it automatically, he sets his phone on the table, and turns toward Kuroo.

He brushes his lips against Kuroo’s and skirts his hand up Kuroo’s chest to the bottom of his hair. Kuroo presses back against his lips firmly and wraps an arm around Akaashi’s waist, prompting Akaashi to press his body against Kuroo’s. He opens his mouth slightly and Kuroo’s warm tongue presses against his own.

_He feels so good._

He manages to drape one leg over Kuroo’s, pressing his crotch against him and moving toward straddling him when he lets out a low whine that pulls him back to the present; which was in public. And he was starting to get hard. He presses his lips firmly against Kuroo one last time before pulling away.

Kuroo’s eyes rove over his face, pupils dilated, and bites his lip.

Akaashi leans back in, brushing his lips against Kuroo’s but not kissing him. “That wasn’t because you were drunk, was it?”

“Fuck no.” Kuroo whispers back, eyes roaming over Akaashi and flickering back down to his lips again. “Wanted to do that for a long time now.”

“Good.” Akaashi presses his lips against Kuroo’s again. When he pulls away, Kuroo chases after him slightly, not wanting to stop, but Akaashi gets up and returns to his side of the booth. He grabs his phone with a smirk to send the photo to Konoha. Kissing Kuroo and the bulge in his pants wasn’t enough to make him forget to be an asshole.

[ **Akaashi** ]: [Image Attached}

[ **Akaashi** ]: About to get pounded by Bokuto’s sloppy seconds in the bathroom <3

He pockets his phone before locking eyes with Kuroo again. He feels a shiver go up his spine in anticipation.

Kuroo’s eyes are half-lidded now. He runs his tongue over his top lip slightly. “I have somewhere else I want to take you before we end this outing.”

Akaashi raises an eyebrow and takes another drink. “More college kid things?”

“You could call it that.”

**. . .**

They wind up on a rooftop garden. Akaashi gazes over the buildings, feeling the breeze blow against his face and making him shiver.

_Romantic. I bet people propose here. There’s even roses and private benches._

“Are we going to jump? Is that the college kid thing to do?” He turns to look at Kuroo with raised eyebrows.

Kuroo snorts and wraps an arm around Akaashi. “You can if you really want to, but this is just something college kids come to do. Normally, I’d say we could have a picnic up here, but it’s a bit cold for that.”

Akaashi hums and presses closer to Kuroo. “Why _do_ college kids come up here?”

“To jump.” Kuroo snorts.

“ _I knew it_.” Akaashi mutters back. “It is pretty, though.”

“Mhm. You are very pretty.”

“I’m aware.” Akaashi snickers. “That wasn’t very smooth at all. Please tell me you didn’t bag our national hero, Bokuto-san, with poor lines like that.”

“Psh. Pretty sure he didn’t look at anything but my thighs for several months. I’m still not sure if he even knows what color my eyes are or what I’m going to school for.”

Akaashi frowns and nods his head in agreement.

_Bokuto and I have more in common that I thought._

“But, uh, speaking of.” Kuroo rubs the back of his head and turns a little to face Akaashi. “You remember we have an open relationship, right?”

_I’m excruciatingly aware._

“I haven’t forgotten. Otherwise I wouldn’t dare go out on a date with you. He seems very nice but I’m highly aware that he could throw me through a wall on accident.”

“So, you admit this is a date?” Kuroo smirks.

_Thanks for confirming my fear that Bokuto-san is too strong. I’m impressed your apartment doesn’t have holes in the wall from him accidentally getting too rough during sex._

Akaashi deadpans. “Your words, not mine.”

Kuroo snorts and shakes his head. “Hide your displeasure at spending time with me for a moment.”

“If you insist, I’ll listen since you fed me. And owe me desserts. I’ll take some white cake with strawberries sometime this week. Buttercream icing, though. Keep that whipped shit out of my home.”

“Yeah, yeah. My husband only loves me for my baking” Kuroo snickers and shakes his head at Akaashi. “Anyway. Both he and I haven’t dated anyone else in a while. We haven’t really wanted to since Tsukki broke up with us. We’re getting older and busier. Dating around isn’t something we really have the time or desire for.”

“Why are you making it sound like you’re middle aged?”

Kuroo gives a pout and stares at Akaashi, probably in attempt to keep Akaashi on track.

Akaashi gazes into Kuroo’s eyes, his expression revealing nothing. “Fine. I’ll bite. Then why take me on a date?”

“Because I want to seriously date you.” A slow non-booze induced blush spreads across Kuroo’s face. “Not for threesomes or anything like that. Because I like you. Bo and I’ve already discussed it and he trusts you. You’d just be dating me, though, unless you and he decide otherwise later. But that’s between you two.”

Akaashi’s eyes rove over Kuroo’s face. He’d been aiming to get laid, not get a boyfriend. This was unanticipated, to say the least.

_Who knew the pervert was a romantic? Wait. Maybe I’m the pervert and he’s the romantic? No way. He’s definitely the pervert here. But I don’t think I’d be against dating him. Spending time with him has always been nice._

“Uh. You don’t have to decide right now. And I understand if this whole polyamory thing isn’t your thing. Or if you’re not even interested in me like that. Uh.”

_He’s so cute when he’s flustered._

Kuroo swallows and looks out over the balcony.

“Are you considering jumping before I get the chance to answer?” Akaashi purrs, softly turning Kuroo’s chin back to him.

“Uh. No?”

Akaashi gives a silent laugh before leaning in closer. “For someone who dates a pro athlete, poses as a porn star, and as already kissed me, you sure are timid.” He closes the gap between them, kissing Kuroo back hard.

Kuroo’s arms tighten around Akaashi’s waist. Akaashi drapes one leg between Kuroo’s and kisses down his neck, leaving his own mark beside Bokuto’s.

“I’d like to date you as well. And not just so you’ll bake me things.”

**. . .**

By the time they get back to the apartment complex, they’re mostly sober and trying desperately to keep their hands off each other in case they run into someone that knows them or who would want to have an extremely awkward conversation about why they were dry humping each other in the hallway and why Kuroo had so many visible hickies. He was going to have a really hard time when he went back to school Monday.

Once on their floor, Akaashi grabs Kuroo’s shirt and presses his lips against Kuroo’s, walking slowly backwards, luring him to his apartment door.

“So demanding.” Kuroo purrs against his lips.

Akaashi’s back collides against his door. He looks up at Kuroo with an unwavering stare. “You have no idea.” He mutters before acting like he’s going to kiss Kuroo but turns abruptly to unlock his door, intentionally rubbing his ass on Kuroo’s crotch in the process.

Kuroo puts his hands on Akaashi’s hips, pressing his crotch against Akaashi’s ass more, and runs his lips down the back of Akaashi’s neck.

To Akaashi’s amazement, he manages to unlock the door. He slams it open, turns around and pulls Kuroo inside, kicking the door, hopefully, closed behind them. He sucks on Kuroo’s neck while simultaneously kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning Kuroo’s shirt, all while pulling Kuroo to the bedroom.

He gets Kuroo’s shirt unbuttoned and off before he collides with his bed, falling backward and pulling Kuroo on top of him. He’s busy tugging at the button on Kuroo’s jeans while Kuroo kisses his neck and slides a hand up Akaashi’s shirt. Akaashi finagles Kuroo’s pants unbuttoned before tightening his legs around him and flipping them over to where Akaashi was straddling Kuroo. He whips off his own shirt before dipping down to mark Kuroo further. Bokuto blessed him with hickies earlier. It was his duty to return Kuroo with at least twice as many.

Kuroo fumbles with Akaashi’s pants button and pushes his jeans down as far as possible. Akaashi parts from him briefly before throwing pulling Kuroo’s pants off so that Kuroo’s only in his tight underwear and Akaashi still has his jeans.

“No fair.” Kuroo whines, his hand sliding down Akaashi’s stomach to his pants zipper. He manages to get Akaashi’s pants unzipped before he realizes Akaashi wasn’t wearing any underwear. He slides his hand in Akaashi’s pants, palm against his pubes, down to his swollen cock.

Akaashi whines from being touched by someone else for the first time in a long time. He bites Kuroo’s chest hard before tugging his pants down slightly to where Kuroo could touch him more.

Kuroo gently pulls Akaashi’s cock all the way from his pants and strokes him slowly. He’s panting slightly, probably not used to having to hold back with a lover, and his eyes are full of only Akaashi.

Akaashi groans more and slides his hands down to Kuroo’s boxers to pull them off. Kuroo lifts his hips for him and Akaashi flings them on the floor. He runs a and down Kuroo’s stomach, looking at his naked body, eyes hungry for him, and bites his lip, before realizing he still had his pants on. He kicks them off with reckless abandon before leaning back over Kuroo to kiss him and press their cocks together.

Kuroo grabs both their cocks with one hand, stroking them steadily, and runs his hand through Akaashi’s hair with the other.

Akaashi kisses down Kuroo’s neck again, debating if he wanted to leave even more marks, or let Kuroo go ahead and bang him into a coma. Instead, he pinches Kuroo’s stomach lightly.

“This is so cute, Tetsurou.” He smirks against Kuroo’s neck.

Kuroo’s dick twitches against Akaashi’s at the sound of his name.

Akaashi bites Kuroo’s peck and smirks against him again. “What’s the matter, Tetsurou?”

Kuroo groans, abandoning stoking their cocks, and grabs Akaashi’s face with both hands. He’s got a pout on his face, but he’s trying to hide a smile. “You know I have a name kink.”

“I don’t know what you could ever be talking about, _Tetsurou_.” Akaashi bites his lip, trying hard not to laugh. “We’ve never had sex before. How could I _possibly_ know that?”

Kuroo purses his lips before wrapping his arms around Akaashi again and flipping them back over. “Whatever you say, Keiji.” He smirks back triumphantly.

Akaashi’s smirk grows. “I don’t have a name kink, Tetsurou.” He leans over to dig in his bedside drawer and pulls out lube and condoms. “Now, Tetsurou, are we having sex or not?”

Kuroo hums, waving his head slightly around in fake debate before biting Akaashi hard on the neck and grabbing the lube. “Top or bottom?”

“Bottom. You don’t have to worry about stretching me.” Akaashi gasps out, getting excited it was finally about to happen. He’d been listening to Kuroo and Bokuto have sex for months and now he was going to get to experience it.

Kuroo sits back up, grabbing the condom this time to put on, and smirks at him. “No underwear and you don’t need to be stretched? It’s almost like someone planned on getting laid tonight.”

Akaashi deadpans and glares back at him and readjusts so that Kuroo is in-between his legs. “It’s not too early to breakup with you.”

Kuroo finishes sliding the condom on and is applying lube to himself, still smirking. He places his free hand over his heart and gives a fake gasp. “You mean a divorce!”

Akaashi snorts, wraps his arms around Kuroo’s neck, and pulls him back parallel with him. “Save the shitty bedroom talk for Bokuto.”

Kuroo grins and presses against Akaashi’s hole. “Whatever you say, babe.” He slowly presses in Akaashi, watching his face.

Akaashi’s melting at the sensation but is trying his best to keep a deadpan face, not wanting Kuroo to get the satisfaction of watching him writhe in pleasure right now. He’s failing to hide a smile on his face though. He pulls Kuroo in for another kiss, feeling Kuroo’s own smile against his own.

Kuroo starts to fuck him gently, sliding in and out, the condom and lube making squelching sounds that make Akaashi moan. The months of listening to Kuroo and Bokuto fuck really had messed with his attraction to sound.

“Mhn. Tetsurou.” Akaashi groans as Kuroo thrusts into him.

As planned, Kuroo slams into him a bit harder, making Akaashi’s legs tighten around his waist and dick twitch.

“That’s right. Keep saying my name, Keiji.” Kuroo groans, grabbing Akaashi’s ass and squeezing it.

Akaashi snickers before flipping Kuroo back over on his back and straddling him. He gives Kuroo a wide grin, not moving on Kuroo’s dick, but stroking himself lightly. “What? You think I do all that climbing and don’t have the strength to throw you around several times?” He licks his lips before placing one hand on Kuroo’s chest and bouncing on his cock.

Kuroo’s hands grasp his hips and ass to help him. His cock is so hard in Akaashi’s ass, he expects him to come any second.

He bites his lip and removes his hand from Kuroo’s chest, using it to play with one of his nipples instead to give a bit of a show. He’d asked Akaashi to say his name more, so that’s exactly what he was going to get.

“Mhng, Tetsurou. Tetsurou.” Akaashi moans as he continues to bounce more franticly on him. Kuroo’s breath is starting to get ragged and he’s grunting every so often, making Akaashi quiver at the sweet sound. Akaashi’s eyes flicker down to him devilishly. “Tetsurou, pound me baby!”

Akaashi slams down on Kuroo particularly hard, earning a closed mouth moan from Kuroo, hands tightly squeezing Akaashi’s hips, and eyes snapped shut. Akaashi gazes down at him orgasming and listening to his moans, stroking himself rapidly until he spills onto his hand and Kuroo’s stomach.

When Kuroo finally opens his eyes, he looks sort of offended. It probably doesn’t help that Akaashi is still on top of him smirking.

“It’s unfair you know my kink and I don’t know yours.”

“Don’t worry,” Akaashi lifts himself off Kuroo and collapses on top of him to kiss him. “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

**. . .**

Instead of Bo’s usual snoring, Kuroo wakes to Akaashi sleeping silently beside him. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but they’d drank a lot yesterday and had sex several times. Hell. He was going to need today and maybe tomorrow to recover from their date.

He smiles at Akaashi and brushes some of that unruly curly hair away from his eyes. He looked so peaceful and not at all spiteful right now.

_That gay magic he was talking about must be at its peak when he’s sleeping._

Kuroo smirks before pulling Akaashi into a hug. There was no way he was going to be awake in bed with Akaashi, his new boyfriend, and not snuggle him to death. That would be unheard of. If he didn’t, they’d be no closer than strangers even though they were still both very naked and somewhat sticky all over. Not to mention there were probably used condoms on the floor.

Akaashi gives a sleepy moan and lightly pushes him. “No, you pervert. It’s sleep time. You’ve woken me up far too many times already.”

A smile spreads across Kuroo’s face and he quietly laughs. Akaashi peeks one eye open at him.

“Sorry about that.”

“’t’s fine.” Akaashi mumbles before snuggling closer to Kuroo.

Kuroo runs a hand through Akaashi’s hair and kisses his forehead. “You want some breakfast? I have the stuff for chicken and waffles.”

“Chicken and waffles?”

“Trust me on it. It’ll rock your world.”

Akaashi hums. “I’ll trust you. You’ve never been wrong about food before.” His hands slip down to pinch Kuroo’s stomach again, mouth smirking against Kuroo’s skin. “But I’m not hungry yet.”

“Ohoho? Then you’ll just have to work up an appetite.” Kuroo smirks before pushing Akaashi onto his back.

Akaashi’s eyes flutter open, that stormy sky color boring into Kuroo. He gives a small smile before closing his eyes again and adjusting slightly to be more comfortable.

Kuroo kisses him on the lips once before slowly kissing down his jaw, then to his neck, and chest. He runs one hand up Akaashi’s thigh as he moves down to Akaashi’s stomach, earning a small giggle from it tickling him. He continues kissing and nipping to Akaashi’s hip, which had a small yellow bruise on it from yesterday now, before lifting one of Akaashi’s legs up and kissing and licking from his knee to his very inner thigh.

Akaashi groans and tilts his hips upward, already half hard from Kuroo kissing all over him. Kuroo smirks and kisses up Akaashi’s other leg from the knee to the thigh.

“Tetsurou,” Akaashi whines, eyes still shut, possibly trying to sleep still.

Kuroo grins and tilts Akaashi’s hips up slightly before pressing his mouth against his hole. Akaashi groans out in pleasure and surprise.

“God. Tetsurou. Mhn. I think that’s my new kink.” Akaashi groans, back arching slightly.

Kuroo hums against him, causing him to groan out again. He brings one hand up and alternates between eating him out and fingering him. Akaashi moans out like a beautiful, horny bird for him.

“Fuck. Tetsurou. Mmm. It feels so good. Fuck me now, Tetsurou.”

He shakes his head against Akaashi’s hole, trying not to smirk too much. Akaashi wasn’t quite where he wanted him to be yet.

“Hnng.” Akaashi lets out another moan and grabs Kuroo’s hair. His legs are starting to tremble beside Kuroo now.

_Perfect._

Kuroo pulls away, wiping his mouth on Akaashi’s leg for the disgusted reaction, and rifles through Akaashi’s drawer for another condom. Akaashi had left the lube on the nightstand last night, for ‘just in case’. There had been more condoms too, but they’d already taken care of all them.

Condom on and lubed up, he wraps an arm around Akaashi’s waist, lifts Akaashi’s ass so that his knees are under him and buries his cock in him. Akaashi moans out instantly and Kuroo slams into him harder, stroking Akaashi gently with his free hand.

Akaashi’s legs wrap tightly around Kuroo’s waist and he runs his nails into Kuroo’s back, panting and coming undone for Kuroo just like Kuroo had done for him last night. Kuroo brushes against his prostate and he releases Kuroo’s back, arching back into the bed.

“Tetsurou, m-more!” Akaashi pants out, eyes now locked with Kuroo’s, and one hand in Kuroo’s hair. He leans up slightly to kiss Kuroo.

Kuroo pounds into him harder and strokes him faster, causing Akaashi to give up attempting to kiss him. He arches more into the bed and loses the hold he’d had around Kuroo’s waist. His legs tense up mid-air, toes curling as he orgasms with Kuroo slamming into him. Kuroo grabs Akaashi’s ass with both hands and slams into him a few more times before letting out a moan of his own as he finishes.

Sweaty and now starving, Kuroo pulls out of Akaashi, and collapses on the bed beside him.

“Please tell me you’re hungry now. I don’t think I can do that again without some other type of sustenance.”

Akaashi gives a groan. “I thought you were making me breakfast?”

Kuroo snorts and gives Akaashi a kiss. “I am.”

“Good.” Akaashi smiles and kisses him again. “I’m going to shower now. You showering here or your place?”

“My place. I’d like some clothes while I’m at it. Plus, all the food and dishes I need are there.”

“M’kay.” Akaashi hums, eyes fluttering back closed again. Suddenly, his eyes fly back open. “Bokuto-san.”

Kuroo tilts his head slightly. “What about him?”

“He’s not going to be worried that you didn’t come home last night?”

Kuroo stares at Akaashi blankly for a second before bursting into a loud gut laugh. “He knew we were going on a date. I’m sure he’s not worried. Plus,” he smirks and pulls Akaashi in close, “I’m pretty sure he knows what I’ve been up to.”

Akaashi’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open slightly. “Oh, fuck.”

Kuroo forces a frown, trying to hold back his laughter, but ends up snorting hard and breaking out into another laugh. “Don’t worry! I know he loved it. I’m sure you and I both have a bajillion texts along the lines of ‘That’s so hot’ and ‘holy fuck. I’m so jealous.’” Kuroo rolls his eyes, knowing that as soon as he gets back to his apartment, Bokuto is going to be all over him asking questions.

Akaashi hides his face in Kuroo’s chest and groans.

“Want me to bring breakfast to you?”

There’s silence for a moment followed by Akaashi huffing. “No. I’ll come over in a bit. I’m sure having breakfast with both of your boyfriends would be nice.”

Kuroo squeals and squeezes Akaashi too tightly. “I’d _love_ it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dudes. If your partner is ever upset with you, two things will immediately help: clean up your home and eat ass. It’s that simple. Some of you ladies might ask “but what if my boyfriend doesn’t like getting his ass ate?”. The answer is simple: dump his ass. He’s a liar and you don’t need that kind of toxic masculinity in your life.
> 
> Ngl, pippi dongstocking came from family feud. That’s what they displayed on the board instead of condom because obviously that was much more family friendly than condom.
> 
> Kuroo knows whats up; morning sex and waffles and chicken. Akaashi's probably writing his vows already.


	12. (Side Chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STILL NOT DEAD
> 
> Sorry I'm taking so long. I was doing dude-bro things. (Read: getting money)

Konoha wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans again. Texting Keiji had been a horrible move on his part. He knew it would be, but it was still infinitely better than texting Komi or Kenma. It was strange how that asshole still managed to be the best for moral support, and well, Keiji didn’t even really know how to do that. Not for his friends, at least. If it was someone he found attractive, he would suddenly become a sage with a heart of gold and ears great for listening. At least until he banged the dude. Keiji was quick to threaten knifing people that were rude to his friends, though, so that was always something.

_We’re just two guys hanging out. Just two dude bros chilling and getting food. Nothing remotely sexual about it at all. Nope! Totally straight things._

He wipes his hands on his jeans again. Bokuto was late and it was only making his anxiety worse. Being stood up on a date was devastating. Being stood up on a date by your idol was world shattering. He already had the half-gallon of ice cream and Thor: Ragnarok at home if things didn’t turn out well on this date.

_Nope! Not a date! Straight dude-bro things._

He pulls his phone from his pocket again, pretending to casually internet while leaning against a building they were supposed to meet at. Casual-cool. That was Konoha. Yup. Totally cool and not screaming internally at himself, Keiji, and God, not necessarily in that order.

“Konoha!”

Konoha looks up from his phone to see Bokuto running toward him, absolutely beaming and waving his arm frantically in excitement. He’s wearing tight dark jeans and a plain t-shirt with a black vest over it. Konoha’s heart does a flip in his chest and drops to his feet.

_Oh shit. He’s hot. Why is he so hot?_

“Hey, man! Sorry I’m late!”

_Yes. Man. Dude bro things. Buddies. Pals. Slime._

Bokuto stops in front of him and catches his breath. He lifts a small bouquet and holds it out toward Konoha that he’d entirely missed earlier because he was looking . . . elsewhere. “The first flower shop I went to was closed today, so I had to find another!”

“Oh.” Konoha dumbly replies as he takes the flowers.

_This is a fucking date. You’re going to get laid by that beautiful specimen of a man in front of you. He’s so beautiful he’s awakening your inner gay man. Baby gay man according to Keiji._

“Thank you.” Konoha musters a smile. “Don’t worry about being late. I just got here.”

_In the grand scheme of things at least. I’d wait forever for you. . . Wait. No._

Bokuto flashes him that sparkling grin again and Konoha feels his knees starting to buckle.

_I think I’m in love with this man. Holy shit. I want to have his children. I don’t know how that’s going to work, but science is amazing now days. I’ll find a way. Mpreg will be made a reality._

“You look great, by the way!” Bokuto conspicuously eyes him up and down.

_Fuuuucccckkkkk. Hide your erection Konoha! You’re just confused. Erections are a totally normal thing you get for people you admire greatly. I bet if you met Obama you’d get an erection for him too. Who wouldn’t? Just play it cool._

He tries to speak but ends up choking on his own spit.

_Keiji was right. I’m a disaster gay. I’m ashamed I even know what that is, but it’s time to embrace it. Embrace who I am. Remember who you aaaarrrreeee._

“Oh man, you okay?” Bokuto slaps him on the back a few times. It was meant to be a nice gesture, but Konoha has to fight back a whimper of pain. Bokuto didn’t know what self-restraint was apparently. Or he was just that strong from spiking all those balls.

_I wonder if he’s rough in be—_

He shakes his head roughly. “Yeah. Fine.” Konoha weakly lets out and pretends his back wasn’t stinging. Hopefully the hand print would disappear before they got naked later. Possibly got naked later. He’d seen Bokuto get dejected on the court. He didn’t want to see him cry in bed. “So, uh. What did you have planned today?”

Bokuto’s face lights up in a way that’s both endearing and terrifying.

_I suddenly regret this date. Wait. No. Outing. Fan service? VIP meet and greet? Escort service? Fuck. Am I going to have to pay him at the end of the day?_

“I’m so glad you asked~” Bokuto purrs inching toward Konoha. “Are you ready to have fun?”

Konoha swallows drying and takes a half-step away from Bokuto.

_I am very afraid and very horny right now. That’s what I am._

“Y-yeah.”

“Great!” Bokuto’s sunshine smile reappears. “Let’s go play some volleyball!”

“W-what?”

**. . .**

Bokuto leads, or rather seduces, him to the gym where the national team practices. Bokuto’s seductiveness aside, Konoha probably would’ve followed him everywhere. Mordor? Great.

_What the hell is going on? This must be a dream. I’m still sleeping, and I slept through my date and only chance to hang out with The Bokuto Koutarou™. I’m a shame to my family, my country, and every gay activist who fought to help gain gay acceptance in society._

They find the locker room where Bokuto throws some clothes at him. “Change! You can’t play in that!” He beams before stripping his shirt off.

Konoha’s eyes go wide as he eyes Bokuto’s stupidly thick muscular naked torso. Bokuto starts unbuttoning his pants and Konoha quickly turns. It’s not like he hadn’t seen dick before. He’d seen more dick than he cared for. That’s just what happened as you get older. It didn’t help that Keiji had a tendency to strip when he drinks too much. Thankfully, they only had to compare dick sizes once. He gives a slight shudder before throwing his own clothes off and putting on some mystery shorts and t-shirt. Thankfully, they’re only slightly bigger than him.

“I knew Tetsu’s clothes would fit on you!” Bokuto beams at him, hands on hips and strangely still shirtless.

Konoha’s heart drops at that. Bokuto already had someone who he cared for. He didn’t have any business having a one-night-stand with some stranger who was gaga over him just because he played for the national team. Open relationship or not, he didn’t have any business here. He wasn’t even gay. Mostly. Probably. Okay. He was definitely gay for Bokuto.

“Hmm. I wonder how his and Keiji’s date is going anyway.” Bokuto rubs his chin and pouts. “I really wanted to spy on them.” He sticks his lips out still pouting before his face lights up. “But I get to play with you instead! Let’s go!”

It’s at that instant Konoha feels Cupid’s arrow shoot through his heart.

_It’s that smile. That one right there. Who couldn’t love this man when he smiles like that? How does he not have more obsessive fans?_

He grabs Konoha’s hand and drags him out to the court.

“Uh, Bokuto-san?”

“Hm?” Bokuto continues to drag him.

“You forgot your shirt.”

He does a half turn and winks. “I didn’t forget anything.”

And it was at that moment Konoha thought his nose was going to erupt blood so hard that he would be propelled to the ground, knock his head against the floor, and kill him instantly.

_I’m in trouble. Or love. I’m not sure. Mama always said love will get you killed and I think I’m finally starting to understand._

When Konoha comes back to reality, he notices that Bokuto had gotten a ball and several other men were gathered around. Surprised, he looks around at the strangers only to realize they weren’t strangers. Well. Kind of not strangers. He knew them, but there was no way in hell that they’d know who he was. He was standing in front of players from the national team. Most weren’t starters, but they still played on the national stage, nonetheless.

_Holy fuck. I was not prepared for this. I wasn’t prepared for this date. Or even seeing Bokuto-san shirtless. How am I supposed to handle meeting these people?_

“Konoha, I’m assuming you already know everyone?”

He gives a weak nod back.

“Great! Everyone, this is Konoha Akinori. He’s my date today!”

Konoha feels his heart leap in his chest in pride. Then the overwhelming urge to vomit everywhere hits him. Followed by terror and sweat. Lots of sweat. Like an ungodly amount of sweat. He whips his head over to Bokuto in horror, who’s still smiling like an idiot.

“That’s nice, Kou-Kou. Just because you brought a date, it doesn’t mean that we’re going to let you win today.” A redhead snorts.

_Tendo Satori. Holy shit._

Konoha eyes him with delight. Tendo was one of the players that was both infuriating and amazing due to his special skills. He didn’t play much and was rumored to always be on suspension due to him barely ever being seen, but when he did, it was a spectacle. The crowd loved him.

_I need his autograph. I need everyone’s autograph. I didn’t come prepared for this. I just brought a bunch of stupid condoms instead of pen and paper. I’m an idiot! I could’ve passed down their autographs to my and Bokuto-san’s grandchildren!_

“Ohoho? You still think you can defeat me?” Bokuto crosses his arms and glares a bit. “Don’t worry. I’m still going to win even though my date isn’t on the national team. That’ll show you just how good I am.” He takes a step toward Tendo in intimidation.

_He’s shorter. Holy shit that’s adorable._

Konoha shakes more intrusive thoughts away. “Bokuto-san,” he whispers as he pulls Bokuto away from the group slightly. “I’m an office worker. A civil servant. There’s no way I can even think about going against these guys!”

Bokuto breaks out into a large laugh. “Well, duh! Tendo and I are just giving each other shit. We’re just here to have fun!” He beams and slaps Konoha on the back.

_Yeah. Fun. Okay. You’ve never played a match for just fun once in your life. You’re too competitive for that. You told an interviewer that two years ago!_

**. . .**

Volleyball does end up being fun. Well. Fun after the first set where he was a nervous wreck stuck between peeing himself and standing in place like he’d never played volleyball once in his life. If he’d gotten a ball to the face, he’d almost been as bad as Hinata had been when he first started playing. Not that he’d ever mention _that_ to Kenma. Regardless, he was _totally_ killing the whole impress his date thing. Bokuto didn’t seem to care, though. He was having fun and it showed. As anticipated, he also played to win. Even though it was just a fun match, he still gave it his all.

His glorious shirtless all.

Konoha may or may not have almost lost his head because he got distracted by Bokuto’s back muscles. Most people would say his arms, or his chest was his best asset. His stomach was also a good contender. His thighs were also super hot with the long kneepads he wore. However, his muscular back made Konoha want to run his hands down it and bite him all over.

“Whoo!” Bokuto wipes his face and neck down with a towel. “Wasn’t that great? I’m starved now! We should shower up and get food!”

Konoha looks longingly at the rest of the team who are taking a break before going back to practicing. “Uh. Yeah.”

A sweaty arm wraps around him. He turns his head to see Bokuto staring at the team as well with a grin on his face. “Don’t worry. I have what you want in my locker already.” He gives a wink before pulling his arm off Konoha and slapping his ass. “Now let’s go shower!” He hoots before slapping Konoha on the ass and walking to the locker room.

_Is he an idiot or a genius? I hate it either way._

**. . .**

“Uh, Bokuto-san?” Konoha eyes the building they’re walking toward suspiciously.

_I’m not ready for this. He said food! Not sex! The whole time here I’ve only been thinking about my gut!_

“Mhm?”

“I thought you said we were going to eat. This is, uh, a hotel.”

Bokuto’s eyes light up and he flashes Konoha a grin. “It is! But they also have a restaurant! Best meat in the area and it’s pretty private!”

Konoha gulps.

_Private? What does he mean private? Like murder private or sexy private? Pro athletes have a lot of sway. He might be able to get away with murder if he wanted to. Shit. With that smile he could stand next to a pile of dead bodies and still look innocent._

They enter the area for the restaurant and Bokuto practically skips up to the host. “Hey, man!” He does a secret handshake with the server, complete with a small half hug. “I have a reservation for two today.”

The server gives a small silent chuckle at Bokuto before smiling over at Konoha. “This way please.” They take them to one of the corners that are partially blocked by shoji.

“Thanks, man!” Bokuto happily cheers and settles in as the server leaves. He turns to Konoha with his eyes twinkling. “The food here is to die for. I come here all the time.” He grins again before his eyes go wide in panic. “But don’t tell anyone that! I don’t want to be forced to run more because I can’t stick to my diet!”

_Diet?_

Konoha does a small snort. “Why would you need to diet, Bokuto-san?”

“I don’t think I do!” He crosses his arms and grumbles. “But _somebody_ thinks that since I’m a pro athlete that I can’t eat junk food all the time. I’m forced to eat vegetables and stuff instead of meat and chips and sweets.” He sinks into the seat more, the pout on his face growing.

“Pretty sure Kuroo-san knows you cheat on your diet all the time.” He interlaces his fingers and rests his chin on his hands. “I highly doubt you’re capable of keeping a secret and I’m about 9000% positive that Keiji has ratted you out at some point.”

Bokuto does a dramatic gulp and stares over at him with wide eyes. “Keiji is scary. But I can keep a secret! The media hasn’t found out about me and Tetsu dating and it’s been,” he starts counting on his fingers, “seven years now. I think?”

Konoha raises his eyebrows at that. “Seven years? I’m impressed.”

“I told yo—”

“I didn’t think you’d be able to keep a secret for seven minutes.”

Bokuto lets out a half squeak and his mouth hangs open. “Are you being mean to me right now? I can’t believe it. Keiji was right.”

“Right about what?” Konoha’s eyebrows furrow.

Bokuto’s mouth spreads into a spiteful grin. “That you’re just as terrible a person as he is.”

Konoha scoffs back. “There’s no way in hell. You have met him, right?”

Bokuto smiles back at him and bounces in his seat lightly. “We’ll see about that~.” He gives a wink before calling the server over. “It’s time for drinks so we can test that theory!”

**. . .**

“Why’d you ask me out on a date?” Konoha slurs, leaning on the table slightly. They’d eaten to their hearts content and had been drinking steadily the whole time. There was still booze left that demanded to be drank, though. Couldn’t leave no drink undrunk.

Bokuto tilts his head slightly to the right. “Whadda mean?”

“You’ve gat Kuroo-san ‘n’ you’re so ‘andsome you could get ‘nyone. Why go out with a straight man?” He sticks his tongue out and fake gags.

“Ohhh~.” Bokuto puts the bottle he was about to drink down and rubs his chin. “I like a challenge.” He grins back. “But I’m not sure it’s much of a challenge since you already admitted to wanting to sleep with me.”

“Ugh.” Konoha runs his hand over his face. “I hate Keiji sooo much.”

Bokuto lets out a loud, boisterous laugh that startles some of the other guests. “Why man? He’s a great wingman.”

Konoha gives him a flat look.

_Lucifer had wings once too._

A smirk spreads across Bokuto’s face and he slouches down in his seat slightly. Konoha fears he might be too drunk when he feels Bokuto’s shoeless foot grazing up his leg toward his crotch. He jolts in surprise and stares wide-eyed over at Bokuto who’s smirking and giving him lustful eyes.

The touch goes straight to his dick. Physically and blood flow wise.

Bokuto’s eyes light up when he reaches Konoha’s semi-erect cock. He rubs against it lightly before whispering, “You should take it out.”.

_He. Wants. Me. To take my dick out. In public? Celebrities are wild._

Konoha’s brain is about to internally combust from weighing the pros and cons and doing irrelevant math when Bokuto lets out another cackle. “Just kidding~!” He grins and pulls his foot away. “Well, sort of.” He shrugs. “How do you feel about getting one of the rooms here?” He gives another one of those innocent grins and winks.

_I can’t believe I’m going to do this._

**. . .**

Bokuto holds Konoha’s hand in the elevator. Konoha stares forward at his reflection trying not to look like he was being kidnapped by the most handsome man he’d ever met.

_Since when was hand holding this hot? Keiji was right about being excited when he first held Kuroo-san’s hand. I just thought he was horny. Wait. Why am I thinking about Keiji? I have bigger worries._

He glances over to Bokuto’s physique.

_Much, much bigger problems. I really wish Keiji didn’t give me the mental image of Bokuto-san beating him to death with his dick._

The elevator dings and Konoha does a whole existence cringe.

Bokuto sweetly leads them to their room and unlocks it. He closes it behind them before taking both of Konoha’s hands and slowly leading him to the bed. He sits and pulls Konoha onto his lap. He brushes some of Konoha’s hair back and looks all over his face. “Is this okay?”

_Don’t propose. Don’t propose. Don’t propose. You haven’t even picked out a ring yet! Wait. No!_

He manages a light breathy laugh. “Pretty sure you were trying to give me a footjob earlier, so sitting on your lap feels a bit tame.”

Bokuto grimaces before letting out a joyful laugh. “You got me there. But I meant sex.”

_Uhh. Considering I really considered whipping my dick out in the middle of a restaurant earlier, I’d say this is much better._

He manages to give a shaky nod and attempts to smile.

Bokuto’s eyes flicker down to Konoha’s lips. “Can I kiss you now?”

Konoha leans forward and rests his forehead against Bokuto’s. “Again. Footjob in restaurant.” He gives Bokuto a smirk before wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing their lips together.

Kissing Bokuto was exactly how Konoha had always imagined it. Or had recently started to imagine it. Since the footjob. Yeah. Just since then. No way he’d thought about it before then. Nope. That would’ve been _pretty_ _gay_ of him. Bokuto kissed eagerly and hard; just like he played volleyball. Konoha had never kissed anyone like that since most girls weren’t that aggressive in bed. Or that strong.

Bokuto’s hands soon slid down Konoha’s back and cupped his ass. Konoha reflexively tenses up from the contact. Years of being adamantly against being fucked in the ass wouldn’t just go away because there was a heaven-sent specimen on a man under him.

Bokuto pulls his mouth from Konoha to mouth and kiss his neck. “Don’t worry. I know you’re straight. Mostly. I’ll be bottoming. This time.” He pulls away briefly to give a wink before crashing his lips back down on Konoha’s and giving his ass another squeeze.

_AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Wait. If I’m topping that means I can fuck him doggie style and run my hands and mouth all over his back. Aaaaaaaaah!_

Bokuto bites Konoha’s lip and snickers. “I like it rough, by the way.”

Konoha grabs Bokuto’s hair and pulls him away. Bokuto’s face is flushed already and he has a predatory look in his eyes. He manages a small confident smirk before clamping his teeth on Bokuto’s neck. Bokuto groans, grabs Konoha’s ass tighter, and rocks him back and forth on his lap. Konoha can already feel Bokuto’s hard cock straining against his pants. He sighs against Bokuto’s mouth, not feeling disgusted by having someone’s cock touching him, but making him hornier instead. He goes back to making out with Bokuto as he slides Bokuto’s vest off and tosses it on the floor.

He can feel Bokuto grinning against him and his hands rove over Konoha, eager to get at him. Bokuto starts to remove Konoha’s shirt, but stops and grips Konoha’s thighs instead, trying to behave. Konoha gives a small laugh against Bokuto’s mouth before stripping off Bokuto’s shirt and running his hands down his chest. Bokuto’s hands find their way back to under Konoha’s shirt. He grips Konoha’s hips to prevent himself again, but Konoha pulls his shirt off for Bokuto.

Bokuto presses their chests against each other, one hand dipping back in Konoha’s pants and cupping his ass, making him grind against Bokuto, and kisses him rough. Konoha surprises himself and gives a small moan. Hearing that, Bokuto fuels Bokuto on more. He picks Konoha up by the ass, turns around and drops him on the bed. He kisses down him as he deftly unbuttons his pants and throws them on the floor, unbuttoning his own with his other hand.

Konoha freezes. He’s half hard, scared, and staring at the outline of Bokuto’s cock in his pants.

Bokuto looks back up at him and gives a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I get rambunctious. I haven’t forgotten this is your first time with a man. Just tell me if I do something you don’t like.”

Konoha gives a weak nod and Bokuto finishes taking off his pants but leaves his underwear on. He runs both hands up Konoha’s thighs, not touching his cock, and lightly runs his nails back down. He puts one of Konoha’s legs over his shoulder, kissing it and sucking on it while watching him and trying to make him feel more comfortable. As Konoha lets some of the tenseness go in one leg, Bokuto switches to the other, kissing and sucking on it until he gets close to Konoha’s genitals.

Seeing Konoha finally relaxing, Bokuto pulls him to the edge of the bed and rests his hands on Konoha’s hips, slipping a finger on each side into his underwear. He looks straight at Konoha, raises his eyebrows, and slowly starts to slide his boxers off. Shaking, Konoha lifts up slightly to let Bokuto take them off. The not gay angle aside, it’s more embarrassing than it should be because he’s lost his erection due to his nervousness.

Bokuto doesn’t seem to mind or be offended, though. Instead, he strokes Konoha slowly, still maintaining eye contact until he’s partially hard. He pulls Konoha closer to the edge of the bed and kneels on the floor. He pulls his hands away, grips Konoha’s hip with one, and runs his lips over Konoha’s dick.

Konoha’s mind starts to go fuzzy at that. Have sex with the Bokuto Koutarou? Okay. That was going to happen. That was a Thing™ that had already been agreed upon. The Bokuto Koutarou giving him head? That was not on the list of expectations for the day. It was so far out of reach that he’d never even considered the possibility.

Bokuto smiles against him, teasing Konoha with his lips running over his glans while staring at Konoha. Konoha squirms slightly, but unconsciously presses his cock against Bokuto’s lips in nervous anticipation. Bokuto opens his mouth and licks up the underside of his dick, eyes half-lidded, and panting starting to return. He looks down at Konoha’s dick, looks back up at Konoha, licks his lips, and takes Konoha into his mouth.

Konoha gives a groan, bucking his hips into Bokuto’s mouth more. Bokuto’s still watching him, his free hand moving rapidly on his own cock. Konoha pants a few times before managing to run one hand through Bokuto’s hair. Bokuto nuzzles against him and gives a soft moan, deepthroating Konoha in the process. Tentatively, Konoha grabs Bokuto’s hair with both hands and slowly stands up. Bokuto makes space for him, keeping Konoha’s dick in his mouth the entire time, and lightly rests his left hand on Konoha’s hand.

Slowly, Konoha starts to thrust into Bokuto’s mouth. He starts shallow, but Bokuto is still bobbing on him while staring at him. Konoha can partially see Bokuto stroking himself still. He grips tighter on Bokuto’s hair and shoves his cock further in. Bokuto moans around him and becomes more eager in his movements.

“Fuck.” Konoha whispers, picking up the pace as he thrusts more into Bokuto’s mouth, shoving his entire cock in. Bokuto keeps moaning at the sensation, not breaking eye contact. Konoha stares back into Bokuto’s half-lidded golden eyes and at his puffy lips wrapped around his dick. He slips the hand Bokuto isn’t holding to the back of Bokuto’s head, grips his hair roughly, and slams into him a few times until he’s on the cusp of orgasming. He tries to pull out quickly before he comes in his idol’s mouth, but instead ends up coming on Bokuto’s face.

Konoha stoops down to his knees, and starts to wipe his come off Bokuto’s face, but Bokuto grabs his wrists and kisses him instead, pressing his body against Konoha’s. Konoha can feel Bokuto’s own cum that had ended up on his hand, cock, and stomach pressing against his skin in-between him and Bokuto.

Instead of being grossed out, he melts a little. His body relaxes against Bokuto’s and he kisses him back more passionately, mouth open and exploring. Bokuto’s already hard against him again, having the sex drive Keiji had alluded to, Konoha runs one hand down Bokuto’s chest and grasps Bokuto’s cock.

Bokuto pulls away from the kiss, eyebrows raised but still thoroughly turned on. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know.” Konoha plants his mouth back on Bokuto’s, whispering against his lips. “I want to touch you too.”

Bokuto whines at that, starting to thrust into Konoha’s hand steadily. Konoha strokes him some more while running his nails down Bokuto’s back, building up courage. Bokuto whines and continues to fuck Konoha’s hand. Konoha can tell he’s starting to get frustrated, _needing_ more, when he pushes himself to pull away, take a deep breath and ask. “Can I?”

Bokuto looks confused before it seems to click. “You can do anything you like to me.”

Konoha lets out a breathy sigh. He moves slightly, since they’re still on the floor, and gets down on his elbows, making sure to put his ass in the air. He nervously stokes Bokuto a few times and watches him before placing the tip of Bokuto’s cock just far enough in his mouth where his tongue is resting on the glans. It’s a test to see if he _can_ suck a cock. No revulsion hits him, and he lowers his mouth further on Bokuto’s cock, hollowing his cheeks out and putting as much pressure as possible. He goes down until his cock get near the back of his throat, and quickly comes back up. He bobs up and down several times like this before meeting Bokuto’s eyes again.

Bokuto’s leaning back on his hands now, panting, and watching Konoha intently. Something about it turns Konoha on and he has the urge to give Bokuto a show. He reaches around behind himself and rubs his hole softly before trying to put a finger in. Instantly, he winces at the discomfort.

“Hold on,” Bokuto quickly intervenes, grabbing his pants and pulling out a small package of lube. He tears it open and places some on Konoha’s fingers, gently rubbing it all over and setting it aside.

Konoha brings his hand back around to his ass, taking more time to rub his hole and relax, before slowly slipping a finger in. He grunts, but as he adjusts, he moves his finger in and out. The grunts quickly turn into moans around Bokuto’s dick.

“Akinori,” Bokuto whines, “you’re making me want to fuck you.” He gives a whimper. “If you’re going to finger yourself, can I at least see?”

Konoha pulls away from Bokuto’s cock, mouth still slightly open, eyeing him slightly. “What, uh. What did you have in mind?”

Bokuto gives a terrifying grin. “Just turn around? You don’t even have to touch me. I just want to watch you.”

Konoha’s heart jumps at nervousness and his cock jumps in arousal. He slowly gets up, turns around, gets on his knees, and places his chest on the floor. He rests his head on the floor where he could watch Bokuto. Hands trembling, he reaches back to his hole, but Bokuto intervenes, pouring more lube on his fingers and down his ass.

“Trust me, you can never have enough lube.”

Konoha gives a hum before rubbing his hole and inserting a finger all the way in. He gives a small moan and bucks his hips forward slightly and he thrusts his finger in and out. Behind him, Bokuto’s slowly stroking himself and biting his lip. Feeling encouraged, and more aroused than he knows what to do with, he slips in a second finger.

That results in a louder moan and he can feel and see his cock leaking precum on the floor. Bokuto’s stroking himself faster behind him and panting, one hand creeps up and rubs Konoha’s ass cheek. Konoha starts thrusting his fingers inside himself, letting out a series of groans and whimpers as he goes.

“God. I want to fuck you so bad.” Bokuto whines, one hand on his own cock still and the other gripping Konoha’s hip.

Feeling brave, and horny as fuck, Konoha offers something neither of them expected. “Then do it. Fuck me, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s eyes light up at the offer. He opens his mouth to reply, but quickly snaps it shut, closes his eyes, and pulls his hands away to sit on them. “You don’t have to offer it just because I said it. I know that’s not what you came here for today.” Konoha, now adding a third finger, moans back at him. Bokuto peeks one eye open and Konoha smirks at him. He gives a sigh. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Only for you, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto searches in one of the nearby drawers and produces a bottle of lube. “Please. We’re both naked, call me Kou or Koutarou.” He applies a massive amount of lube on his fingers and takes a deep breath. “I’m going to _try_ to be gentle. It’s not really my strong suit. But let’s move to the bed.”

Konoha gives a weak nod and pulls his fingers out of himself before weakly climbing on the bed. His heart is pounding like he wants Bokuto to be pounding him and the nervousness is starting to kill his erection again.

Bokuto climbs on the bed behind him, throwing lube and several condoms on the bed with him. He playfully nips Konoha’s ass and runs his nails up one of his thighs before rubbing his fingers against Konoha’s hole. He slides one in easily and instantly Konoha can feel himself getting hard again. Bokuto pushes in and out of him a few times before adding a second finger, stretching him as he went. Konoha bucks his hips backward onto Bokuto’s fingers and starts to bring a hand down to touch himself but grabs the sheets instead.

“Smart. I wouldn’t let you touch yourself anyway.” Bokuto growls out in a low voice that makes Konoha’s cock twitch.

“Kou, Koutarou.” Konoha pants, “I’m not going to make it to you fucking me if you keep doing,” Bokuto presses in hard against his prostate, “tthhhaaat.” Konoha moans out, releasing himself against the bed, untouched. He slumps a bit against the bed.

Bokuto gives a dark chuckle. “Good. It helps relax you.” At some point, he’d put three fingers in and was working them easily in and out of Konoha. He pulls them out, leaving Konoha to surprise himself with a sad whine. Bokuto leans over and presses his mouth against Konoha’s hole, hot tongue licking and pressing inside him.

Konoha lets out a gasp at the new sensation. He can hear the condom opening and Bokuto sliding it on. His hands then go to Konoha’s ass, grasping it and spreading it even further for Bokuto’s mouth.

“Koutarou, ah. Mnm.” Konoha pants out, hips getting lower to the bed wanting friction with anything.

Bokuto pulls his face away and presses his cock against Konoha’s hole. Konoha’s chest is still pressed against the bed and his hips are low. Bokuto leans over him, sneaks one arm under Konoha’s chest, hand guiding his neck toward him, and slowly kisses him. He eyes Konoha, looking for panic, before slowly pressing in.

Konoha grunts at the sheer size of Bokuto’s cock in him and Bokuto stops moving immediately even though he’s panting to keep himself from shoving it the rest of the way in. He kisses Konoha slowly again until Konoha stops tensing around him. He slowly pushes forward, kissing and sucking Konoha’s neck now, making him moan slightly and relax more for Bokuto. When he makes it all the way in, he pauses to kiss Konoha again before slowly pulling back out and then reburying his cock inside Konoha’s ass. Thinking about being fucked by Bokuto turns Konoha on even more and he lets out a small moan.

Bokuto flinches at that briefly, before thrusting into him at a slightly faster pace. He’s still got an arm under Konoha and one hand on his throat and face to see his face. Konoha moans louder for Bokuto to feel the vibrations on his throat.

“Fuck,” Bokuto growls before biting Konoha on the back. He thrusts harder into Konoha and pushes Konoha’s left leg up slightly, causing Bokuto to be deeper inside him.

Konoha gives another loud moan at that, hands gripping the sheets so hard it hurts now. Bokuto’s grunting now, getting faster and harder with each thrust inside Konoha. He moves his hand from Konoha’s throat to his opposite shoulder, pulling Konoha’s body toward him slightly as he buried himself inside repeatedly. Konoha can feel himself dripping wet and Bokuto starting to tense inside him. Any second now, he’d come from being fucked in the ass for the first time.

“Fuck, Akinori. I’m sorry. I want to come.” Bokuto pulls his arm from under Konoha, spreads Konoha’s legs more, grabs both his hips, bends over him slightly and starts pounding. Konoha’s gasping for air and moaning, about to come, when Bokuto wraps his arms around Konoha’s stomach, and pulls him on his lap. Bokuto bounces Konoha on his cock while kissing and biting his back.

Loving every second of it, Konoha takes over, bouncing himself on Bokuto’s cock, reaching back to grab Bokuto’s hair and moving Bokuto’s other hand to stroke his cock. “Koutarou make me come.” Konoha pants out against Bokuto’s lips. “Keep fucking me.”

Bokuto moans against his mouth, hand tightening on Konoha’s hip, shoving himself desperately in Konoha’s ass as he jerked him off. “You’re so fucking sexy right now, Akinori.”

Konoha slams himself down on Bokuto’s stiff cock a few more times, feeling it getting unbearably hard inside him, before he comes all over himself and Bokuto’s hand. He’s trying to catch his breath from coming yet again, but he can feel Bokuto still rock hard and thrusting inside him.

“Just. A. Little. More. Akinori.” He grunts before wrapping an arm under each of Konoha’s legs, picking him up, and slamming Konoha down on his cock several times. He lets out a loud groan, stills his hips, and slowly setting down Konoha.

Konoha pulls himself off and collapses on the bed, panting still. A tired Bokuto falls onto the bed beside him, eyes closed and grinning. He grasps around to find Konoha’s hand. Once he finds it, he interlaces their fingers and kisses the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry. I know that was too rough. You felt so good though. I didn’t want to stop.” He lets out a giggle with his eyes still closed. “Give me twenty and then you can fuck my brains out or we can do whatever.”

Konoha brushes some of Bokuto’s sweaty hair away from his eyes. “You were amazing, Koutarou.” His eyes start to flutter shut. “I think I’m going to need more than twenty minutes, though.”

**. . .**

Konoha wakes up a couple hours later under the blankets with most of the lights in the room off. Bokuto’s sitting in a chair near the window wrapped in another blanket and playing on his phone. Confused, he sits up, rubbing his eyes. He wraps the blanket around his shoulder and wanders over to Bokuto.

Bokuto grins and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Hurt a lot?”

_Fuck, yes it hurts a lot. You pounded me like a nail._

“A little sore.” He flubs. “And a little surprised you’re still here.”

“What do you mean?” Bokuto furrows his eyebrows.

“Ah. I just, uh. Didn’t expect you to hang around if I was just sleeping. It’s not very much fun for you.”

“Oh.” Bokuto’s face softens. “It’s no big deal. I napped with you for a bit. And,” he shrugs, “you still haven’t gotten what you wanted yet and I would love to see your face as you,” he grabs Konoha’s face and slowly kisses him in-between words, “Bury. Your. Throbbing. Rock-hard. Cock. Deep. In my ass.”

If Konoha hadn’t just had his brains fucked out by Bokuto, he probably would’ve exploded. His brain _and_ his dick probably would’ve exploded. At this point, he wasn’t even capable of blushing anymore.

“Oh.” He dumbly replies. “Is this like a fan service package that I’m going to have to pay for later or something?” he tries to joke, unable to believe that he had orgasmed several times at the hands of the sexy man in front of him and the same man was offering his body to him still.

Bokuto stares at him for a moment before giving a boisterous laugh. “I’d never charge for sex.” He grins. “It’s too much fun to ask for anything in exchange for it. You seem like an alright guy and were curious. You’re handsome, so I thought we could have some fun.” He gives another grin. “I’m at your beck and whim. Just let me know if you wanna fuck or if you’re ready to go home. Hell. I give good massages too.”

Konoha gives a small laugh before letting his blanket fall into a pile around his feet. Though his ass was sore, his cock was standing proudly again. “I think I’d like to see what it’s like fucking a man as well.”

Bokuto eyes him hungrily before grinning and throwing his blanket off to reveal he was still naked as well. “I was hoping you’d say that. I’m stretched and ready for you to fuck me.” He stands up, taking Konoha’s face in his hands, eagerly kissing him and guiding him backwards to the bed.

Konoha’s legs hit the bed and he falls backwards. Bokuto grabs a condom off the bedside table and slips it on Konoha’s eager cock. Konoha presses into Bokuto’s hand, but Bokuto doesn’t entertain him. Instead he kisses him and twirls his hair.

“How do you want me?”

“Uhh.” Konoha looks off to the side. He hadn’t considered being in control. “On your back?”

Bokuto rubs their noses together before crawling on the bed, laying on his back, and spreading his legs. He strokes himself lazily as Konoha positions himself in-between his legs. Up close, Konoha can see the lube glistening on and around Bokuto’s ass and even a little on his cock.

_He was touching himself waiting for me._

Konoha gives a full-body shiver thinking about it as he presses himself against Bokuto. Slightly unsure of how to fuck a man differently than a woman, he gives a worried look to Bokuto. Bokuto just grins back at him and reaches out for a hug. Konoha sinks down into Bokuto’s embrace. Bokuto kisses him on the forehead before grabbing Konoha’s hips and pulling him back down to where he was pressing against him again. He wraps a hand in Konoha’s hair and licks his lips.

“You can shove it in. You’re not going to hurt me.” He kisses down Konoha’s neck, still keeping Konoha’s body close to his.

Taking a deep breath, Konoha presses himself into Bokuto. He gets the head in slowly, but after that, he rams himself into Bokuto. Bokuto lets out a small groan and tightens around him.

“M-more.”

Konoha exhales shakily before carefully thrusting in and out of his idol, unsure this was real even though Bokuto was doing the fucking earlier. Getting more excited, he starts thrusting harder and faster, reveling in the way Bokuto’s face was showing pure ecstasy.

“Mhnaaa. Akinoriii. Fuck me. Fuck me. Keep pounding me.” Bokuto whines, his hands finding Konoha’s ass, helping Konoha slam into him.

“Fuck, Koutarou.” Konoha pants, feeling his own orgasm approaching. He can see that Bokuto’s not close enough to let loose and give into his orgasm, but his brain is getting foggy. He uses one hand to hold his weight, presses his knees in the bed to help keep him from going too deep inside Bokuto, trying to only have the head in, and uses his free hand to jerk Bokuto off.

Bokuto tightens around Konoha instantly. He gives a moan, cock hardening in Konoha’s hand and hands trying press Konoha forward inside him. Konoha lightly pulls his cock out and reinserts the head several times teasingly. Bokuto’s babbling, begging for more at this point. Enjoying the power and spectacle underneath him, Konoha gives Bokuto a little more of his cock, only lightly moving.

Disgruntled and craving more, Bokuto moves one hand to Konoha’s hole and slips a finger in. Konoha lets out his own moan and falls forward slightly in surprise. Bokuto gives him a shameless grin as his fingers go deeper in Konoha’s ass.

Konoha LOVES it.

He’s already imaging threesomes with two men just from the feeling of being in Bokuto and having Bokuto’s fingers inside him. Cock twitching and begging to be sliding in and out of Bokuto’s ass, he buries his cock inside as requested. Bokuto’s fingers go farther in with the closeness of their bodies and Konoha thinks he’s going to die. He pauses for a second, trying to catch his breath and keep from coming already, wanting this to last for as long as possible.

Bokuto has other plans though. He’s rapidly shoving his fingers in and out of Konoha’s ass with one hand and trying to move Konoha’s hips with his other. Konoha rests his head on Bokuto’s chest, panting.

“Koutarou, _please_.” He continues to stroke Bokuto rapidly. “If you don’t calm down some, I’m going to come before you.”

Bokuto pauses for half a second before resuming finger banging Konoha’s ass and trying to get Konoha to slide in and out of him. “So? Go ahead and cum. I _want_ you to.”

Unable to argue with that logic, Konoha picks his head back up, and kisses Bokuto on the lips briefly. He slowly slides almost completely out of Bokuto before slamming back into him. Bokuto goes back to shoving his fingers in and out of his ass as much as possible. Too soon, Konoha feels himself having the orgasm of his life. His whole body tenses as he lets out a moan loud enough for half the hall to hear, and he feels his orgasm wash over him for what feels like minutes.

Weakly, he pulls himself from Bokuto and flops on the bed beside him, unaware of his surroundings. “Please tell me you came.” He whines, eyes closed and chest heaving. “Because I _can’t_ for a minute. I can’t even exist right now.”

Bokuto gives a little snicker and takes the hand Konoha had been using to stroke Bokuto with, rubbing the cum into his hand.

“Thank god.” He groans, covering his eyes with his arm.

Bokuto gives him a few minutes to rest before he starts kissing on Konoha again.

“I don’t know whether I should be jealous of Kuroo-san or pity him.” Konoha mutters to Bokuto in-between kisses. “Are you always like this?”

“Yes.” Bokuto replies quickly and flatly. “Just kidding~.” He breaks out into that joyful smile of his. “Kind of. I’ve got all this surplus energy since we’re on break right now and Tetsu’s going to be at Keiji’s tonight, so I’m having my fun with you instead.”

“Definitely pity.” He grimaces back. “Speaking of Keiji, will you do me a favor?”

“Ohoho?” Bokuto lays on his side and props his head up with an elbow. “What kind of favor do you so desire?”

_I’m making a deal with the devil. I never thought he’d have such a pretty face._

“Uh. Can I talk a picture of you sucking my cock?”

Bokuto’s eyebrows immediately furrow and his smile fades.

“Just to show Keiji once. Nothing else, I promise.” Konoha gives an awkward chuckle. “I want to get a little petty revenge and then I’ll delete it.”

“Okay~” Bokuto sings, hops up, and starts searching for Konoha’s phone.

“Wait. What? It’s that easy?”

“Huh?” Bokuto straightens up, pausing, with Konoha’s phone in hand. “Don’t worry about it, man.” He shrugs. “If you leak a picture of me sucking dick, then a picture of me sucking dick gets leaked.” He hops on the bed and hands him his phone. “It’ll either get pegged as photoshopped or my image will suffer.”

Konoha stares back at him with an open mouth. “What? Aren’t you _worried_ about that at all?”

“No Akinori, I’m _really_ not.” He collapses on his back, putting his hands behind his head, and grinning again. “I’ve been playing volleyball since I was _five_. I played through school, college, and have been playing for the national team for several years now. Don’t get me wrong, I _love_ it, but I’m tired. I’m not like Satori. I don’t have the choice to only play when I feel like it. I’d like to keep playing for four more years and then call it quits, but I also want to keep going until Tetsu finishes graduate school, so he can go to tournaments with me one last time.” He wrinkles his nose a bit. “I think he knows that though. I hate that he knows that. I don’t want him to feel bad about doing school.”

“You. You want to quit?” Konoha repeats, his mouth hanging open slightly.

Bokuto turns his head slightly to look at him. “Yeah. Sorry. In a few years you’ll have to find a new favorite.” He sticks his tongue out at Konoha. “If it’s someone I know, we can totally have a threesome. Or an orgy even.” He shrugs. “Oh. But don’t mention the quitting thing to Tetsu or Keiji. You can show them the picture but don’t tell them, okay?” he holds his pinky out for a pinky promise.

_Well if you ask like that._

Konoha hooks his pinky around Bokuto’s to seal the deal. Bokuto gives him a wide grin and flips over onto Konoha’s lap. He licks Konoha’s cock several times before taking him in his mouth and bobbing on him until he’s fully hard. Konoha almost forgets why Bokuto’s sucking his dick. He’s starting to work his hips into Bokuto’s mouth, his cock feeling hotter and hotter by the second.

_I wish I could remember this forever. Oh wait._

He fumbles to unlock his phone and pulls up the camera app. With one hand he strokes Bokuto’s cheek and takes the photo with the other hand. Satisfied, he pulls Bokuto away from his cock to kiss him. “I’ve got one last favor.”

Bokuto’s eyes light up a bit dangerously at that. “Yeah?”

“Can I fuck you from behind? Your back is so sexy.”

“My back?” Bokuto bites his lip and snorts before busting out into a full laugh. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t realize that’s my sexiest feature.” He snorts lightly again and kisses Konoha on the cheek. “Anything you want, though.”

“Good, because I’m going to put so many bite marks on your back that Kuroo’s going to track me down and kick my ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on a Konoha/Bokuto/Kuroo threesome?

**Author's Note:**

> The album inspiration for this work is Humanz by Gorillaz.


End file.
